Thursday, 20 August 2009

Care about.

1. Jay -Z - The Blueprint 3
This is going to be dope, wack, fresh, sick, cool, rad and all *that*. We've got the front cover and the tracklist (see above and below - taken from now. There's an awful lot of features on it including Jeezy, Alicia Keys, Cudi and Luke Steele (WTF). Thankfully, Kanye managed to muster up a small amount of ownage on Jay (no homo!) with his verse on 'Run This Town' and here's to all the guest spots being as good as that one. Ye owed him for showing him up on that sick 'Diamonds From Sierra Leone' remix. He's a business, mannnn. Yeah. that one.

Jay-Z is pretty much the man everyone wants to be. What I know of his life (yes, he's got more than 98 problems but still) sounds pretty cool and I reckon I could handle it. I could deal with the rap game, Beyonce being a crazy bitch and talking about how things would be different if she was a boy, the clothes line, the Mets, being tight with Barack - all of it. With all that said, he might actually be putting it all on for the camera. Maybe he spends most of his time watching shopping channels in his underwear whilst eating mini versions of popular ice creams. Wait! That sounds like a really good way to get over that savage Swine Flu. I know, I know.

"Only rapper to rewrite history without a pen..."

Jay-Z - D.O.A. (Death of Autotune)

2. The XMI X-mini II Speaker

I think I might be way behind on this little rogue but mannnn this thing
is crazy cool. Essential details - it's a portable speaker (w/a tidily concealed inbuilt 3.5mm audio connection cable) that you nerds can plug into your Sony Walkman or whatever you use. It's really small, about the size of a 15 month old (approximate guess) baby fist. It charges from a USB connection in about two hours and a full charge lasts for eleven hours, allegedly. I fully intend to find out by listening to a white noise audio track that lasts exactly eleven hours this evening/tomorrrow early morning.

To get this thing cranked you gotta turn the two halves away from each other to reveal a little valve (see below) which, for want of a better term, is really really really cute. It's like a little techno kitten. Hello Kitty I suppose.
These guys have gotta get more marketing game. These things could (and probably should) be massive. This is not a paid advertisement, promise.

Yeah, The key thing about the X Mini II is that it is loud. It's really loud actually. I had 'A Milli' on when I was in the shower earlier and the bass was so on that the little thing was jumping around each time Bangladesh had that thing banging. It was kinda poetic really. I almost felt that through the song and the movement of the speaker, Lil Wayne and I were having a little conversation. It's the closest I've ever felt to Wayne and what with me being a naked little geek in my shower and him being a rap superstar, probably the closest I ever will be (no homo). This thing is like £17 over at amazon. G g g get it bought. What's seventeen pounds? An emotional Will Smith add a tenner, that's what it is.

3. Curb Your Enthusiasm Season 7

I don't know when this will (if at all) air over here in the UK but CYE is one of those programmes that I always forget how much I love until I watch an episode. HBO have posted a few teasers of season 7 on youtube and I'm now officially psyched. That's the word people use isn't it? 'Psyched?' Whatever. Larry David has just got a funny little face hasn't he. He's a bit like a flamingo or something. I can't look at those guys without literally LMAOing. I also cannot believe that these damned fingers just typed LMAO either. Goddamn. On second thoughts though I just remembered the line "I'm on my way to the bank, L M A O..." and Lil Wayne said that and if it's good enough for him...

ANYWAY, yeah. The clip is below but head over to youtube because they've got a fair few over there. Whilst you're there I guarantee that you'll end up looking at about a dozen other old Curb fave moments. "President of hittin' that ass...", Larry doing his cameo for Scorcese, calling the phone directory for Krazee Eyez Killa's number. You know how I roll. If you're me, however, it's far easier to just leave the house and find yourself in your very own Curb Your Enthuasiasm moment. 50% of everything I say is apologies, the other half is a mix of swear words, gutteral sounds and trying to talk like I'm Omar from The Wire. Ya feel me?

EDIT: WTF is up with Marty Funkhouser's voice. He sounds like if you cut his chest open it'd just be one big mess of wires, bolts and LED lights. Marty 5 is Alive! I'd photoshop his face on Johnny 5 from 'Short Circuit' if I could but I can't. Other things I can't do include wiring a plug, back flips and being nice to people on Facebook.

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