They Shook

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Me getting frustrated at the internet. 20 years ago. In a parallel universe. On a 28k modem.

The internet is very frustrating. Getting on it I mean. I say this because I've been having problems recently and like a drug addiction or a lover, you only really miss it when you don't have it. Tune in for more ham-fisted analogies like that next wee...post.

As you may or may not have noticed, I've not posted for a while. I've been trying to sort my career out in truth, harder than it looks in the films I can assure you of that. Getting there though, one piece at a time. I feel I should comment on what's been going on since my last post but I can't really think now I'm here. We (England) got knocked out of the world cup which was disappointing yet, as always, a little reassuring too. We live in a country that really does live for the fall. If we won the thing, I don't know what we'd do actually. Send the trophy off to cashforgold.com and split the proceedings between the 51,000,000 of us I suppose. We love, just love, to hate hate hate in this country and our football team, well, they don't make it exactly hard sometimes. Example one below.

Example one.

Glastonbury went down last week too of course. The only weekend of the year where the nation's bongo players, roll-up smokers and teenagers in wayfarer sunglasses and straw hats descend on poor Somerset en masse. I didn't go. I watched a fair bit of it on the TV. That sentence itself "I watched a fair bit of it on TV" is an answer bores up and down the country have been trading off all week, you will have noticed. Tell you what though, you can really feel like you're there with that coverage. I hired a couple of fatties to sit either side of me on the couch and smelt their armpits at three minute intervals. It was amazingly effective. I had the sensation of being squashed in a crowd AND the waft of a spotty teens joint at the same time. All jokes aside though it looked pretty good and those guys had great weather too.

Glastonbury revellers kickin' stereotypes into touch last weekend

Couple of observations:

- Pet Shop Boys must be the definitive "can't-be-bothered-to-watch-them-but-when-you-doby accident-they-are-amazing" festival band.

- The xx are taking this moody/surly thing too far and that 'You've Got The Love' cover they did with Florence was shitty.

- Kele from Bloc Party is playing solo shows! As if there's ever been a slot more made to be buried deep in the 'red button' menu...

- Some of the Gorillaz collaborators would make brilliant dinner guests. Mark E Smith, Lou Reed, Shaun Ryder. In fact, Shaun Ryder looked like he'd been down a manhole since 1992 ingesting every drug imagin.....oh, he has. Still rocking the curtains haircut that I also had as a child I noted. For a bit of perspective, whilst I had this haircut I bought the single of MN8's 'I Got a Little Somethin' For Ya'.

- The National playing in the blazing sun doesn't look right.

- FAO Michael Eavis. Tom Waits and a reformed The Replacements next year and you've got my cash bro.

Other news:

This Eminem comeback sorry 'recovery' is a tad embarrassing. Have you seen how sincere he is in the 'Not Afraid' video?! Haha. Those scenes in the dirty room look like my imaginations picture of Stan (the nutter from the 'Stan' video) listening to an Eminem song and losing his shit in his bedroom. Probably whilst Dido bangs on the door incessantly going "Staaannlleeyy. Staaannleeyy". Also, can I just look at a few of the lines in that tune:

"Cause the way I feel/I'm strong enough to go to the club/
Or a corner pub and lift the whole liquor counter up/
Cause I'm raising the bar"

See what he's done there? I can almost seeing winking in the mirror as he wrote that line, it's that damn clever.

I haven't listened to that much new stuff recently in truth. I like that Wild Nothing record, 'Gemini', mainly because I can't believe it wasn't made in Manchester. I'm back all obsessive on Mobb Deep's 'The Infamous' too. Predictable I know but these guys were 21/22 when they made that record. That's ridiculous.

"Now take these words home and think it through/Or the next rhyme I write might be about you."



Straight outta Manchester Virginia...