Sunday, 6 June 2010

The Millennium Bug Let Me Down.

A bug with its legs dipped in ink crawling across a page and making more sense than me, yesterday.

So, I had a virus last week. Belie dat? A proper full blown virus this time too. I couldn't open any programs, I grew very accustomed to blank blue screens and my CDs kept ejecting from the computer at will. It was terrible. In all honesty, I didn't know what to do. I mean my first plan of action consisted of opening Google on another computer and typing 'virus' into the search field ffs. That didn't help at all by the way and I'm sort of surprised that typing that in didn't ensure that the other computer contracted a virus in itself. I can just imagine some idiot nerds hackers somewhere somehow watching what everyone on the internet is doing and thinking "Hey. Check this guy out searching 'virus' on Google. Wouldn't it just like totally own if we sent him a virus whilst he was trying to sort another virus out?! Major lol. It'd be like almost postmodern man."

Being 'offline' was pretty cool in a way. I rediscovered the joys of erm.. actually leaving the house once in a while. Y'know just talking to my fellow man about the world and what's going on and stuff. All joyous stuff of course. People killing people, a massive oil slick ruining the Gulf coast and whether Cheryl Cole is going out with or not. Good news for people who love bad news.

There isn't really an aim to this post, I'm sure you've noticed. I've been listening to a lot of music lately, as always. Most recent purchases being the two albums below:

True love doesn't cast out viruses, regrettably.

Bang goes the RSPCA bustin' down the door.

I didn't just buy the Erickson album because I'm a pathetic Okkervil River fanboy. Oh no. Okay, I sort of did. I listened to it a couple of times on Spotify and first impressions are very good. It's not exactly a system up with the top down summer album. It seems very world weary and tired, in all the best ways. Whilst the Divine Comedy record I expect to be fresh, funny and very clever. Why? because Divine Comedy albums are always that way and it's criminal how few people care about them. I'll let you know in full what these albums are like soon, barring any unexpected viruses of course.

Just before I go and whilst we're on the subject: how on earth did the millennium bug work (or not work)? Wasn't it something about how computer calendars could deal with the dates being in a xx-xx-19xx format but once they ticked over at 23:59:59 on 31/12/99 they were going to just completely lose their minds and implode. This would of course mean the end of the internet which is obviously another way of saying it would be the end of the world. Maybe I'm alone in thinking this but I was a bit dissapointed to wake up on 01/01/00 and find that firstly, I was not dead and secondly, that my computer worked as always and there wasn't a bug in sight. So yeah, you sucked millennium bug and you didn't do your job in any way. You were meant to bring doom, instead you brought a slight bit of worry and confusion and that's about it. Get outta my sight.

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