This photo is taken from the police website. It shows me stomping blissfully unaware towards a speed trap so cleverly hidden it could never be seen by human nor dinosaur eye. After I opened the letter informing me of my motor discrepancy, I cried for a medium to long time. After that, however, I got to thinking. Mainly, I got to thinking 'How?'. How did this happen? It's impossible. I saw no camera, I saw no police. Nothing. I thought about it for a while until I arrived a conclusion. The only conclusion possible. GATSO what?! Lazer camera who?! No, no, no, no, no. Squirrel with a camera up a tree my friend. That's what this was right here. Unbelievable. Look how relaxed and happy I look! Little did I know! Have they no heart?! Man, Meet Judicial System. Gimme a break.
Whatever. Here's three records I've been digging recently. They're good for winter in their own little ways. Keep the wolf from the door whatever way ya can.
1. Russian Red - I Love Your Glasses
This is a really beautiful record. Very glacial. I don't mean slow there either. It just reminds me of glaciers. Very cold sounding yet so graceful. 'I Love Your Glasses' sounds like a Mirah album if Mirah moved to Antarctica with a broken heart but enough candles to last the night. I also know absolutely nothing about Russian Red as a person which is kinda cool with music sometimes. Surely I can't be the only one who would love Joss Stone's music if she wasn't such a clowning idiot?!* 'I Love Your Glasses' sounds perfect on a bitterly cold morning when there isn't much around other than dew, mist and a journey to a job you probably don't wanna do that much. Squirrel speed traps optional.
Russian Red - Take Me Home
2. Morrissey - Vauxhall and I
I've just rediscovered 'Vauxhall and I' and man, am I pleased. I'm convinced I now like it more than 'The Smiths' and 'Strangeways...' which is saying something isn't it. 'Vauxhall and I' broods like no other Morrissey record. It's a feeling this man is just amazing at. 'Now My Heart Is Full' is not just in my top five Morrissey solo songs but also in my top five songs that Morrissey has ever been involved with. Great, great song. Other than this weird man, tell me someone alive or dead who could write lines like "Tell all of my friends, I don't have too many. Just some raincoated lover's puny brothers..." 'Vauxhall and I' is not just Morrissey's most cohesive album but his warmest too. Naturally it's about loneliness and all but I've always taken a lot of comfort from it. Consider it a cuddle from the man looking over the edge of the multistorey car park if you must. I've got both this and 'I Love Your Glasses' in my car. Warm and cold. My CD changer is basically that joke about a flask containing a choc ice and a cup of tea.
Morrissey - Now My Heart Is Full
3. Micah P. Hinson and The Gospel of Progress
I bought '...and The Gospel of Progress' in 2004 just a couple of weeks after I started dinoversity. Strange time of my life really because I often felt both young and old at the same time. This is all pretty apt when discussing Micah P. because that dichotomy is often discussed about him too. "He's got a voice and a sound beyond his tender years." They all say, the insufferable bores. Beautiful album though this that I NEVER listen to in summer. Sounds about as welcome as 'Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer' in June. Listen to 'The Day Texas Sank To The Bottom of the Sea' and try not to end up in a glassy eyed trance. In fact. don't do that. Winter's at the door. Somebody let it in.
Micah P. Hinson - Beneath The Rose
*JOKE. Repeat. A joke. I really hate Joss Stone. In every way. She might be named after a joss stick for God's sake and we all know who uses joss sticks don't we? Idiots. That's who.
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