Sunday, 18 July 2010

Blogaday #7: Happy Birthday Man! Happy Birthday Dinosaur!

Does this look appetising? Maybe not. Would I like it on my birthday? Absolutely.

"I knew it was coming but I wasn't sure when." This was my response after checking earlier when the first anniversary of giving birth to this blog was. Turns out it was yesterday. As is often the way with time, I can't believe how quickly that year has gone. I'm also really proud that this blog is still going. Rarely do I apply myself. It's even more rare for me to apply myself over a long period of time. Just look at my educational history to see some stone cold evidence of that people. Yes, there's been times where I have rarely written and everything but still, we still here man.

So it's happy birthday to Man, Meet Dinosaur. If anyone wants to create any spin off blogs along the same theme, I'm cool with that. I've suggested a fashion blog called Woman, Meet Stiletto and a games blog called Man, Meet Bowser but strangely, no one has taken me up on these offers. It might have something to do with other people having loads of things to do that are more important than blogging about a load of inconsequential rubbish still, writing a blog makes you feel good. Keeps you sharp.

Well then, here's to many years to come or an acrimonious divorce Dinosaur. It's going to be one or the other. Cheers.

In other news, how cool is the 'Power' artwork?!

Saturday, 17 July 2010

Blogaday #6: When It Was Over, I Woke Up Alone.

It's hard to separate the artist from the music. I believe that this is something you have to do if you want to get the most out of not just music but art generally. Nobody can paint as well as Picasso, doesn't mean I care about all his WAGs. I'm pretty much obsessed with The Smiths, I find Morrissey and his morals a bit annoying. You see what I'm getting at. If you focus too much on the person you only end being dissapointed. That's just what happens. I mean, I haven't seen or heard of any INXS fans since Michael Hutchence died in a erm unsavoury manner.

With all this in mind, I give you The Gaslight Anthem. They constantly talk about New Jersey and Bruce Springsteen. They're covered in tattoos etc etc. I can see how all these cliches could really put you off these guys. I thought the same until I heard 'The 59 Sound' a while back and played and played and played it to death. It's in no way original and is completely indebted to young Springsteen railing against the shackles and monotony of everyday life but still, it was packed to a New Jersey mechanics rafters with tunes. Anyway, The Gaslight Anthem had a new record out last month called 'American Slang' and I've read and heard less than positive things about it but with memories of 'The 59 Sound' still fresh in mind, I'm going to give it a real go. You might want to do what I do with these guys and watch their videos with your eyes closed.

Talking of The GA and their obsession with everyone's favourite boss. Here's GA singer Brian Fallon covering a fine song of Bruce's and doing a really good job too.

"Tryin' in vain to breathe the fire we was born in..."

Friday, 16 July 2010

Blogaday #5: Dreamin' of California Billin'

This isn't one of those stars McDonald's staff get for being good at mopping or whatnot.

I can't really post today because I've gotta hit the road Jack but still come back no more no more no more. Obviously, I cannot break my promise to blogaday though so here's a little summin' summin'. These two songs have one thing in common and one thing in common only - they both make me smile from ear to ear. Regardless of day, time or weather. This, ladies and gentlemen, is my kind of shit.

"What more can I say? Top billin'"

"All the leaves are brown, and the sky is grey."

This still counts as a post, right?

Thursday, 15 July 2010

Blogaday #4: Alone We Stand, Together We Fall Apart

Julian went to rehab at 14. Life ain't easy for the son of a business-mogul and a model livin' in NYC

God, I'm tired today. Blogaday #4 very nearly didn't happen. Just now I layed down and rested my eyelids for about 6 seconds and thought "Ahh. No one reads that damn blog anyway," but then I instantly felt more guilty than I ever have before. Think Phil Spector multiplied by the power of O.J Simpson. That guilty.

The Strokes then. Still got a massive fanbase in this country which largely rides on the back of an album they made nine years ago and the fact that they are all really good looking blokes and/or quite cool. Okay, maybe not the bassist but the point still stands. 'Is This It' still completely stands up for me as it happens. It's a strange one because if you dissected it and added up all the influences in there, you'd probably think it would sound a bit dated by now. A bit contrived even. Yet, it really doesn't. To me, it still sounds timeless in a completely untraditional way. 'Hard to Explain' knocks the majority of singles from the past decade into a hat. It is the perfect 'indie' song. As urgent as it is detached, it really is a marvel.

I'm talking about The Strokes because I just read a funny little 'article' on As always with this website (see Korn story from a couple of posts back), their stories really aren't anything at all. This one is simply a short offhand quote Julian Casablancas (how is that name not fictional?!) gave to XFM padded out a bit. Yo NME, you can't pad a padder. Every post I've ever made has about two valid sentences and a whole load of padding. My posts are pixels and html code dressed in American football gear.

The quote:
"It’s [the new album] been a labour!," he said. "It's all good. I was going to make a joke and say it was a labour of necessity, but no, it’s going to be fantastic."
I love this. It's almost passive-aggressive. There have been rumours abound for ages that The Strokes simply hate each others New York condo dwelling guts. It's no secret and this quote reflects it perfectly. By saying "...I was going to make a joke," yet then still going on to make the joke is the kind of thing I do all the time. It usually manifests itself in a "I could say something mean here. I mean, I could. If I was being horrible right now I could say that .." sort of way.

Keep it up Casablancas. I'm sure the album is going to be, well, I was going to make a joke there and say it's an album too far, but no, it's going to be fantastic.

Title taken from this beauty below:

Wednesday, 14 July 2010

Blogaday #3: "Your Mind Is The Scene of The Crime"

"Dear world, Please don't dress up as me at fancy dress parties. Yours, Joker."

That title is not a Fall Out Boy or My Chemical Romance lyric, you'll be shocked to hear. It is in fact taken from a summary of Christopher Nolan's new film, 'Inception', which is due for release on Friday. Now, Christopher Nolan along with his brother Jonathan fairly recently directed a film called 'The Dark Knight' that not only did sort of well at the box office but was also a great and wicked and all that good stuff film. In fact, I can't remember a big budget film ever looking so good on the screen. 'The Dark Knight' was the first time I'd seen special effects that you can genuinely call breathtaking. People'll (geeks) probably tell you that Lord of The Rings had the best effects of all time and all that but did you see that scene where the hobbits were sat in those massive talking trees?! I think it was on 'Return of The King' but yeah, the whole thing looked like it was culled from a panto in Wolverhampton or something. Could Keith Chegwin do a good Frodo?

I got sidetracked there. The Nolan brothers are very very good, both together and apart. We all know. For this reason , big things are expected of 'Inception'. Oh yeah, the film stars Leonardo DiCaprio (good), Cillian Murphy (good), Michael Caine (bit annoying) and Ellen Page (not forgiven for Juno yet). I did some reading earlier to find out a little more about the plot and I'll be honest, I found it a little worrying.
"Dom Cobb is a skilled thief, the absolute best in the dangerous art of extraction, stealing valuable secrets from deep within the subconscious during the dream state, when the mind is at its most vulnerable."
Okay. It's going to be one of 'those films' I thought. Could be confusing but I'm a moderately intelligent guy, I'll give it a chance. I then, out of curiosity, checked out some reviews on Metacritic. I read some of the good ones first. They said things like " of the summer, movie of our dreams..." which is very clever and yes I see what they've done there and "...Nolan delivers another true original." From these reviews, everything looks in order doesn't it? Yet, you have to balance these things and read the bad ones too. These said things like

"I'd like to tell you just how bad Inception really is, but since it is barely even remotely lucid, no sane description is possible."


Inception manages to be clunky and confusing on four separate levels of reality.
FOUR LEVELS OF REALITY?! FOUR!! I can't get my head around that ffs! I struggle with one reality. I'm now really really worried that this film could end up a bit like all those Matrix films that came out after the first one. I saw all of them at the cinema and I couldn't tell you one thing that happens in any of them. All I know is that on the opening night of one of those films there were some dorks at the cinema dressed up as Neo in what was a clear case of "This felt like a better idea at home than it actually is in real life."

For reference, if anyone ever tells me I'm clunky and confusing on four separate levels of reality I'm taking myself to the top of the multistory. No doubt I'll see some kids dressed as Neo up there too.

Have a video link to remind you of how annoying 'Juno' is:

New Black Milk single works for me.

Tuesday, 13 July 2010

Blogaday #2: Thinking Outside of The Box

Guarantee at least one of those videos has a half taped over wedding on it and another one holds an episode of 'One Foot in The Grave'

Yesterday's post was my 50th. That's half a century of posts to you minions. God knows how many words. Each post is unique in its own special little way. Feel free to go and read them all. Anyway, second day into blogaday (as I tweeted yesterday, this has nothing to do with Timmy Mallet *shudder*) now and I'm here again at 23:46 desperately racking this brain of mine for anything of worth. Nope, drawn another blank.

If you even vaguely know me - be that in real life or via my much cooler and funnier internet and dinosaur related yarns, you'll know I've got a problem with DVD box sets. By that I don't mean that I'm some ridiculous purist that has issues with the DVD format nor do I like DVDs but dislike them being co-ordinated and issued as a 'box set'. Oh no dear reader. My problem is quite simple - I just can't stop buying them. Below you will see a list of box sets I have bought recentlyish, my current progress reflected as an estimated percentage and my first impressions or predictions of the content contained on each beautiful box set.

Current progress: 26%
Impressions: Clever little show. Annoys me a bit how Dexter will look all perplexed now and then only to then spring to life and pluck some ridiculous theory that happens to be bang on the money out of the ether. In that sense, he's a bit like Jonathan Creek. Differences between Dexter and Jonathan Creek are plain of course. Dexter isn't English, a Virgin, a member of The National Trust nor does he have a haircut not seen on anyone for approximately 25 years. What? Who's Carles Puyol?

The Wire
Current progress: 100%
Impressions: Just ridiculously good. Clever, cool and funny yet at times also really heartfelt. It is the perfect TV series. I got smashed once and watched the below scene about a hundred times convinced it was the truth, the meaning of life and all that. Fitzgerald, for once, probably isn't spinning in his grave as a popular programme discusses his work. Predictably, I just got distracted from writing this post by watching Wire clips for about half an hour.

The Sopranos

Current progress: 0.8%
Impressions: Okay, so I've underestimated that. I've just finished the first series but I'm sure there's about eleven series so I feel like I'm at the start of a long journey. I mean, didn't the last last episode air not that long ago yet on the series I just watched everything is crazy early 1990s. I like it that way. Ain't nobody wanna see Tony Soprano handing orders out via tweets on twitter or none of that stuff. I like it though. The whole idea of being a mobster yet the day-to-day business being, well, a bit mundane at times is a good one. It can't all be saying hello to my little friend and making offers people can't refuse. Also, Steve Van Zandt being in The E Street Band AND The Sopranos?! That's two good lifes he's got there. Hand one over here ya punk.

Breaking Bad

Current progress: 40%
Impressions: This is good. Yes, I sort of half wrote it off due to the Malcolm in the Middle dad situation because I'm simply ridiculous like that but damn, this is really good. If I didn't have box sets coming out of my box sets I'd really focus on this thang.

Generation Kill

Current progress: 0%
Impressions: Solely bought on The Wire association. I make no qualms about it. I have not watched a single minute of this and it remains in its wrap. I do want too. It's just this whole time thing. I think I need a considerable stint of unemployment in all honesty. Just a few years so I can watch DVDs and let's be honest, probably get really fat and turn into a social recluse that is scared of the sunlight. Yes, in other words, a 'Twilight' fan.

Mad Men
Current progress: 50%
Impressions: Don Draper also has Jonathan Creekitis where he plucks ideas out of nowhere for amazing advertising plans that have built the marketing world we know and probably hate so well today. He is a lot cooler than me generally though so I shouldn't complain too much. I haven't watched an episode of 'Mad Men' for quite a while. It's very well made and faithful to its era and all that put actually putting the disk in the tray just doesn't hold the same appeal as say 'Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2'.

Yeah so these are all my 'in progress' box sets (I rewatch The Wire episodes now and then) and every single one is American. What's that about? There must be some good British ones out there for me to waste some time on.

No, I can't think of any either.

Monday, 12 July 2010

Blogaday #1: Promise, Meet Dinosaur.

This bizarre image came up upon GISing the word 'promise'. Think of me as the little red guy and my blog as the thing being patted. Not entirely convinced about hairstyles all round.

I posted on this blog last night. Almost 24 hours ago exactly, in fact. Now, if you've read this blog before and looked at the average gap between posts you'd probably notice pretty quickly that it's usually quite large. I don't post anywhere near often enough and when I do, as you saw yesterday, it's always out of guilt for neglecting this minuscule amount of web-space that I inhabit on a less than part time basis.

So I made myself a promise. The worst sort of course - promises made to yourself. Mainly because if you break them, you feel terrible and you've let yourself down. Yet if you fulfill them, you don't have the added bonus that comes along with any other promise. That being that normally another person will think you're cool and wicked and trustworthy for not breaking your promise. They will label you a 'good egg' and most probably rely on you in the future more often than you'd like. Sounds harsh I know but hey, call me a cynic or call me honest, up to you.

My promise was that I'd post on my blog every day for a week by the way. I'm not really too fussed about content or length. I just have to post on this blog every day for a week. My hope is that it'll spur me on to post more in the future. Probably also will mean that my blog will get noticed and I'll get loads of money to waste as I please* whilst simultaneously becoming kinda like a big deal. So yeah, post a day. That's about it.

Meanwhile, there's a lot of festivals going on at this time of year. We've had Glastonbury, T In The Park was last weekend and now this weekend brings up Latitude. I could probably find a fair bit to watch at all of those festivals but by the same token, there is a lot of shit on, isn't there? If you've ever wondered what the collective minds of three World of Warcraft playing Doctor Who fans (who happen to own a copy of 'OK Computer') would sound like, may I introduce you to Muse.
"What's that Matt? You've wired up your X-Box to a Van de Graaff Generator in your bedroom? You're electrocuting a plastic bird of prey you made? Fascinating you little nerd."

Also, cost. I don't care too much for money really. I also only say that because I haven't got that much knowhaimsayin but festivals and tickets in general are getting expensive now. Damn they are. I was looking at getting a couple of tickets to see Florence + The Machine at Somerset house for a friends birthday. Y'know like a nice little surprise present but lo and behold the tickets were so expensive I could hear the people who run the Somerset House shows laughing on their way to the bank from here. Don't get me started on fat greasy men buying tickets to sell in bulk on eBay either. I guess some people just wanted to be scum of the earth when they grew up. They've succeeded, I'll give them that much. Never fear though reader, I have found a way round this expensive ticket dilemma. I am simply going to dress up as Florence myself and throw my own little gig in a house in Somerset. My backing will be machines of various incarnations. Probably a paint mixer, a dishwasher and one of the robots from 'Short Circuit'.

ANYWAY, this post was just to say I'll be posting every day for a week. Let's hope I don't run out of words to say. Life ain't a hoot if you're a mute.

*If you must know what I'd do with loads of money, I'd pay Matt Bellamy a tonne to live up in the bell tower of a cathedral in Notre Dame. I don't really know why, I've just got a hunch he'd like it up there.

Sunday, 11 July 2010

Where Do We Go Now But Nowhere?

How does he do it?

You might think that each post on this blog is perfectly measured and thought out. You might think each word is chosen with complete precision and with the greatest respect for our wonderful language. Indeed, you might wonder that. You'd be horribly wrong of course but still, people wonder about everything. I wonder what Raoul Moat had in that sandwich the cops gave him? I wonder what Michael Jackson use to do to pass his time when no one was watching? I wonder if I'll ever have children?

Did Michael like Rubik's cubes perhaps? Was he big on Call of Duty?

If you want to know the truth about this blog, I'll tell you. I think about posting for days and days. I hopelessly procrastinate like people that need to write essays or visit the dentist. I log on to blogspot only to be distracted by one of those spam banners that says 'Shoot 5 iPads to win!' Basically, I put off posting for so long until I feel really bad and then I feverishly type up a barely coherent post and publish it. Then the clock is rewound and ticks down until my next post. "I'll post every day this week," I say. I won't.

Why now then? Well I just watched the World Cup Final and I'm putting off going to bed because this boy gotta be at work tomorrow. I won't post to much about the game because I always promised not to turn this into a football blog and I'm aware that if I make one post about football, it's all over. I'll just say that I'm sad Holland didn't win (that's bets talking there) but Van Bommel was a brilliant villian throughout the tournament and I enjoyed him and his dark arts massively. It's all over now. Back to the fascinating Premier League that I'm falling out of love with quicker than I did with vanilla Coca-Cola.

Marc Van Bommel relaxing before the WC final yesterday.

I finally bought the Big Boi album. It's going to be delivered tomorrow. I'll be listening to that for what's left of the summer I should think. 'General Patton' is posted below. Give it a listen and tell me it didn't make you feel invincible. I was reading that OutKast's label somehow stopped Andre 3000 from appearing on the record which is, well, shitty. However, NEVER FEAR because that website that only employs the best of writers and only covers the most fascinating of stories - NME.COM - reports on some exciting OutKast developments. If you click the link you'll see that this is NME simply relaying couple of quotes from The Guardian that mean absolutely nothing. Big Boi says:

"Mum's the word cos when you talk about it then people gonna be anticipating it and then they tend to start getting mad at you if you don't deliver. You gotta just spring it on 'em..I can't say nothing about that [the album], 'Dre will tell me off, but I got a whole batch of collard greens,""

In short, I wouldn't really bother clicking the link but safe to say any future release from the duo will be interesting to say the least. C'mon, 'Idlewild' was at least a bit interesting, right? In fact, if you find that you've completely exhausted the internet and you're bored of googling your own name or whatever, why not read this other great story NME are covering about Korn playing a gig in the middle of a crop circle.

Yes, that's Korn and crop circles. Let me briefly list a few more things I don't believe in:

Father Christmas
Paul Gascoigne's sanity
Fleet Foxes
Foxes posing a threat to ACTUAL HUMANS who can use weapons and stuff.
Horseradish sauce
People enjoying Monday mornings
Tupac being alive and/or in the company of Elvis Presley

Trail of dead bodies out of shot.

Title is taken from one of many great songs on Sir Nick Cave's 'The Boatman's Call'. A real uplifting listen for all of you people out there that put money on Holland to win the world cup only to have your hopes dashed by David Villa, his silly little beard and his team of bandits.