"I Was Perfect."

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Swan Lake was composed in 1875-1876 and is still being run today. D'ya reckon 'We Will Rock You' will still be going in 136 years?

I've been pretty stressed recently. Incredibly stressed actually. It's nothing to do with my family, my love life or my health. I haven't moved house nor has my car broken down. It's worse than all of that. Yes, I've got a new laptop and I've had to reinstall and reorder iTunes. If you've done this, you know exactly what kind of trick I'm on. I've got albums with missing tracks, misspelt band names and don't even get me started on album artwork. iShambles.

So an Apple program a day keeps nothing at bay aside from satisfaction and fulfillment then. That's what I've learnt. Things threatened to get too much yesterday when I actually typed 'how much does it cost to have someone do your itunes for you' into google. I'd really hit the wall. In my frustration, I got out of the house and went to see 'Black Swan'. That being Darren Aranofsky's new 'psychosexual thriller' starring Natalie Portman as the newly cast Queen Swan in a performance of 'Swan Lake'. Safe to say, things don't exactly go to plan. Nina (Portman) struggles to come to the terms with the physical and mental demans of such a high profile role. She starts to find that her truest enemy resides in the mirror and as opening night approaches, her life starts to unravel and mirror the tragic tale that 'Swan Lake' has been telling for such a long time now.

I don't really want to say too much and spoil a film that truly has you sitting on the knife edge of your seat but man, it's quite a ride. At the film's core is a contradiction that I should think mystifies many performance artists and people of that sort of disposition - how do you keep precise control of your body whilst simultaneously letting go and giving yourself to a character, an idea, an audience? It's a tough one but Portman is fantastic in a lead role that, much like the one she portrays in the ballet production, is incredibly demanding. 'Black Swan' is one of those films where you think that something or someone truly horrid is waiting around every corner. My mood flitted between tense, mega tense and Mr Tense of Mount Tenseington St essentially. It's a film you have to see at the cinema too so please put your torrents to rest for an evening you freeloading nerds. I really urge you to watch this film at the cinema, just don't see it as a first date. Chicks on first dates ain't quite as down with psychosexual thrillers as you probably imagine.

Also, I only found out after the film that one of the characters is played by Winona Ryder. I can't decide if this passed me by because she looks really different now or whether it's just that I don't recognise her if she isn't on the arm of an indie rocker or another. Can I also take this opportunity to inform you that apparently Mila Kunis use to spend nights playing World of Warcraft for hours and hours when she was dating Macaulay Culkin. Just sat next to each other on different computers. Playing World of Warcraft. For ages. That's what they did.

"Shall we have the LAN party at yours or mine?"

Yeah, I'm trying to work out what's worse between playing WoW or dating Macaulay Culkin too. Answers on a postcard to the usual address. Also, if you know how much money Macaulay has I'd like to know that too. A few films decades ago and being MJ's boyfriend doesn't pay that well, does it?

"Keep me in the loop."

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"Do you smoke?"..."Yeah I do. I smoke seriously. I'm a serious smoker."

People say that a lot, don't they? "Keep me in the loop on that." Normally it's those lucky souls that spend the majority of their weeks in artificially lit offices severely lacking in upbeat demeanours and inspiration. I'm sure you'll know what I mean there. "Keep me in the loop on that printer cartridge situation man! That's some important shit." That kinda thing. I myself am rarely 'in the loop'. My most common response in professional circles being "Umm. What?" It's a wonder I don't work in McDonald's. If they let you put your own music on whilst you worked and said you could just not turn up for, let's say, 20% of your shifts I would you know. I really would. Careers are overrated. In fact, you often read about cars careering off the road and those stories never end well, do they? Example here over at the Daily Heil. Four houses! Madhouse!

I did have a point here, I promise. Being in the loop with your favourite artists latest moves. That was it. It's strange because there's a fair few people I have, at various times of my life, completely loved yet now I sit here not knowing what their past three albums have sounded like. It's a strange thing. Maybe there's a simple answer. Maybe it's time. You can only listen to so many things can't you? I mean, unless you're doing that 'Zaireeka' experiment and if you're doing that you definitely do a have a problem with old Father Time son. That being that you have FAR too much of it, of course. Tastes change too, obviously. 1. I don't obsess over Ryan Adams like I once did. 2. I don't actually mind capers anymore whereas there once was a time I would've willingly marched myself to Guantanamo Bay before I'd eat one of those salty wonders.

Why am I rambling on about all this anyway? Rufus Wainwright is why. I ordered his new record 'All Days Are Nights: Songs For Lulu.', yesterday and I'm really looking forward to getting back in to Rufus world as it's been far too long. I'm not too sure what happened or where because I listened to both parts of that 'Want' album into my ears damn near fell off as it was an absolute peach. Since then though, I just ain't been returning Rufus's calls. I can't put my finger on why but we've just grown apart. Apart and away from each other.

Maybe it was that Judy Garland thing he did. I mean, I intend no offense and I probably should be open minded but c'mone, wasn't that album just Rufus performing, well, like proper show tunes?! Are you serious man? *shudder*.. Show tunes are not my bag at all. To me, they were born and raised in the same crib as other not-so-favourites/music I utterly despise like 'wartime songs', 'carols', 'acid house' and 'Joss Stone'. I think that record put me off for a bit and during this time Rufus just slipped off my radar. However, I read a couple of reviews of 'All Days Are Nights...' and was instantly alerted when I saw that this album is just Rufus and piano with no show tunes or camp C3PO stuff in sight. This is just Rufus with a piano singing songs about the recent loss of his mother. Sad stuff for sure and I'm pleased he seems to be dealing with that pretty well now. I've got high hopes for this one and naturally, I'll let you good people know what it's like so you can all stick it on your long list of things to download. Go on, pencil it in nerds. Just below 'World of Warcraft update patch' but just above 'Red Dwarf Series 4'. What's the worst that could happen?

Listen to this song. This is something else.

"No matter how strong/I'm gonna take you down with one little stone..."



Naturally I couldn't talk about anything being in or out of the loop without mentioning the below a little. If you haven't seen 'In The Loop' you're probably one of those people that needed counselling after watching 'Avatar' as you thought the world in that film was 'perfect' and you got all depressed coming out of the cinema and back into real life. Real life where people like the cast of 'Jersey Shore' exist and where millions upon millions of people listen to Chris Moyles every morning and enjoy it. God, now I've written it out and read that in blue and white I feel kinda low. What's your counsellor's number?