Sunday, 11 July 2010

Where Do We Go Now But Nowhere?

How does he do it?

You might think that each post on this blog is perfectly measured and thought out. You might think each word is chosen with complete precision and with the greatest respect for our wonderful language. Indeed, you might wonder that. You'd be horribly wrong of course but still, people wonder about everything. I wonder what Raoul Moat had in that sandwich the cops gave him? I wonder what Michael Jackson use to do to pass his time when no one was watching? I wonder if I'll ever have children?

Did Michael like Rubik's cubes perhaps? Was he big on Call of Duty?

If you want to know the truth about this blog, I'll tell you. I think about posting for days and days. I hopelessly procrastinate like people that need to write essays or visit the dentist. I log on to blogspot only to be distracted by one of those spam banners that says 'Shoot 5 iPads to win!' Basically, I put off posting for so long until I feel really bad and then I feverishly type up a barely coherent post and publish it. Then the clock is rewound and ticks down until my next post. "I'll post every day this week," I say. I won't.

Why now then? Well I just watched the World Cup Final and I'm putting off going to bed because this boy gotta be at work tomorrow. I won't post to much about the game because I always promised not to turn this into a football blog and I'm aware that if I make one post about football, it's all over. I'll just say that I'm sad Holland didn't win (that's bets talking there) but Van Bommel was a brilliant villian throughout the tournament and I enjoyed him and his dark arts massively. It's all over now. Back to the fascinating Premier League that I'm falling out of love with quicker than I did with vanilla Coca-Cola.

Marc Van Bommel relaxing before the WC final yesterday.

I finally bought the Big Boi album. It's going to be delivered tomorrow. I'll be listening to that for what's left of the summer I should think. 'General Patton' is posted below. Give it a listen and tell me it didn't make you feel invincible. I was reading that OutKast's label somehow stopped Andre 3000 from appearing on the record which is, well, shitty. However, NEVER FEAR because that website that only employs the best of writers and only covers the most fascinating of stories - NME.COM - reports on some exciting OutKast developments. If you click the link you'll see that this is NME simply relaying couple of quotes from The Guardian that mean absolutely nothing. Big Boi says:

"Mum's the word cos when you talk about it then people gonna be anticipating it and then they tend to start getting mad at you if you don't deliver. You gotta just spring it on 'em..I can't say nothing about that [the album], 'Dre will tell me off, but I got a whole batch of collard greens,""

In short, I wouldn't really bother clicking the link but safe to say any future release from the duo will be interesting to say the least. C'mon, 'Idlewild' was at least a bit interesting, right? In fact, if you find that you've completely exhausted the internet and you're bored of googling your own name or whatever, why not read this other great story NME are covering about Korn playing a gig in the middle of a crop circle.

Yes, that's Korn and crop circles. Let me briefly list a few more things I don't believe in:

Father Christmas
Paul Gascoigne's sanity
Fleet Foxes
Foxes posing a threat to ACTUAL HUMANS who can use weapons and stuff.
Horseradish sauce
People enjoying Monday mornings
Tupac being alive and/or in the company of Elvis Presley

Trail of dead bodies out of shot.

Title is taken from one of many great songs on Sir Nick Cave's 'The Boatman's Call'. A real uplifting listen for all of you people out there that put money on Holland to win the world cup only to have your hopes dashed by David Villa, his silly little beard and his team of bandits.

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