Eels - End Times

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Noah ain't been the same since he moved to LA and started watching too much cable.

When Eels released that last effort 'Hombre Lobo', I contemplated giving up on them. The lead single really dissapointed me more than anything. I expected big things but when I heard that 'Fresh Blood' song all I really thought was "...dat it?!" Same kinda thing each morning when (after a night of hard praying that I get snowed in) I awake to see that there isn't feet upon feet of snow outside but instead only about five snowflakes and a few drops of pissy rain have fallen overnight and that yep, you gotta go to work homeboy. Dat It?!

To me 'Hombre Lobo' sounded like a half baked 'Souljacker' more often than not and that album wasn't exactly king milkshake. Still, in my efforts to never actually get my life together and buy good things that last and improve your life, I've again reverted to buying more CDs than all the CD factories can make (burn? Whatever.). So, yeah, I really loved Eels once so I bought 'End Times' the other day.

I'm really liking it too. Perhaps it doesn't warrant it's own blog post but I think it's the nostalgia getting to me. If you know Eels, you'll know what themes this album will cover and E still sounds like he always has but there's some lovely little songs on this record. The fun little stomp of 'Paradise Blues' has got a lot of plays in my car this week which ain't blue nor no paradise and 'In My Younger Days' is resonating a little too strongly with my impending birthday on the way like a jail on wheels. This is a well crafted record that corresponds well with some of the quieter (and best) moments of 'Blinking Lights...' and sounds a lot like a band who are comfortable with with who they are and how they sound. Those things, of course, are the only things they are comfortable with mind. Don't even mention girls, love or friends. Hell, don't even talk about leaving the damn house sometimes with these guys.

"She locked herself in the bathroom again/So I am pissing in the yard"
- Eels - 'A Line In the Dirt'

The scene of a urine incident, yesterday.

All those moons ago I pored over those 'Beautiful Freak' liner notes that read '"One day the world will be ready for you and wonder how they didn't see." Well, when it comes to this record, people have grown up, grown apart. The world did notice you know, it just didn't care a whole lot.

10 Years Is a Long Time If You're Countin' The Days

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MMD II: 10 Years Is a Long Time If You're Countin' The Days

So 2010 has arrived with a whole load of snow. Ya heard? You've probably noticed that various television channels are providing pretty much constant updates on the weather by now. It's got to the point where seeing a car helplessly wheelspinning on ice and/or an old granny saying she's "..never seen anything like this in all her x years," is getting a little tiresome. Still, 2010 is here! We enter the 'tens'! Together, we all enter a new decade and we ignore the people calling this year "twenty ten" in the same way we ignored those that for the past ten years spoke of the "noughties". Don't even dare to say "naughty noughties" to me and expect me to do anything but curse your name, run to the hills and never socialise with another human again. That phrase is that hideous.

An end of decade review without a single review? Yes, we can.

It was a strange decade that last one wasn't it. For all that was good about these past ten years (and there were some really great things going down), there was plenty of the opposite too. Lots of insecurity and lots of intangible fear but with all things considered, one thing we can agree on is that there were many things to make 01/01/00 to 31/12/09 just, well, memorable. Rarely has so much happened in one decade that will largely act to influence the shape of the decade to follow. Still, this ain't no political commentary thang I got here, this right here is about the music maaaaaaannnn.

Yeah, pretty memorable.

The music of that decade then, how was it? Good, I think. How could I review this decision you ask? Well, I could've reviewed my favourite albums of the decade and all that. Yes. I could've posted a certain number each week throughout December and it could've been like a little countdown. I could've done that too. I am starting to feel a bit bad for not doing this, by the way. However, I left things late as always and if I'm honest with you, I saw little point in it. I mean, I write about what? Indie rock and hip hop pretty much. These things are discussed as much as the goddamn weather ffs. Would there really be any *shocks* in my list?! "Yeah wow! I really dug that Antony & The Johnsons album too!" "Can't believe you thought 'Hell Hath No Fury' was white hot! Totally agree man."

Depressing how this would be called 'retro' now. The pros of iPods (listen to your music whilst walking about) still marginally outweigh the cons (simply apple fanboys).

Instead I've decided to make a playlist. I'm aware this looks like a cop out but I think it's a better idea. I sort of wanted a good playlist to listen to (not mentioning what fun it was making it) and with Spotify being so good for sharing, you can have it too. So I sat down and hammered out my 100 favourite songs of the last decade* and I'm pretty pleased with the results. Sure, there's a lot of obvious picks on there but what can a man do? NOT choose 'What You Know' , 'Crazy In Love' or 'The Rat'?! Getouttahere.

Not my banner, funnily enough. People that know me please note: Upon my death, please use a good photo in any subsequent internet RIP banners yeah?

I tried to only use one band or artist once. I sneakily crept around this self made rule to include some songs I wanted to so yes, Big Boi is on there as are OutKast etc. I suggest that if you've got any issues with this then take them up with Big Boi.

"Go back to the internet, nerd."

Some personal highlights of mine:

- The delivery of "The plan is to put the rap game in the choke hoollddd" from 'In Da Club'.

- The two little synth claps before Pimp C's verse on 'International Players Anthem...'.

- That mental little squiggle after "No matter where we are/We're always touching by
underground wires..." from Of Montreal's 'The Past Is a Grotesque Animal'.

- 1:22 into 'John Wayne Gacy, Jr' by Sufjan Stevens. Shit is chilling.

- The much mentioned but still golden "Forever, forever, ever, forever, ever?" from 'Ms Jackson'. Coincidentally, this line of Andre's is taken from my favourite hip-hop verse of the decade. Just inspired.

- The closing verse of Okkervil's 'A Stone'. Just listen to it man.

- How Tom Waits has written a song about the Israeli–Palestinian conflict (not easy) and it is as good lyrically as 'Road To Peace' (majorly not easy.)

- The segue between cassette recording and the actual song on 'Someday I Will Treat You Good' by Sparklehorse.

- That spoken word intro on 'Ignition (remix)'. He doesn't usually do this, ya know.

I could go on forever. These are a good bunch. Take a listen. Happy New Year.

*That are on Spotify. There are some complete beauties that aren't on there. I could do another 100 on what isn't actually. If it's like properly good and it isn't in my list, it ain't on spotify brother.

Dinotour : Modest Mouse - The Ritz, Manchester - 13.12.09

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"That's what we're waiting for, that's what we're waiting for, that's what we're waiting for aren't we?"

That's a couple of lines from 'Little Motel' by Modest Mouse. I was going to run that into some amusing chatter about how its taken me ages to write this review but it always takes me ages so I sort of think why keep apologising. You expect the review to be late and I'm not really that sincere with the apology anyway.? To keep things topical, ya really think it makes any difference to Tiger Woods' wife when he apologises yet again after ohidontknow the 26th woman comes out of the woodwork? Exactly.

A liar and apologist, yesterday. I bet his name isn't even really Tiger.

So, when I attended this show it was still summer and Christmas seemed so far away it looked like a melting ice cap but time, as is its wont, rolled on and here we are, 22nd December and no review written. I'll do my best. Frightened Rabbit supported which (and no disrespect to support bands, everyone has to start somewhere etc.) made a really welcome change because I both have heard of Frightened Rabbit and more importantly, quite like them. For these reasons and these reasons only, we got to the show on time. People had been queueing for a while even before then which sort of amused me because, well, why bother? It's the curse of this country, the queue. You could hand out STDs or gypsie curses and these fools'd be there queueing their little asses off for hours. I guarantee it.

Frightened Rabbit. New song 'Swim Until You Can't See Land' assumes an unfair amount of athletic prowess of the song's protagonist in my view.

Frightened Rabbit looked and sounded like they were really enjoying themselves. The drummer in the photo there was a true drummer. Bit mad but just fully immersed in what he was doing. He was sporting a 'Where The Wild Things Are' t shirt which not only did he not buy from Urban Outfitters but he actually obtained from the ..Wild Things island where they actually live. Apparently he had to fight off the one with the perversely long nose for it so yeah, he was actually wild to give him his due. FR mainly stuck to material from breakthrough 'The Midnight Organ Flight' and were warmly received by the crowd which I was pleased with. I really want to cry when support bands roll on to the stage and play to a crowd of people that are still talking amongst themselves about last weeks X Factor or whatever. I wonder if people at the X Factor shows talk about recent Frightened Rabbit news. New single 'Swim Until You Can't See Land' sounded instantly recognisable and I've only heard it a couple of times. It's very Snow Patrol actually *ducks*, I think it'll do well for the band.

After FR, it was time to wait. We waited like Penelope did for Odysseus in The Iliad and then some. Let me just briefly put that in perspective for you, Odysseus left his wife and embarked on his incredible voyage which took him away from home for ten years. My legs felt like anvils, I had about ten toilet breaks and by the time Modest Mouse hit the stage, I was more than ready. Ripe teetering on going off, that was me. The band were met with a raptourous welcome. They've got one of those fanbases you see. Super keen guys that care big time about selling out and setlists and band related tattoos. Yes, I'm stereotyping. Kicking off with 'The Whale Song' from this year's 'No One's First and You're Next' they found their groove pretty rapidly. After a punchy run through of 'Paper Thin Walls' Isaac Brock informed the crowd that he had a sore throat and that singing was a pain for him. He didn't really need to say that because he sounded great to my ears and some of the songs he would later perform in the night are harsh on the vocals to say the least ("THIS PLANE IS DEFINITELY CRASHING!"). General life tip here: Unless someone confronts you angrily and violently about something, don't own up to anything until you really need to. I pushed the emergency stop button on an escalator in Marks & Spencer when I was about 6 and when I was pushed by the store manager all I did was point vaguely Northwards and say "He did it." I was off scot free like OJ up in that mother mayne.

Modest Mouse in background. Someone with a woollen beanie on INDOORS in foreground. Sigh.

The crowd were pretty packed in and probably evenly split between "older material" fans and post 'Moon and/Good News....' fans. I'm sort of in both camps (although my coolness also transcends both obv.) because although I've known of the band for a fair while, I probably actually prefer those newer records. I know I'm not meant to say that, I know but that's the rub of the green. This considered, the song selection was perfect. 'Bukowski', 'Gravity Rides Everything', 'Missed The Boat' and 'Dramamine' would actually feature in my dream setlist so for that, I was pretty pleased.

Totally siiiiiiiccckk.

The band interacted with the crowd a fair bit more than I expected which I like when it is done well. I mean, it gets to me when you get the feeling that you're putting the band out by buying tickets and travelling miles to watch them do their thing so to see the band enjoy themselves was a welcome sight. The amount of times I've watched bands (and bought dreadful merchandise I'll never wear/use) and they've looked downright miserable as sin, God, you wouldn't believe. Yo! Interpol! How yo' doin?! Isaac, in particular, seemed in good spirits and I think that was partly down to playing to a really responsive crowd and also because their last gigs would've been in a damn Butlins at ATP to (probably) a load of thirtysomethings with unkempt beards and penchants for cardigans and playing scrabble. Hell an audience with various unsavoury despots and the WI would seem a scream after that lot. Much love ATP. Talking of, I saw this band there once and was pretty dissapointed/admittedly hungover. The two drumkit thing worked great in the Manchester Ritz in contrast to that floaty 'arena' they have at ATP. Really loud, sounded proper punctual.

Again, I promise this who I say it is. It's Isaac Brock. Not Captain Pugwash.

'Spitting Venom' closed proceedings in all its glory and my God it was long. Must've been about 15 minutes by the time they wound that up with mouths open and venom splattered all over the front row. The crowd then had this novel idea of how to force the band to keep playing *after* they had left the stage...they just kept clapping and you will never guess what? The band actually came back out! Unbelievable. Pleased I hung around for this event (an orn call? Orrncore? New to me) as we were treated to 'The Waydown', 'Float On' and 'Doin' The Cockroach' which, let's be honest, is a pretty good run. Wish they played 'Little Motel' always gets me feeling all wistful and in the mood to drive to Mexico. I've never worked out why. Beautiful song.

Before I go, gotta give a shout out to the crowd. Lot of dickheads. I hate saying that because y'know, there was some alright folk too but people were crowdsuring during 'Missed The Boat' and some other guy I overheard talking about "It's sometimes hard to truly appreciate the dynamics and logistics of the old Modest Mouse setup." Like, what does that even mean?! Guy should be working in office management with lines like that to just throw down without any forewarning. Seems the band weren't the only people 'Spitting Venom'. See what I did there etc.

10 points for the nerdlinger trying to take a photo with a wingmirror. Snigger.

All in all, a strong show I'm pleased I made the journey for. 450 miles no less that was. I'm pretty sure if I added up all the miles I've clocked up following small to medium size alternative bands around the globe I could drive to the planet Avatar* is set in by now.





*Not seen it. Know little about it. If the film is set in Finland or something I'm going to look stoopid. These are the risks I take. This is my life.

Dinotour : The Antlers - Bristol - 29.11.09

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Yes that does say 29th November up there. I haven't written this review up during the week because I've been busy. I'm not making apologies. It's been a good week actually. "How?" you ask. Well, I don't like to brag but I've been doing my bit in the community for the last few days. Giving a little summin back y'know. I spent a couple of lunches with the old guys in the residential home at the start of the week just talking to them and running little errands that they can't do so easily anymore. Wednesday I was at the primary school helping those little cats with their reading. Boy, they've come a long way since last week the little blighters. I topped up this beautiful week of sharing and giving by doing a bit of weeding on a couple of local roundabouts. It's really important we take care of our community isn't it, after all, we're all in this together.

Yeah, this is all bullshit. I ain't been doin' nutin. In fact, the only thing I've been doing is actively avoiding writing up this review. I can't even remember the gig. It was that long ago. In fact, I was going to walk out on this blog like a disgruntled and disenchanted father might on his family but then I played 'Izzo (H.O.V.A)' four times in a row and before I knew it I had my damn hands up and was logging on to this bitch. "Can't leave blogs alone the web needs me."


Anyway...

A while ago I posted a poorly written entry about 'Hospice' by The Antlers in which I probably said how it was the best album of all time and that I was selling all my other CDs or something reactionary like that. Time usually changes opinions, that's just the way things are. I don't think I utterly detested Dannii Minogue two years ago, for example. Still, 'Hospice' is a very special record and whatever I said about it a few posts back, I probably more than stand by. It really is incredible. Over the course of it's ten tracks you really start to feel how intensely personal it is. It sounds strange to say but on occasion you almost feel like your prying by simply listening to it. It demands attention and once its got you, it doesn't let go until that last second of Epilogue is done. And when it is, where are you left? In your hospital bed when its very quiet and your heads spinning because all your visitors have now left and you feel very alone.

Peter Silberman. "Letting people in..." apparently. Get him. Captain social.

Still, the gig. It was at a little place called the Louisiana in Bristol. We got there early and the band were enjoying a pre show carvery. Bit of a WTF moment but what can I say? Sure beats hospital food. Arf! Forgive me for this but I can't recall the name of the support. Something about hills (not Lauren Conrad et al). The Downhills perhaps? Either way, they were aight. Sounded a bit like Editors and yes I know that Editors are copyists of all and sundry, "...sounded a bit like Editors" is not really a compliment anyway. The band arrived at 2130 sharp (oh fascinating ! thanks for including the little details MMD. Bores) and launched straight into
'Prologue' which is all Kid A swells and twinkles and I was already thinking "That sounds a lot better than I thought it would."

They continued to play 'Hospice' in track order which I thought was a nice touch. It's such a cohesive record as one statement that doing it any other way would be foolish. The songs segued into one another beautifully which is a big compliment to Darby Cicci who was manning all those little Korg machines that no one knows how to operate. 'Keys 'n Synths 'n Shit' I often refer to them as. Peter Silberman's voice sat beautifully layered within the songs, rising and falling with the tumbles of the music. Michael Lerner's drumming was really well measured. I'm not a drummer but like with actors, I think I know when I see a really good or bad one. Lerner drums to precision only adding what he needs to. It's a difficult skill to master but when you're performing songs like these, it's absolutely crucial. Colour me very impressed with him basically.. I was going to make a stupid point back then about him being a machine you can rely on and comparing him to a jumbo jet but then I realised I only trust planes as far as I could throw 'em (not far) and I'm utterly convinced I'll die on one. Probably in economy class too to add insult to injur...grizzly death.

Yes. Rubbish photos again. I know. I had to use my phone FFS. Next time I'm just going to do sketches like they do in court. Mine will be of musicians though, not murderers and burglars.

I posted 'Two' on here a while ago and as lead single, it was this song that got the biggest cheer of the night. The fantastically frantic second half of the song was reproduced so well. I could've watched it all night in all honesty. It remains the best Arcade Fire song that those nerds never wrote for me. By this point even the dullards chatting by the bar had worked out that the setlist corresponded to the album tracklist but more importantly, with 'Two' being track seven, we were nearing the end of the gig. I was really excited to hear 'Wake' as its breathtaking on record and again, I wasn't dissapointed. The 'in' on that "...letting people innnnnnnnnnnnnnn" line is so stunning that I knew they wouldn't be able to completely carry it off live but they had a good stab at it. If you don't know what I'm talking about, listen to 'Wake' immediately. It's just over four minutes in. I know because I checked when listening to it in bed the other night. Hairs on my neck all pricked up and tears streaming down my face like I was in Pokemon. It's second only to the "Oh my Gooooooooddddddd" line in Sufjan's 'John Wayne Gacy Jr' in the world-stops-for-a-moment stakes. If you haven't heard THAT then you're an idiot that should be in prison.

Sufjan Stevens - John Wayne Gacy Jr.



As a new band that have just released their first proper album, material was a bit thin on the ground. The band were in and out in an hour a bit like erm...a film that needs to be developed. I really welcome this approach because although I'm nails and could beat anyone up in a fight up to and including Van Damme, I get a bit tired stood at gigs sometimes, regardless of who is playing and how good/bad they are. I think its my attention span thats to blame.. I reckon I've got attention deficit disorder actually. By that I mean the"BLAHBLAHLOOKATMEPUTTINGAPENCILUPMYNOSEANDDOINGACARTWHEEL" sort and not the album by Wale because you can't get the latter for love nor money. I'm pretty sure that Wale posts more tweets in a day on his twitter than there are people in the world who have a copy of 'Attention Deficit"

In conclusion, a truly memorable show from a band I predict great things for. Where they'll go after 'Hospice' I really don't know but I can guarantee you it'll be better than home help with a disinterested nurse.

The Antlers - Kettering

Hammer's 'Gon Be The Death 'O Me Lawd Lawd

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Phonetics up there son. Yeah, I can do them too.

Yeah, anyway. It's a Sunday night, 2138 GMT. I, along with millions of others, am dreading going to work tomorrow. Work, work, work. Why do you make me do things against my will huh work?! Who are you and why do y'all get off being the great oppressor? Why can't I do something fun tomorrow? A massive slide? A hot air balloon? Loads and loads of alcoholic drinks in bathtubs? Huh?! NO not for you MMD, it's hey ho hey ho, off to work you (begrudingly) go.

One of the dwarfs on his way to work. Naturally, he's completely hammered in a vain attempt to mask the bone crushing monotony that a work day presents.

Aside from these ridiculous thoughts above, I've also been thinking that I should get an ultra manual job in rural USA. y'know. Give me a reason to really relate to this life I've created in my brain that doesn't actually resemble my actual life in any way at all. Working on the railway lines, drinkin' moonshine, Hank Williams, All dat. Live the cliches.

Essentially, I want to be John Henry swingin' them 30 pounds from his hips on down. In reality, I'm a spotty blogger with nothin' but a toffee hammer.

Dems the breaks...


"The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one." - Oscar Wilde

Yeah Oscar, I'm imagining real hard brother. It looks a lot like 'Call of Duty', Sushi in underpants and waking up naturally with the 3pm church bell. In other words, it looks pretty pretty on.

Frankly Ridiculous Clip From Forthcoming Lil Wayne Documentary 'The Carter'.

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When I saw this video over at Nah Right I thought it might be interesting. Of course it would be. What would someone like Lil Wayne have in his Louis (obv.) briefcase? Guns no doubzzzzzz

Well, the correct answer is below...

- A book on naked women.
- A bottle of vitamin water...or so we thought! it's actually 'sizzurp' in a vitamin water bottle.
- A MASSIVE BUNDLE OF CASH BIGGER THAN ANYTHING I WILL EVER EARN DURING THE DURATION OF MY MISERABLE LITTLE LIFE.

Now, I'm not saying Wayne is predictable or cliche. Actually I am saying exactly that. It's like me opening my Louis Vuitton briefcase plastic bag I carry around to reveal its contents and them being a book entitled '1001 ways to tell everyone you know how you can't be bothered to go to work', a creepily cutout photo of Nick Cave/a dinosaur and a bag of crispy M&Ms. Predictable is the point I'm trying to make here guys. Look It's Sunday night okay? I've got to go to work tomorrow and I have a very small bank balance. Cut me some slack.

Yes bores, before you say it, I'm aware of people putting things on for the cameras. I've seen wrestling and 'The Hills' too.

Dinotour: Morrissey - Salisbury - 02/11/09

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Firstly, I didn't take the above photo nor is it from the show in Salisbury. I hate to state the obvious but sometimes people are a bit dim. I would've used one of my photos for this header but you haven't seen them thangs yet, more about that later. Yeah, they bad man. They bad.

I was due to see Morrissey live and in person the week before this show in Bournemouth but he cancelled after collapsing onstage in Swindon during 'This Charming Man'. Now, as it happens, I was born in Swindon. I make no apologies for this but by the same token, it's not exactly beautiful. It looks like a Smiths song in fact, "...Rain falls down on a humdrum town.." indeed. Thankfully the Swindon collapse wasn't a Tommy Cooper job and the man was back on his grind hustlin' within a week. After a trouble free London show at the Royal Albert Hall, Morrissey rolled up to Salisbury for a show which I'm sure he just couldn't wait to play. Almost as much as I couldn't wait to write up this review that I've been putting off by just generally doing other things since the show. These things include Xbox, cutting my nails and trying to get the light switch perfectly stuck between off and on so the lights flicker.

My Morrissey ticket in foreground. Hilarious photo of T-Rex tribute band in background.

As always, my disorganisation meant that we didn't actually have tickets so we had to source them from somewhere. Cue the Morrissey fan forum which is definitely not full of obsessive fans that listen to nothing but The Smiths, Morrissey and bands covering songs by either The Smiths or Morrissey. Great place actually. I set up a 'username', picked an 'avatar' read some 'threads', sent some people a couple of 'PMs' and that was it. Two tickets to the gun show baby! By gun show I mean 'Morrissey Gig' and I also apologise wholeheartedly for using the phrase "Two tickets to the gun show."

A friend of MMD was so upset about Hard-Fi simply existing he decided to get a drink to numb the pain. Guess what?! Bastards have spoilt alcohol too! When will they stop?! Tune in next week when the Hard Fi guys spend a day pricking holes in condoms and dropping atomic bombs on poor African countries.

The venue was of perfect size I thought. It was a bit light (as in torches and lightbulbs) when the support, Doll & The Kicks, were playing and I couldn't help but think of a school talent show in a gym. You know the drill. Five little girls do a spice girls routine, angsty teenage boys cover a Foo Fighters song or summat. I had plenty of space but in front of me I had a man I affectionately could only refer to as Mr Kilimanjaro. Simply because he was as big and cold as hard rock. Safe to say I had to struggle to get a view of our main man through a gap under MK's armpit or through his legs as and when the chance arose. When it comes to man mountains in my vicinity at gigs, I'm like a moth and lightbulb tale and I've never worked out why. Think it's just people being surefire spiteful bastards.

Mount Kilimangiro. The six phonebooks and two ladders I was using to get this photo out of shot

Right, an actual review. The setlist was peppered with the Smiths songs you'd expect him to play and make no mistake, most people are there for Smiths songs. 'This Charming Man' has had a bit of a reworking which I kinda disagree with. It's all a bit power chordy now. Regrettably, it now sounds a bit like a semi decent cover of 'This Charming Man' as performed by ohidontknow The All American Rejects? 'Cemetary Gates' was fantastic, absolutely fantastic. I had to apologise to those around me for getting a bit too involved in the singalong. There really always is someone, somewhere with a big nose who knows how to ruin everything so it particularly resonated. 'Irish Blood, English Heart' chugged along brilliantly sneering at every corner whilst 'Why Don't You Find Out For Yourself' was met passionately by the crowd syllable by syllable. It seems this setlist has been doing the rounds for a while now but I think it plays to the band's strengths pretty well whilst still pleasing most crowds. There's a few they can rip through. There's some easy singalongs to fall back on regardless of venue. Even a couple of b-sides from 'Swords' for the 'Morrissey Forum' guys. There's no 'Now My Heart Is Full'. Wait, that last one isn't a good thing at all.

Camera was so toilet I actually started taking photos of Kilimangiro taking photos of Morrissey. Kinda post modern, more pathetic.

At some point during 'I'm Throwing My Arms Around Paris' I gave up taking photos because they were looking truly dreadful (see above). It's my camera. It's a bad workman blaming his tools. Either way, half the photos could be of anyone. A blurry face that could be Morrissey or y'know anyone else on the planet. " Yeah, perhaps. Like maybe it's Morrissey, I mean it's definitely a man.. Actually, it could be Che Guevara; Is it? Oh, and that person on the drums looks familiar? Is that Mel B?! Shit. weird pairing but wait....a dragon playing bass?!" You get the picture. Actually when it comes to the picture, you really don't get it. Geddit.

Morrissey or Casper the Friendly Ghost post puberty. YOU DECIDE.

God. I really haven't written anything about the actual show have I? a blog by its very nature is self obsessed and self indulgent though right?! I don't know. This is a hard review to write. Seeing someone like Morrissey is a funny thing in a way. I felt similar when I saw The Stones and Dylan. Without wanting to sound like a student idiot, these are genuine 'legends'. Cornerstones of popular music even. Still, they are only mortals. They age and everything. Belie dat? What I'm trying to say is that it's hard to judge them on merit of a single night or a new album. Bloke was in The Smiths knowhaimsayin?

My best photo. No I'm not joking. Do I have a joking face? Do I look like a clown to you? [/Joe Pesci in Goodfellas]

Still, I enjoyed the show. Truly I did. I really pray that Morrissey did too. Sometimes you wonder if he genuinely enjoys singing these old songs in front of these people (and there were some funny looking buggers in the crowd) anymore. It's been a tough tour and as I'm writing this the internet is awash with videos like this one from Stereogum showing Morrissey being struck with a bottle at the Liverpool show at the weekend. Heavens above. Just when you thought this tour might be getting back on track and then bang! November goes and spawns a monster. In Liverpool too! That's only down the motorway. Barbarism Begins at Home!

I'm now solely writing in song puns. I swore this would never happen. I'm a pastiche. I'm past it. I'm out.

P.S The Antlers - Hospice. It's the album of the year folks.