Man, Meet Dinosaur.

Movin' on up!

2011-09-19T12:30:00.000-07:00

I've got a new address, new blog, new email, new face! I've changed everything. I don't even know who I am anymore. Seriously though, I've moved. Come and see where I'm at now @ MANMEETDINOSAUR.COM

And I Heard 'Em Say/Nothing Ever Promised Tomorrow Today

2011-08-05T12:35:00.000-07:00

Let's see if you geniuses can work this one out.

I will report back with my findings, of course. C'mon Ye. Bring out Jay or Beyonce or Chris Rock or Biggie.

Young Jurassic - Everyone's a Rapper

2011-08-03T13:53:00.000-07:00

The cover art of my first EP. Young Jurassic - 'Everyone's a Rapper'

Before I post my killer rap lyrics, I'd like to get a few disclaimers out there.

1. If my rap sounds like someone else, that's definitely intended. I've never claimed to be original.
2. If anyone reading has a cool voice and wants to record the song under my name, make millions and split the money two ways then I'm down.
3. Don't give me shit about my rap name. Shit's old. I'm talking jurassic fossilised hustle man.

Everyone's a Rapper

[VERSE 1]

Rarer than a rapper that aint ever seen scarface

Hittin harder than paralysis with no damn neckbrace

Me Ringo you Paul someone called us fuckin’ drum and bass.

I'm sweet, I'm painfu,l hang yo’self wit’ a strawberry lace

[CHORUS]

Everyone's a rapper goin' harder than the next

And everyone's a rapper chattin' money, cash, cheques

But nobody big enough to say they got a small dick

Now, errbody wanna come follow the jurassic click

[VERSE 2]

People be talking shit wasting nothing but the time

I just twist it up gin and tonic slice of lime

If you see me going crazy just say 'oh its prolly all for the rhyme'

Look at me man, just too white for a life-a crime

[CHORUS 2]

Everyone's a rapper stacking stupid big weight

And everyone's a rapper tryna love mad hate

But nobody big enough to say they live with their mom

Now, err'body run when jurassic drop a bomb

[VERSE 3]

Jurassic, Jurassic, how old are you

Check your textbook son dinosaur how we do

Jurassic, Jurassic, you the leanest thing around

Tell me 'bout it man I gots the fat girls droppin' pounds

[CHORUS 3]

Everyone's a rapper with the same old music vid

And everyone's a rapper comin' from the broke little street kid

But nobody big enough to say they used to play Perfect Dark

Now errbody wanna come 'round to see Jurassic's Park.

So, that's my rap song. Go hard or go home bitches.

Where You Been

2011-08-03T13:41:00.000-07:00

The title of that album I've posted there poses a good and valid question. Where exactly? Well, below are a few possible explanations for my latest bout of procrastination. My God, I swear it's getting worse.

1. Reddit rage comics. These bitches have me laughing approximately five times a day without fail.
2. Breaking Bad is back like it left sum'in.
3. Jay & 'Ye released a stupidly sick song. 'Otis' is everything I want from 'Watch The Throne'. Immeasurable swagger.
4. The world lost it's shit over a phone hacking scandal and the UK lost it's biggest selling toilet roll.
5. I had to go to work and shit.

Creatively though, I haven't completely seized up. I've done some paintings you'll be pleased to hear. More importantly though, I WROTE A RAP SONG. Yeah, you heard me. I was aimlessly not paying attention to the road on the way home the other day and a few lines popped into my head. Before long, I thought 'well blow me. I'm a rapping driver now!' So I raced home (for all you reading policemen - at the speed limit ;)) and scribbled my fire down.

In fact, I think this deserves it's own post....

Places I Have Never Been

2011-07-23T06:46:00.000-07:00

Here's a piece I recently wrote for The Ruckus that I thought I'd share with you all. It's my top five songs about places I've never visited. I admit - not exactly the hardest thing to write about but I did deliberately not include rap songs because that would've made it too simple even for me. Those rappers like reppin' their hoods you see and often in the titles of their songs.

Top Five Songs About Places I've Never Been To

“Write about what you know” is a phrase you’ve probably heard many times. The thing with these recycled quotes people parrot out is that sometimes, well, they don’t actually mean anything do they? I mean, seriously, no one wants to hear a song about what you really know. Let me put it this another way – let’s say you’re a college student, for example. No one really wants to hear a song about getting wasted, eating pizza and trying to get girls to take their clothes o....oh no, I apologise, I’m wrong. They actually do. It’s called ‘I Love College’ by Asher Roth.

One time ‘writing about what you know’ usually does work though is when you’re talking about places. Towns, cities, countries. They evoke memories and emotions readily and quite often, you don’t even have to have been there yourself.

1. Whiskeytown – Jacksonville Skyline

I’ve never been to Jacksonville. I don’t even want to go to Jacksonville. I know far too many good songs about Jacksonville to go there and have my preconceptions about the place and feelings about said songs shattered to a million pieces. Ryan Adams for one knows Jacksonville a lot better than I do and has written several songs (Hell, it even features in one of his album titles) about the place but none come close to ‘Jacksonville Skyline’. I’ve listened to this song so many times that I can tell you there’s a mistake after 19 seconds and you can hear a little bounce of a guitar string. Listen out for it if you’re that way inclined. I’ve grown to love that mistake and I swear there’s some sort of teenage quote about imperfections making things perfect that I could use here if I was a Goo Goo Dolls fan or something like that.

2. Bruce Springsteen – Nebraska

Yes, yes, I know what you’re thinking. “You looked at the Nebraska tracklist for a place related song title and you didn’t choose ‘Atlantic City’?!” Yeah, that’s exactly right punk. Now, I love ‘Atlantic City’, of course I do, but ’Nebraska’ sets up and starts off one of the most remarkable albums I’ve ever heard. Desolate, eerie, haunting and desperate. No, I’m not talking about my flat for once, I’m talking about an album Bruce released as the follow up to the ‘The River’ which, if you’re not aware, went platinum five times. Man’s got some big old balls, you’ve gotta give him that at least.

3. Elliott Smith - Alameda

Alameda is a street in Los Angeles that I’ve never visited so this bittersweet microcosm of all Elliott Smith is about can be fairly included in this wonderful list. A beautifully balanced song with one of those melodies that is so good you can’t help but think that when Elliott died, he took a gift with him that can’t be replicated by anyone else on our little planet.

This song also happens to feature one of Elliott’s most quoted and famous lines ‘Nobody broke your heart/you broke your own cos you can’t finish what you start’ which might be a reference to someone who has a heart attack whilst attempting to eat one of those world record sized steaks but then again, it also might not.

4. Neil Young – Philadelphia

If I make a joke about soft cheese in this write up then punch me in the face. This song was the product of Young being asked to write something for the film of the same name that starred Tom Hanks playing a gay lawyer that is unfairly dismissed for having AIDS. I would say the song is a little more cheery than that brief film synopsis but it isn’t. Put it this way, I can’t listen to it in public because it makes me get all emotional and before you know it well whaddaya know, I’m crying in the street and everyone is laughing at me.

5. The Hold Steady – Sequestered in Memphis

Okay, okay. I admit. This one is a cheat. I actually have been to Memphis so I probably shouldn’t include this one. It was absolutely awesome by the way. If you want to know what it’s like then think about the town you live in. Now think about it doused it in whiskey and multiplied by Elvis. It’s kinda like that. This song is classic The Hold Steady – massive chorus, horns, the word ‘bar’ is mentioned at some point. Plus ten points for the line ‘in bar light she looked alright/in daylight she looked desperate’ too.

What Made Us Laugh Before The Internet?

2011-06-29T13:41:00.001-07:00

I mean, what?

The internet, the internet, the internet. Never has a deep, dark and wholly immoral pit been so multi coloured and alluring. It’s like a direct contrast to those sex shops you’d see around town in the early 90s with completely whitewashed windows and a sign that simply read ‘Private Shop’. Still, for all its perversion, lack of censorship and inaccurate Wikipedia entries that are ruining homework up and down the land, there is one thing it is still amazingly good at and that’s making us laugh. Or LOL. It all depends on how old you are.

May as well have a sign outside that says 'SHOP FOR PERVERTS'.

If you ever read any columns about the internet and how it has impacted on our society you’ll often read about how this mass sharing of easily accessible information is educating us all in the ways of our world or how this all-encompassing network is bringing this globe of ours closer together as it bulldozes social boundaries and smashes all ideologies that stand in its way. For me, though, I think the vast majority of us log on to look at things that ya know, just make us chuckle. Whether it’s that bunny with that pancake on its head or a high school gymnast attempting a somersault and landing square on her face, the internet shows you funny things you would never have seen otherwise.

Explaining internet memes is one of the hardest things to do.

A quick check of my internet history (doesn’t include private browsing thankfully) and I can safely say that 80% of the sites I access are for things that make me laugh. YouTube, a site that just had loads of pictures of sloths on it, a Google search for ‘funny jokes to tell in awkward social situations’. This is even before delving in to Facebook and how many times I’ve cracked up at the general idiocy of my ‘friends’. Put simply, the World Wide Web is a goldmine when it comes to funnies and I have absolutely no problem admitting that without it the vast majority of my jokes wouldn’t work, I’d have no friends and within 18 months the differences between me and Mr. Bean wouldn’t be that numerable.

The million dollar question.

So what did people do before the internet for LOLS? Force their cats into embarrassing situations whilst shouting funny captions? Switch peoples car cassettes for Rick Astley singles? Watch ‘The Fast Show’ repeats? I honestly can’t remember and I’m 25 years old. All I know is that this crazy thing that has the whole world glued to their computer screens can crease you up quicker than a killer whale sitting on your work shirt and for that we should all be grateful. So, here’s to you internet. You’re like the funny friend I’ve never had and, in all honesty, would never want.

If You've Got Some Fire, Share It.

2011-06-27T13:24:00.000-07:00

SSS brings another man to tears.

Right, one of my many readers sent me a tweet yesterday asking if I had any Spotify playlists I could share and the answer to that is "Yes indeed I do." So, below you'll find a list of links I've made over the years. Maybe they'll help you when you're sat frozen, with Spotify open, not being able to think of a single song or artist in the universe. I've had times where I've got this Spotify Statue Syndrome (SSS) so bad I've just typed 'good songs' into the search bar. Pathetic. Some are posted from me and some from my old spotify account before I set up this blog.

Crisp and cut. Crisp and damn cut.

1. 'Rip This Holy Night' - Best song - Probably 'Papa Was a Rolling Stone' by The Temptations because not only is it the best song on this particular list, it's also the best song on Spotify period. 'It was the third of September/That day I'll always remember/Yes I will.'

Sheffield and I.

2. 'No Horizon Blues' - Best song - Probably 'Cornerstone' by Arctic Monkeys because it's the best song that Morrissey has never written.

Ay yo Jay. Where'd ya lil brother get his tie from?

3. 'Believing baby, we believing' - Best song - Probably 'Money Ain't a Thang' by Jay-Z & Jermaine Dupri because it's so good to cruise around to jus' runnin' errands and ting. I don't give a shit what car you got bro, get this on and ride around shining.

If you want an ordinary world, get an office job, Duran Duran.

4. 'Shadowlands/Daggers' - Best song - Probably 'Ordinary World' by Duran Duran because when I play it I flounce around the room as if I'm as light as a feather and possibly studying a drama GCSE or some wack shit. Song does things to me.

When we gonna get excited?

5. 'Jetpack Ambition' - Best song - Probably 'To Hell With Good Intentions' by McLusky. Why? Have you heard it?! It's like someone smashing your window in, poking their head through the hole and spitting in your face. This is my most recent effort btw.

Hope you enjoy these and may you not be struck with SSS for at least a couple of hours or so.

Glastonbury Without The Mud.

2011-06-26T13:46:00.000-07:00

Jo Whiley making us all sad just out of shot.

That's me every year. Just sitting in various positions on my armchair watching Glastonbury on TV. I've never been. I should go and I'm sure I will one day but it's the whole buying tickets a year before it happens and being disorganised and there's a million other reasons but yeah, I normally watch a fair bit of it inbetween periods of muting my TV when Jo Whiley and/or Fearne Cotton come on.

Here's a few of my observations from watching Glastonbury this year:

- The crowds are getting bigger and younger every single year. Paul Simon was on earlier and the crowd went back so far the people at the back were stood in Wales. It was ridiculous. Paul Simon is about 3ft tall too, there could've been a midget playing a Paul Simon CD on a stereo on stage and the back of the crowd would know no different. Also, the front say eight rows of most of the acts this year have had a mean age of 14.8 years. These youngsters are talking nostalgically about The Libertines for God's sake.

- Bono just needs a goatee to complete his transformation into David Brent. Seriously, you can't do double leather at any age, let alone when you're about 50 and wearing a pair of sunglasses AT NIGHT AND IN THE RAIN that look like they were given away free with 'Heat' magazine.

- The lead singer from Biffy Clyro use to sign on at my local job centre. Either that or he looks exactly like 85% of people that attend that particular cathedral of charity.

- Dimunitive Janelle Monae was an absolute MONSTER last night. She deserves to go stratospheric and there's been a real wave of interest (#1 on iTunes, trending topic) off the back of that performance. Good on her 'cos she's fantastic and deserves it all.

- It's far easier to listen to Wu Tang than it is to watch them. One reason mainly - I will never be able to look at Method Man without thinking about Cheese from 'The Wire'. It's ruining the otherwise fantastic spectacle of some men that really haven't aged well loving their lives and playing some absolutely savage next-level-shit-genre-changing songs.

- I was hoping so hard that Jay would come out when Coldplay played 'Lost!' that my head started hurting. Massively underrated verse of his but yeah, he didn't come out and I was left with nothing but Chris Martin laying on the stage reeling out those poetic lines 'You might be a big fish in a little pond/doesn't mean you've won/cos they'll only come/a bigger one." Like Keats or Bob Dylan but a million times better. ish.

- Beyonce is going to own this tonight. In fact, I'd rather watch her play 'Halo', 'Crazy In Love' or 'If I Were a Boy' once than I would watch U2 play a set of my choosing, in my own front room, whilst a hareem of beautiful women write out the winning lottery numbers for the next 12 weeks.

I'll be live tweeting the Beyonce set so follow me if you don't already you little miseries.

The 5 Best Lines From The New Arctic Monkeys Record

2011-06-06T12:27:00.000-07:00

Wish this was the album cover.

The Arctic Monkeys released their fourth album 'Suck It and See' today and I've listened to it quite a few times already. The album, of course, suffers from the usual Arctic Monkeys afflictions. That being that the artwork is totally shit and the title is even worse. Seriously, four albums in and these guys have a 100% brown record when it comes to a) album covers and b) album titles specifically. Are they getting too much freedom from their record label? Am I hideously out of kilter here? SUCK IT AND SEE. It's awful. It sounds like a dreadful attempt at grabbing a reader's attention that you'd expect to see in a feature on healthy lollipops in 'More' magazine or something. Yes or it could be blowjobs. Thanks for that The Sun readers.

Still, I really love this band and I particularly Alex Turner's lyrics. Mainly because he never writes the line you think he's going to. Bloke always keeps you guessing and has a great talent for a comic throw off when you least expect it. See also Morrissey, Stephen Patrick. So, instead of spinning some great yarn of an album review for you that makes little sense (leave that to the guardian, of course) Imma gunna highlight five Turner gems I've picked up on today. Spittin' dat Sheffield fire.

1. "And did you ever get the feeling that these were things she said before/her steady hands may well have done the devil's pedicure." - The Hellcat Spangled Shalalala

I love the romantic paranoia in this line - it's just such a sideways way of wondering whether someone should be trusted or not. Who knows what she's got up to in the past hey Alex? Plus the image of the devil having a pedicure. That's ridiculous right? Like that bastard gives a hoot about personal hygiene! He's too busy kicking about with Piers Morgan and Simon Cowell doing his work.

2. "And I don't mean to rain on anybody's cabriolet.." - 'Black Treacle'

On my first listen to this song I remember approaching this line thinking "Oh God. 'Parade' really isn't going to fit at the end of the line Alex. Whatcha gonna do bro?" and then before I knew it slap! bang! Turner throws in a 'cabriolet'. I haven't heard that word for ages. In fact, I don't think anyone other than used car dealers has spoken that word for decades. Convertible, soft-top, topless. Yeah, all of those but cabriolet? That's an eighties thing and if there's one thing you do not want when you're in your cabriolet, well, it's being rained on.

3. "You look like you've been to breakfast at the Heartbreak Hotel." - 'Piledriver Waltz'

Nice image this one. I've been thinking all day about what would actually be on the menu at that lovesick residence down at the end of lonely street and I think I've finally arrived at an answer: it would be something traditionally good (like love, i suppose) but served without a vital part (like a willing partner to share it with, I presume). I therefore conclude that on the menu at Heartbreak Hotel would be things like cereal with no milk or just dry ass toast. Man, heartbreak tastes just horrible.

4. "I've been trying to figure out exactly what it is I need/call up to listen to the voice of reason/and got his answering machine." - 'Reckless Serenade'

Could Turner be accused of trying to be too clever here? Perhaps. Still, that half rhyme of 'need' and 'machine' works fantastically well in the song. I can't help but wish that this lyric were true though because on most occasions the voice of reason in your life is usually someone self appointed and my God, they are never on answer machine. Even when you want them to be.

5. "Give me an eenie meenie minee mo/or an ip dip dog shit rock 'n roll." - 'Library Pictures'

I've included this line solely because it made me LOL when I heard it for the first time. I think it was the mix of a childhood rhyme I hadn't heard for fifteen years coupled with thoughts of dog shit rock 'n roll. Or 'Download Festival' as it is more commonly known.

Anyway, good job Arctic Monkeys. Good job Alex Turner. A big band that sells a lot of records, yes, but a band that makes music they want to make on their, aesthetically displeasing cover wise, terms.

Arctic Monkeys - The Hellcat Spangled Shalalala

'Makes me wanna blow the candles out just to see if you glow in the dark.'

46 Million People Doing Nothing.

2011-05-23T13:32:00.000-07:00

Take a grenade for me Bruno. No really, please do.

I don't normally do posts like this. I've always tried to be constructive when I post and when I don't like something I might poke fun but I try not to hate too much on people because we're all - aside from Matt Bellamy - human. This right here is an exception though. Yep, I'm finally making one of those "oh look at the charts. Aren't they just awful?" posts. I really hate to because I love good pop music and you all know that. This song right here, however, is far from good. This song is so spectacularly bad that when I heard it for the first time I forgot who I was and all I stood for momentarily. I started talking in tongues and spinning on my head like Mark Owen use to do when Take That first came out. I don't know what came over me but I did know I didn't like it and that I wanted it to stop. Luckily, even Bruno Mars stops.

Funny chilled bloke.

A good opening couplet can grab the attention and hold it for the rest of a lifetime and the history of music is littered with songs with stunning opening lines. One soft infested summer me and Terry became friends/Trying in vain to breathe the fire we was born in Bruce once sang to open up 'Backstreets'. That line I've listed there I think about without hesitation when anyone mentions opening lyrics. It sets the tone for that song, that incredible album and the relationships born out of sheer desperation and a rabid desire for freedom that play out over it's eight tracks. You'd be hard pushed to say the same about Today I don't feel like doing anything/I just wanna lay in my bed. In fact, when I heard this SHIT for the first time earlier I honestly thought it was an advert jingle for a bed company. Is there a bed version of DFS that has a sale on 365 days of the year with 0% interest for 17 years. Actually, does DFS sell beds? Who knows? Who cares? You know what I'm getting at. Bruno Mars has written a song that belongs on an advert that stars Linda Barker. That's more damning than any number of words I can right here.

Turn the TV on, throw my hand in my pants/Nobody's gon' tell me I can't. Ohh. You tell 'em Bruno. You're your own man now and you don't care what they all say. You go Rage Against The Machine up in here wit yo hand down your pants man. Play with that cock of yours and wear your snuggie and damn what anyone else thinks.

Today I don't feel like doing anything
I just wanna lay in my bed
Don't feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone
'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything

I'm gonna kick my feet up then stare at the fan
Turn the TV on, throw my hand in my pants
Nobody's gon' tell me I can't

I'll be lounging on the couch just chilling in my Snuggie
Click to MTV so they can teach me how to dougie
'Cause in my castle I'm the freaking man
Oh yes, I said it, I said it
I said it 'cause I can
Today I don't feel like doing anything
I just wanna lay in my bed
Don't feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone
'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything

Nothing at all, nothing at all

Tomorrow I'll wake up, do some P90X
Find a really nice girl, have some really nice sex
And she's gonna scream out
This is great
(Oh my god, this is great)
Yeah, I might mess around
And get my college degree
I bet my old man will be so proud of me
But sorry pops, you'll just have to wait
Oh yes, I said it, I said it
I said it 'cause I can

Today I don't feel like doing anything
I just wanna lay in my bed
Don't feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone
'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything
No, I ain't gonna comb my hair
'Cause I ain't going anywhere
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
I'll just strut in my birthday suit
And let everything hang loose

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Oh, today I don't feel like doing anything
I just wanna lay in my bed
Don't feel like picking up my phone, so leave a message at the tone
'Cause today I swear I'm not doing anything

Nothing at all
Nothing at all
Nothing at all

So, what purpose does this song serve? Is it one for kids to play from their tinny phone speakers in the park this summer? Probably not. It's certainly not a party banger nor is it an emotional one that 16 year old girls can quote on their facebook status when their first boyfriend dumps them in favour of their "less frigid" mate. There's only one mental image I get when listening to this song in terms of context and I'll tell you what it is right here. I can imagine some daytime radio twat like Vernon Kay or Fearne Cot Death saying something like "This one goes out to all of you just chillaxin' around the crib for the day. Put your trackies on, get the telly on and make a cuppa - it's Bruno Mars." Awful.

The whole concept behind the tone of this thing too. Think about how Mars's singles so far have been either love songs or emotional break up songs. You can just see some idiot marketing guy going "We need something less serious. We need to show Bruno's fun side too cos boy can he do fun!" This is Bruno Mars having fun. He loves people the way they are, he's not superficial. He'd take a grenade for others, he's ~~obsessed~~ dedicated and look at him now! He's only bloody chilled out and LOL too. What a guy!

Seriously, to hell with Bruno Mars and to hell with this song. Sometimes there's good stuff in the charts, sometimes there's shit in the charts but the shit I can usually understand. It's a bit like prawns really. I think they taste and look utterly vile but I can see the attraction for others. Some people just dig a fishy treat that looks like an alien that will one day rule our world. I get why little girls might like The Wanted. I get why people buy N-Dubz albums but this sort of thing, I'm sorry, I'm waving the white flag here. It beats me. I'm done. Dead and gone.

Oh yeah, this has 46 million views on youtube, in case you were wondering.

The Great Escape Festival Review - Brighton - 13/14 May 2011

2011-05-19T13:57:00.000-07:00

Wasn't a Steve McQueen in sight.

It's been five days since I returned from The Great Escape (TGE) festival and I'm starting to think that if I don't write up some sort of review soon then I may as well not bother. It's starting to get a bit
like writing about what christmas presents you want in the middle of July. You're so late people are starting to think that you might be early for next year.

So, this was my first Great Escape and I'll be upfront here, I thought it was really good. My first impression was one of relief when I got there and realised that the thing was actually pretty decently organised. There were quite a few 'representatives' dotted about and it didn't take us long befoe we located where we should get our wristbands from. From here we tried to watch our first act - we had to miss the whole Friday due to work - of the festival - Fionn Regan.

Regan was playing at a bar called Horatio's on Brighton Pier and by the time we got there (despite being early) the queue was already pretty long. Now, we've witnessed the miracle of my short attention span many times on this blog and I won't lie here and say that I wasn't being drawn into the bar next door that was all of the following:

a) in total darkness aside from a mirrorball
b) full of people that were absolutely ruined. At 2pm.
c) playing 'Dancing Queen' and everyone one was singing along.

Not entirely my scene BUT I just loved the contrast of this joint with all the scenesters queueing up for Fionn Regan. All too cool for school in too tight clothes whilst some fat girl in the bar next door is losing her shit to the 'Macarena'. I'm all about things like that. That's life right there people. Anyway, we couldn't get in to Fionn Regan because it was too busy so we pissed about for a while until this guy Mrs, Meet Dinosaur really digs - Benjamin Francis Leftwich - was on.

Benjamin Francis Leftwich. 'Jamin to his mates.

I know what you're thinking, 'what a ridiculous name. who is this guy?' and for what it's worth, I agree. To give him credit, trusted online resource Wikipedia suggests that his name really is Benjamin Francis Leftwich so at least he's not called Dave Jones or something. Still, just go with with Ben Leftwich in future ay mate? I was quite impressed with this guy anyway. The whole set was acoustic singer songwriter stuff but he's got a really nice voice that even stood up acapella with no mic, nice little songs too. Worth checking out if you're into that sorta thing. He does look a bit like a posh British version of Spencer from 'The Hills' sometimes though, through no fault of his own.

After this guy we didn't see any bands for a bit. Not for a lack of wanting I'd like to add. It's more because Brighton is a cool place with lots to see and do so we just mooched about and soaked up the culture. By that I mean we bought some chips and sat by the sea for ages watching some skateboarders and it was really enjoyable. If any skateboarders are reading btw, are any of you any good? I don't mean to knock something that is probably well hard but whenever I watch someone on a skateboard they always seem to be shit. Look, I could do a 540 and a perfect kick flip within FIVE MINUTES of playing Tony Hawk's on the PS1 so step yo game up Brighton skateboarders.

After our little break it was time for, well, the main reasons we bothered going to this thing: The Antlers and Okkervil River. Yes, I should've explored more, I know, I know. Put simply though, if they weren't playing, I wouldn't have bothered. That's how easy I'm put off live music these days. Give me five years and the only festival I'll be going to will be the annual Man, Meet Dinosaur fest which, by then, will be a pretty big deal I should think.

This is The Antlers. You'll have to Trust me on this one although from this picture granted, it could be like, The Wanted.

The Antlers are currently on a pretty big world tour in support of their new record 'Burst Apart' and their TGE set consisted wholly of songs from this album. I'm still yet to hear this album such is my excitement of not giving in to listening to it until I have a physical copy in my greasy mitts. Consequently, my connection with some of the songs played was nowhere near as big as it would've been if they'd played some songs from the incredible 'Hospice'. The band have gained a (touring at least) member with a second guitarist being drafted in since the last time I saw them and going on first impressions only, they're a lot louder now than on previous tours. I'm really excited to hear this new record and going on this set, it sounds like it has some proper songs on it. Must say though, I heard this tune 'I Don't Want Love' for the first time at this show and it hit me like a sledgehammer. From a completely cold and previously unknown standpoint, that's a pretty special thing. Expecting big things when I hear the recorded version of this song.

Such a good photo! No, I didn't take it. credit to Mrs, Meet Dinosaur.

Now, now, now. On to the main event. Okkervil River were on next. I don't need to say here that I'm a big fan. I blog and tweet about this bunch pretty much constantly and you're probably sick of reading about them. Maybe you've even stopped reading because you're that sick of hearing from me about them. As I wrote in my preview, I felt really lucky to see both of these bands on a week so close to them both releasing new albums. There's something really magical and exciting about that because everything feels new. To you and to the band. For this reason, I was a bit dissapointed with the lack of new songs from OR. Dissapointed but in the same way they didn't play any songs released before 'Black Sheep Boy' I completely understand the decision. At a festival like this, your main aim has to be to win over new fans. You also have to assume that the majority of the crowd don't know you and consequently are pretty indifferent to what you've got to play for them. To this end it was no shock to hear the band play a set entirely consisting of their most upbeat, catchy and memorable songs. All of 'em chockful of big hooks. 'For Real', 'Unless It's Kicks', 'Lost Coastlines'. All great songs that'd make any best of OR cd you'd make for the uninitated. Trust me, I lknow, I've made enough of them bitches.

The band were in fine form, I must say. Their enthuasism and love for what they do is always evident and compared to many other miserable bastards, it's refreshing to see. Frontman Will Sheff continues to grow into his voice and his confidence seems to increase from show-to-show, record-to-record. Dude has no worries with stripping everything out until his only his voice remains and, in a live setting especially, this is something that works really well.

Will Sheff of Okkervil River. Modern day hero.

New album 'I Am Very Far' has been received pretty well from what I've read (that being every review written) and I truly hope this fantastic band receives some crossover success of the back of this one. Quite simply because they deserve it and I'm sick of them being ignored. There's one song on IAVF that has the potential to forcibly shove this band into the spotlight and I was genuinely shocked they didn't play it at TGE. It's called 'White Shadow Waltz' and if it's not released as the next single or the one after that I'll eat my hat and my cat. It's an epic building Arcade Fire of a song. Check it out and if you haven't already, check this band out too. And Great Escape Festival, check that shit too, it's good. See you next year.

The Great Escape Festival Preview - Brighton - 13/14 May 2011

2011-05-14T02:41:00.001-07:00

Rocking this thing like Graham Greene.

Bit late to this one considering it started yesterday and I'm sat on my bed blogging about it now but I am about to leave any minute to head to Brighton and watch some bands. By watch some bands I mean stand still with my arms crossed whilst occasionally nodding my head to show some appreciation, of course. "Who's playing you idiot?" Well, loads of people actually. Full lineup is here and if you know every single one of those bands playing I'd wager you either work for The Great Escape Festival or you're solidly unemployed.

Alela Diane plays TGE festival. Apparently unaware that I got a tick from holding a feather like that once.

"But MMD, you're a miserable old curmudgeon at the tender age of 25, what are you doing to a youthful virile event like that?" Well, two reasons mainly. 1. Okkervil River 2. The Antlers. I loathe to sound so reductive here because there are 300+ bands playing this thing and yes, of course there's other people I intend on seeing but the timing of this really could not be better. How many times do you get to see your favourite band just days after they've released a new album? How many times do you get to see a band that made an album as unforgettable as any over the past decade on stage before your favourite band? HARDLY DAMN EVER.

DJ Shadow plays TGE festival. Apparently unaware that he looks a bit Fred Dursty.

I'll report back with my findings on this weekend but I'm expecting great things. Those geeks over on twitter have been 'live tweeting' the event and by all reports, it's been going very well so far. I'll probably write some misguided tweets whilst I'm there too so make sure you follow.

If anyone needs me I'll be at the Okkervil River merch stand spending money I can't afford. Drive safe everyone.

Buy This.

2011-05-10T14:18:00.001-07:00

Hungry like the wolf.

It doesn't happen very often but when it does, oh my, what an event. There's a new Okkervil River album out everyone. Buy it from amazon for only SEVEN POUNDS AND NINETY NINE PENCE. Go on, buy this and everything else this band has done and believe in music again. Full review coming this week, I just gotta take all this in. Like a sponge. Like a leech. But cooler.

Reviewing Films Without Watching Them #2

2011-05-07T14:08:00.000-07:00

Films now just aren't what they were in my day.

A while ago I was moaning (what else is new?) about how dismal the cinema listings were looking that week. I then went on to write about each film and how I'd hate it before actually watching it and in most cases, generally knowing very little about the premise or anything else about the picture. Dismissive? yes. Uninformed? yes. Surprising thing for me to do? absolutely not.

Same thing is happening now readers, the films currently being advertised all look shit. Here's a brief rundown of what's on at the moment, what I expect from each film and why I won't be watching any of them. Ignorance is the only bliss.

'Thor'

Nice hammer Thor. No euphemism.

We all know the story of Thor. Double hard bastard god with a big hammer who, department wise back then, was in charge of thunder and lightning and all that. Trusted educational resource Wikipedia also reliably informs me that the day before Friday, Thursday as we call it, is actually named after Thor. Literally. It's Thor's day. Nice useless factoid to remember for the next time you're at a pub quiz and your iPhone is out of battery so you can't google answers.

Anyway, they've made a film about Thor and it's imaginatively titled 'Thor'. It stars that kid up there in the picture Originally I thought it was going to be a 'Troy' type thing with a massive budget that although faithful to the times it was set, turns out to be bloody boring but guess what? Thor isn't like that. Oh no. Apparently Thor gets banished from wherever he lives, let's say heaven because I don't really know, and has to go and live in modern day Mexico City. A novel idea which doesn't completely inspire me, I must say. I'm guessing there's a couple of LOL scenes where Thor plays Mario Kart for the first time or goes in an elevator or something but I'd prefer this film if it was realistic about this situation. By this I mean, imagine if you were transported from centuries ago to this day and age. Just imagine it. Like you just woke up and BANG! It's 2011. Let's be honest, you'd probably be able to just about work out how to get the TV on. You'd then see some steaming turd like 'Jersey Shore' or 'My Super Sweet 16' and probably end up smashing your Thor hammer into your face to end the agony as quick as you physically could.

'Hanna'

Reach for the stars.

I don't think that this new film, 'Hanna', is about Hannah from S Club. I could be wrong and I apologise if I am but Hannah has been out of the spotlight for so long now I just cannot see how it would make commercial sense to make a film about her today. With this said, I literally have no idea what this film is about. Why does Hollywood adore being so abstract in their film titles? Really does my head in, I must say. I think all films should have descriptive titles so you know what you're getting. This is why I adore the Scary/Date/Epic movie spoof series so much. Don't even get me started about that time I took a girl on a FIRST DATE to watch 'The Ring' because I thought it was going to be about jewellery. That was the longest night of my life and I never saw her again, in case you hadn't guessed.

Water for Elephants

Big kill for a human vampire that. Hats off.

This film is about Robert Pattinson and Reese Witherspoon working in a circus and falling in love through "their shared compassion of a special elephant". Sounds weepy this one, doesn't it? I'm staying well clear for that very reason. Man do I hate crying in public. Not because I'm embarrassed I'd like to stress, more because it runs my mascara like a demon. There is one reason why I would like to see this though - finally I would be able to use my "Heard an actress was murdered last night - Reese something..." "Witherspoon?" "No, it was with a super sharp machete actually" joke. Every cloud...

Slight aside but is Robert Pattinson the luckiest actor working? I've not seen him in anything other than 'Remember Me' (shout out for having the worst ending to a film I've ever seen aside from 'The Village') but in that he was so far beyond wooden he was like, erm, MDF. Also, he isn't that good looking either is he? Serious replies only please. If you're under 15 and/or a vampire, you need not apply.

Scre4m

New decade. Same shit.

It's films like this that make you want to be a recluse, staying well away from the cinema at all times. Seriously, this is the FOURTH scream film. FOURTH. Peter Jackson wrapped up 'Lord of The Rings' in three films, just to give you a bit of perspective. The strapline on all the advertising for this film is "NEW DECADE, NEW RULES!" as you can see on that poster I've attached. We all know the premise already though, don't we? There's a murderer dicking about with Neve Campbell, Courtney Cox and David Arquette. It's normally someone they know when the killer is unmasked at the end of the film, Scooby Doo style. The police are normally particularly pathetic and the ruthless maniac always wears that Asda Hallowe'en aisle mask. I can honestly feel myself running out of steam just typing about this film. To put it another way, there's another long running shitchise with a film out at the moment and I'd rather see that than this. Yes I'm talking about 'Fast and Furious'.

Winnie The Pooh

Why doesn't he ever wear any pants?

Game over. I'd actually quite like to see this.

Someone Buy This and Make Me Sad.

2011-05-03T14:22:00.001-07:00

Individually signed letter FFS.

It's one week until the best band on the planet release their much anticipated (by me at least) new album 'I Am Very Far'. Pictured above is the quite frankly ridiculous special edition of the album and its contents. As you can see, you pretty much get everything you could ever want aside from maybe a bottle opener and a lifetime of contentment but even so, it's a real special edition. Kudos for not taking the normal route when it comes to these sorts of things and releasing an album that has one extra track of the artist farting and 'limited edition' packaging which usually means "We've made it an odd size so it won't fit in your CD rack."

I've got some sad news about the above package though dear reader and it concerns the hundreds of thousands of UK based Okkervil River fans like myself. This thing is $75.00 which is just entirely too expensive for a record, yet, if you think about it for a long enough like I did, you really can start to justify the expense. "It could be worse. I could've wasted the $75.oo on drugs that could lead me to a irreversible downward spiral," things like that. So, picture me with this thang in my online basket merrily typing in my card details and clicking that dangerous 'Proceed' button. I'm smiling, I'm chillin', I'm doin' what I do. Next screen comes up. $46.00 for delivery! MAN had I not thought about that! Now, $120.00 for a record is too much even for me. I'd like to say it's all completely out of order and what a rip off etc. but the thing comes in a wooden box! Weight wise, it'd be like sending a raccoon in an appropriately sized casked from the US to the UK a.k.a. "not cheap."

So I got a bit upset and all and then ordered the normal edition from Amazon. They probably won't even deliver it on time for release date so that got me double dip depressed. All the while I have to think about some little dork somewhere opening his special edition and being all happy about it whilst the throws the copious amounts of content around like he's in goddamn 'Duck Tails'. Life ain't fair and nor is postage and packing.

BUY 'I AM VERY FAR' HERE. or the shit normal edition from Amazon for a horrifically cheap £7.59.

P.S I'm not promising I definitely won't buy this btw. I'm already thinking about it with another browser tab open that displays my pitiful bank balance.

Song of The Day #30 - Kid CuDi - 'Up, Up and Away'

2011-04-30T13:16:00.000-07:00

Bloody rappers and their bloody smoking.

I have hammered this song this year. Absolutely hammered it. For that reason, it's only fair that it rounds off this incredible month in which I have posted on this blog for THIRTY CONSECUTIVE DAYS. Quite an achievement for a lazy little oik like me. It's really made me fall back in love with this little dark corner of the internet of mine. I intend to post a fair bit next month too - no, not every day - so keep reading and all that. I've appreciated the feedback I've got from people, keep it coming bitches.

Kid CuDi - 'Up, Up & Away'

Feelin' like I'm Peter Pan.

This is a bit like 'Love Story' in the sense that it's very difficult not to get caught up in it. The song is a complete rush of positivity from start to finish. Balls out to tha haters. That's the basic message of this shit right here. For me, it's one of about four highlights of a Cudi's debut which was, let's be honest, far too long and very patchy.

I've got a friend who really likes Cudi simply because he has a "cool voice" and that's a good point. He's certainly not the best lyricist about but his voice is just dope sounding isn't it? See also Raekwon and Rick Ross. Guys could rhyme the manual to my washing machine and I'd be stood there grinning like an idiot digging the death out of it.

Short post because I'm painting the town red tonight and need to get out there. By that I don't mean I'm going out clubbing or anything, I actually mean I've got a new decorating job and my boss has told me tonight that are first job is to go out and painthe whole of the town with red paint. What are the chances of that?

I'll be up up and away
up up and away
cuz they gon' judge me anyway so whatever
I'll be up up and away
up up and away
cuz in the end they'll judge me anyway so whatever

Song of The Day #29 -Taylor Swift - 'Love Story'

2011-04-29T12:37:00.000-07:00

Alvin....Simon...Selena Gomez!

No, I'm not being ironic. I genuinely like this song. Like properly. It's all my girlfriends fault for playing (and singing over it IN TUNE, definitely in tune, in case you're reading.) it constantly last year and going on about "that key change" over and over again. For those of you that aren't involved in my relationship, 'that' key change occurs after Taylor Swift sings "...pulled out a ring and SAID" and she's right you know. My girlfriend that is. It is an incredible key change and it's very very difficult not to get swept away with it. The joy of it and the enthuasiasm of the delivery are the main drivers I think. Either way, I gave myself over to it a long time ago. It's a sugary tidal wave of considerable power.

Taylor Swift - 'Love Story'

Just say yes.

The Royal Wedding was held today as well of course, making this song pretty apt and everything. It's funny really as I've never cared about the royals in any way but I enjoyed that ceremony for two reasons mainly. Firstly, as soft as it sounds, it's kind of nice to see two people that really care about each other isn't it? Secondly, I thought London looked just amazing on the TV. Proper majestic. I even found myself watching it thinking "How do I get to do this shit?" as if being in the royal family is something you can acquire by means of a graduate scheme or something like that. Still, hope they're happy together and I hope Prince Andrew is used to fill in potholes up and down the land because he's a USELESS TWAT.

So yeah, this is a country pop song that I really like and I know haters are gonna hate and Taylor Swift is probably the product of some greasy Simon Cowell style record company exec somewhere but whatever gurlfriend, if she's manufactured, she's been put together well.

Apologies for slightly shit and short post btw. I'm rushing like a Russian again.

P.S. I just saw this artist legitimately spelt as 'Tayler Sweift' on some site or another. I LOLd.

I got tired of waiting
Wondering if you were ever comin' around
My faith in you was fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town

Song of The Day #28 - Buck 65 - 'Bandits'

2011-04-28T15:11:00.000-07:00

Buck 65. 65 bucks. Otherwise known as a weeks' wages :*(

God this is poor. I'm only just going to get this post in 'today'. It's 23:17. The sort of time when people are normally drinking or watching 'My Big Fat Gypsy Midget's Got Talent', things like that. I'm here trying to find a song about that inspires me a little. Not just a song I love, there's a thousand of them but one I come back to time and time again. I've chosen 'Bandits' for that reason. It just really interests me and I listen to it a lot. They good enough reasons for you ya little dictator? Huh?

Buck 65 - 'Bandits'

Eyes like shadows, one way ticket, Marrakech.

This is stream of consciousness writing I suppose. I don't attribute massive amounts meaning to every line Buck spits here - I think a lot of words and phrases have been chosen over others because they just fit better and I'm down with that. This song to me just sounds so poetic, in a disconnected and non linear way. Still, the more I listen to it, the more images it starts to evoke and the more sense I start to make of things. I won't relay these connotations I've created here because I don't want to ruin the song for anyone else. That is, quite possibly, one of the things I love more than anything else about music - the fact that words, lines or whole songs can mean completely different things to one person than they do to another. In fact, there's nothing worse than an artist coming out and going "Oh yeah, that hit song I wrote that you all love. That's about this girl called Sarah Sarahson I knew at school and here's a picture of her and it's not about my relationship with a dragon like you all thought nor is it about my love affair with apple pies from McDonalds and I hope you appreciate me ruining all the mystery that existed around the song."

I should probably write a little about Buck 65's sound. There's a reason I haven't by the way - he's really hard to pin down and I'm not very good at writing about music. I'll just say he'd probably be listed under the Hip-Hop section in most record stores but he can also play guitar incredibly well and his voice sounds like gravel in a cement mixer. In other words, he sounds a bit like Aesop Rock. As always, listen to the song, not to me.

silly girls and beat up boys all goin fast
lightin fires killin music blowin glass
whispered fury deepest secrets separate treasures
the eyes go pink now slap the forehead desperate measures

Song of The Day #27 - Antony and The Johnsons - 'I Fell In Love With a Dead Boy'

2011-04-27T13:17:00.000-07:00

So easy to get lost in that maze.

This song features the most pregnant pause I have ever heard on record. I just counted it as it happens - it's 18 seconds long. Think about that. EIGHTEEN seconds. It's not ages but still, it's long enough for you to actually carry out some small tasks. In eighteen seconds I think I could kill a decent size animal (A possum. Maybe even a badger if I had a mallet), make a slapdash sandwich and judging on previous attempts, probably have sexual intercourse too. Wait the silence out though. Please do that because after the pause, there's this little piano chord that lets out no more than a breath and trust me when I say it breaks my heart each and every time.

Antony & The Johnsons - 'I Fell In Love With a Dead Boy'

All my life I've been so blue.

Can I just say now that I only ever embed videos from YouTube that have been uploaded by others. That's kinda bad, I know I should always citate users and stuff. In this particular case, I willl, I'd like to shoutout 'Timmybear', the uploader of this video, mainly because it's a bit weird. You can probably tell if you watch but his description of this video is "A slideshow of dead boys, set to a lovely song." The dead boys featured are people like Kurt Cobain, Chet Baker and Freddie Mercury. I can't be the only one a bit creeped out by this. These people were grown men, not boys. Also, this song is definitely very emotional and very haunting even but "lovely"? It can't be lovely. Kids that give up their time to help the elderly are "lovely". A nice meal with good company could be "lovely". Two old codgers still holding hands, maybe a bit lovely See what I'm getting at here?! This ain't lovely.

I'm really rambling today so as always, I'd really prefer it if you listened to the song instead of reading my rubbish. These songs are all picked for a reason and this one is yet another that I found just unforgettable after hearing it once. The piano is sparse but essential and Antony Hegarty's voice is nothing if not full bodied, upfront and put simply, downright staggering. Just listen to how he soars when he hits the lines about writing letters to Australia and throwing bottles out to sea only to then come immediately right back into his shell to simply ask "Are you a boy or a girl?" Confused, feverishly emotive, absolutely beautiful.

Either that or it's "lovely", one of the two.

I fell in love with you
Now you're my one and only
All my life I've been so blue
Bu in that moment you fulfilled me
Now I tell all my friends
I fell in love with a dead boy

Song of The Day #26 - Nick Cave and Warren Ellis - 'The Rider Song'

2011-04-26T13:46:00.000-07:00

"You wanna pearce of me? Huh?"

Another slow one I'm afraid. I was going to pick that new song by The Wombats about anti-depressants but then I heard it and realised how it is almost indescribably terrible. It came on the radio when I was driving home from work and sick of my CDs (Seriously, I've had 'My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy in there since it's release on 04/12/10) and it was so bad that I was looking around my car and out of the window making sure everyone else was on the same wavelength as me and wearing a similar WTF facial expression. Turns out the public couldn't hear the song through my windows and so just thought I was sat in my car, in silence, doing a weird face but hey, so it goes. Allow me to be your anti-depressant Joe Public.

This song is the polar opposite of that one. It's beautifully simple and lyrically, well, it's just a great poem set to music, just like all the best songs are. Taken from the western film 'The Proposition', it's hard not to draw a load of predictable metaphors and call this song dusty, weary and perfectly set but it's all of those things and due to the fact that I've listened to it so many times since I first heard it when that film came out, it's must be much more than that too.

Nick Cave & Warren Ellis - 'The Rider Song'

Offline. I can write shit this good, you guys just ain't read it yet.

There's been so many twists and turns in Nick Cave's prolonged and astounding career that it's perfectly reasonable to say that you both love and loathe the mans work without looking completely batshit. Miserable bastard (The Boatman's Call), Spiky punk (The Birthday Party/early Bad Seeds) or full band bombast (Abbatoir Blues/Lyres of Orpheus) - the man has about ten completely different artists over his career. As he's got older, though, I think his voice lends itself just fantastically well to songs like 'The Rider Song' where he sounds as full of cracks and as old as time as the desert landscape.

I don't pretend to know what this song is about. It's intrigue lies in its ambiguity and I think its replayability is born in its brevity. Nick Cave is quite simply a fantastic writer who can turn his hand to all forms of prose and when combined with long term collaborator like Warren Ellis as he is here, his abilities to produce great music are honed to a degree of undeniable quality.

'When?' said the moon to the stars in the sky
'Soon' said the wind that followed them all
'Who?' said the cloud that started to cry
'Me' said the rider as dry as a bone
'Who?' said the sun that melted the ground
'Why?' said the river that refused to run
'Where?' said the thunder without a sound
'Here' said the rider and took up his gun
'No' said the stars to the moon in the sky
'No' said the trees that started to moan
'No' said the dust that blinded his eyes
'Yes' said the rider as white as a bone
'No' said the moon that rose from his sleep
'No' said the cry of the dying sun
'No' said the planets that started to weep
'Yes' said the rider and laid down his gun

Song of The Day #25 - M.Ward - 'I'll Be Yr Bird'

2011-04-25T12:26:00.000-07:00

I'll be yr murderous-lookin'-half-hiding-in-the-dark bird.

I'm rushing so much here I should be called Yuri (geddit? Rushing/Russian? Me neither). Why? Well, I'm meant to be leaving for a wedding reception (not mine) any minute but naturally, if I leave before I post my 'Song of The Day' and break this TWENTY FOUR POST AND COUNTING consecutive run then I'll feel just so terrible. So here I am, all dressed up with somewhere to go posting on my blog instead of being en route to the happiest night of someone's life.

M. Ward - 'I'll Be Yr Bird'

I'm not your DJ late night radio.

I've already posted so many different types of songs this month. This one is quite simply a really sweet love song. Apt for the day (and week, I suppose) of a wedding. I also really dig the main sentiment behind this song. "I'm not yer second/I'm not yer third but I'll be yr bird." M.Ward sings. I think he's trying to say "Yo look woman. I know you been foolin' around wit brothas befo' me and I know damn sure that yo' be foolin after me too but you know what? I be diggin' yo ass so for time why not let me hit that ting and let me be yo' bird." Essentially, M.Ward is not comparing his love to a summers day because love isn't like that, is it? Love's a day when although it can get cold and the sun is nowhere to be seen, well, least it ain't raining too.

I'll sing statistics, & hide the truth,
I'll tell your dad anything that you want me to,
I'll hide your locket under the dirt,
I'll be your bird

Song of The Day #24 - Atmosphere - 'Guarantees'

2011-04-24T13:37:00.000-07:00

You're called Slug. You've got clown facepaint on. It's never going to end well.

Atmosphere have a really misleading name. I think they really should be in the business of making that incidental lift music than no one really listens to. They could be called 'Ambiance' which would be even worse but yeah, if you don't know of the act, they really aren't what you might think just by going on their name. We were all told not to judge books by their covers at school anyway, weren't we? It's for that precise reason that I'm very open minded when it comes to arts/culture and often find myself listening to a jazz record one minute and laughing my little socks off to an episode of 'Two and a Half Men' the next.

Atmosphere - 'Guarantees'

Death don't wait for no one.

No, Atmosphere don't make incidental lift music. They also have nothing to do with climate change. Nope, they're more into making incredibly real and gritty songs about the whole manner of shit that goes on between you being born and dying. Yeah, they're hip-hop. No, they aren't like anyone you've heard who makes that sort of music. The rapping faction of the Atmosphere duo, Slug, has made a career out of bleeding wounds and voicing insecurities over a variety of thoughtful and unique beats provided to him by his other half, Ant. 'Guarantees' isn't their best song, it could be their most simple and effective though. Vast majorities of this tune are a ultra basic guitar line away from being just Slug doing his thing acapella and I can't be the only one that finds it mesmerising.

This is a song about how hard it is to get by sometimes.I don't mean that in a big existential way either. I'm talking about the small things that grind you down on a day to day basis. Relationships, paying the rent, providing for your family. Real man shit. This is like 8 Mile with no Hollywood studio, no monumentous slices of luck and put simply, no way out.

Pull up to the bar to politic and tap the power
Ain't nobody really all that jolly at your happy hour

Song of The Day #23 - Okkervil River - 'Lost Coastlines'

2011-04-23T12:55:00.000-07:00

The world's best band, pictured a while ago.

It's taken over three weeks for me to feature an Okkervil River song. Not completely intentional even if I was sort of holding them back for a day when I'm really struggling with motivation for a blog post. Guess what? That day is today. It's been really hot and that just makes everyone lazy. I take this to extremes. If it's hot enough then my frame won't actually do anything but lay horizontal. If anyone needs a body double for a funeral rehearsal or something like that then I'm your man. Cool?

This isn't even my favourite Okkervil River song just so you know. Admittedly, it's probably top five shit but still, there's other reasons why I've included it here. Firstly, it has an official video. Secondly, I think (bar 'For Real') it's their most instant and accessible song. Thirdly, I just want to introduce this wonderful band to as many people as possible. If, out of the six people that read this blog, someone starts listening to Okkervil and buying their records, that's definitely fine with me.

Okkervil River - 'Lost Coastlines'

Every night finds us rocking and rolling on waves wild and wide.

The song though. It's a fantastic one that showcases why I think so highly of this band. The lyrics, as ever, are top notch. Which other writer could get the line "...in the ensuing melee escape" into an upbeat and melodic sea song like this huh? 'Lost Coastlines' also features some horns and my god do I love horns in tunes! When employed well (I DO NOT MEAN SKA MUSIC) I don't really think there's anything like it actually. Here they add some fantastic punch to the 'la la la's that see this song through to its completion. If you don't end up singing along by your third listen, then shame on you, your family and everyone's life you've ever touched. Give it a listen and don't you dare come back to me saying "Ay yo. That guy with the deep voice who does the second verse has a better voice than the main dude from the band" because although that's maybe possibly sort ofish a little bit true, no one wants to hear that sorta slander around here. Ya dig?

NEW ALBUM 'I AM VERY FAR' OUT 09/05. BUY IT HERE.

well we have lost our way
nobody's gonna say it outright
Just go la la la la la la la la la....

Song of The Day #22 - The Late Cord - 'My Most Meaningful Relationships Are With Dead People'

2011-04-22T13:41:00.001-07:00

Micah P Hinson. Voice like a shipwreck, face like a 13 year old.

I'm hungover worse than a million suns. I don't even know what that means. It doesn't even make sense. All I know is that I spent the hours of 2-6pm led on my bed staring at the ceiling. I had my phone and my laptop with me and both were completely out of battery. They like me were doing nothing. Just laying there empty of life and flat.

Hangover music is an interesting concept. What do we all prefer? It's definitely the only time I DO NOT wanna hear some new jack rapper banging on about bitches and swag so for me, the beats are always out. I, like you, usually revert to cliche and play quiet contemplative stuff. Songs that don't get in the way, songs that sound sympathetic to your plight and the tatters that resemble your life when you wake up from one of *those* nights.

The Late Cord - 'My Most Meaningful Relationships are With Dead People'

Is it too far gone to be saved?

Perhaps I'm asking a lot for people to listen to this song. It's seven minutes long and it's very slow. Safe to say it certainly does not go too well with a sunny bank holiday nor will it any way accompany a Royal Wedding in a jovial jingoistic manner. I only listened to this song earlier because it came on shuffle. Before that play, I perhaps hadn't heard it for five years. I had definitely forgotten what a stunning piece of music this is.

At 3pm, I couldn't even listen to this. It cut too close to the bone when I was feeling very uncertain of myself and all I know as I led on that deathbed shaking and wondering if I'd ever feel normal again. As the hangover started to lift though, I give it another listen and my oh my, it's just beautiful. The Late Cord are/were singer songwriter Micah P. Hinson and John Mark Lapham from The Earlies. Micah is the guy with that unmistakable baritone and Lapham does most of the rest I assume. As always, just give this a listen. Good luck in trying to ignore the lump in your throat.

Also, this is an amazing song to listen to if you live in a shared house of any sort. Simply because it gives you the best answer ever to the question "Ay yo. What's that song called you're listening to in there?" "Oh, it's called 'My Most Meaningful Relationships Are With Dead People'". If, however, your most meaningful relationships actually are with dead people then maybe you should seek some help and close the coffin lid.

You had nothin' to say

Song of The Day #21 - H.O.P.E & Skeme - 'Appalled'

2011-04-21T12:30:00.000-07:00

Skeme schemein'.

You gotta be diplomatic when you're writing blogs sometimes. Take me doing my 'Best Songs of The Year' list last year. I started making a list and whittling it down over the course of about a week. It was around this time that I realised the vast majority of these songs were on Spotify and hey! wouldn't it be nice if I could make a Spotify playlist of the list once it was completed. This did, however, mean that a couple of songs missed out on making the list because they were hard to get hold of and also definitely not on Spotify. 'Appalled' was one of these songs. This song right here was easily in my top five most played of the second half of last year and it only came out in December. That says a fair bit I think. All I know is, trying to call the winner out of the two MCs on this track is harder than trying to tyope a vblog ppoddst with your toes. Guess which words in that sentence I typed with my toes for extra impact?

H.O.P.E & Skeme - 'Appalled'

I'm two BIGs, three Pacs and four stacks.

This song sees these two go mental over a beat that is for all intended purposes, Kanye's 'So Appalled' beat. That song of Kanye's was of course a pretty big deal as it saw the biggest stars in the rap game guesting on top of a beat produced by arguably the biggest producer working today, Swizz Beatz. This tune features two pretty much unknown rookies take half of the song each and they tear shreds off of everyone who touched the Kanye version. 'Ye himself, Jay-Z, Pusha-T. Bring one, bring all. They all just got their heads knocked off. This is hip hop at its best, at its most hungriest, at its most infectious. With Spotify looking like it's going to go through some massive changes soon perhaps I won't even need to consider it but if I hear a song this good this year, it's topping my end of year charts. Whether it's easy to find or not.

We chase pay day,
Saying what you can’t say
One drink away
From being your girl’s shake weight

Song of The Day #20 - Tom Waits - 'Road to Peace'

2011-04-20T14:22:00.000-07:00

A young Waits pays homage to the Mt. Rushmore presidents sculpture via the medium of his face.

20 posts in a row! Wow! Party streamer! I went past saying "that's a record!" about two weeks ago because I've been spectacularly lazy on this blog over the 18 months since it's conception so my previous record was like one post in a row but still, I'm pretty pleased with myself. If you write a blog (and who doesn't these days?) you'll know that sometimes, it takes an almost superhuman effort to write a post, regardless of length or subject. It just seems a bit like work I suppose. At least it feels like work enough for me to procrastinate hopelessly whenever given the smallest of opportunities. Much like that whole education thing and y'know working too, procrastination has been one of the only constants in my life. Take it from me friends, there's only three things guaranteed in life - death, taxes and putting shit off til' you can't put it off no' mo'.

So, now I find myself hunched over my virus ridden laptop thumping at these keys and praying that something approaching readable comes out the other side. My only saving grace is that I really love music so thinking of dope songs to write about is never too tasking. Today I give you a 7+ minute wonder about the Middle East from Tom Waits. Stay with me here.

Tom Waits - 'Road to Peace'

We have no friends, America only has interests.

Astounding song. Astounding piece of writing. The ongoing situation in the Middle East is difficult to write about. Let's be straight about that. Whatever your opinion on the matter, you wouldn't think that it naturally lends itself well to a long story song. However, if you to write a song about it, it'd be very difficult not to come off sounding very political and/or very bias to one side or another. Tom Waits doesn't do that here because he's an incredible songwriter. Waits almost coldly writes straight at the heart of the issue (his point is no one's right. People are just dying and it's wrong. Yeah, there's a bit of 'fuck Bush' too, of course) yet by including the case study and back story of a young male suicide bomber he also creates tremendous amounts of empathy in the listener. I was hooked after the first verse and I'm guessing that, upon listening, you felt or feel the same.

Read the lyrics as you listen, there's so many quoteable lines in this song that they start sounding throwaway after a while. Put it this way, if I could write songs like this, I wouldn't procrastinate at all. I'd just be writing and writing. Sat in the same chair for years on end, looking crazier and crazier by the month, people crossing the road when they saw me, blissfully unaware of my lifes mission and my talent. Man, it'd be great. Actually, thinking about it, I've pretty much just described Tom Waits there haven't I? Eek.

And if God is great and God is good why can't he change the hearts of men?
Well maybe God himself is lost and needs help
Maybe God himself he needs all of our help
Maybe God himself is lost and needs help
He's out upon the road to peace

Song of The Day #19 - jj - 'My Life'

2011-04-19T12:02:00.000-07:00

Ventroliquist dolls are getting more real by the day.

jj sometimes work on what really should be an awful premise. They're a cool glacial (read as 'scandinavian') indie group that aside from releasing their own originals are also pretty keen on covering and reimagining modern songs, usually of the R&B/commercial hip-hop persuasion. Sounds dreadful doesn't it? You might think it'd be too cool for school, patronising and that these remakes would lose all aspects of what made the original songs great. With this song at least, you'd be dead wrong.

jj - 'My Life'

Grindin' with my eyes wide.

In case you didn't know, the original of this song is by a rapper called The Game. Now, he once released an album that, with my hat tipped to him, bounced from start to finish called 'The Documentary'. Since then, he's fallen out with all and sundry (Dre, 50 Cent, Eminem) and been as patchy as you like. He's every single west coast cliche you could ever imagine embodied to the point where he's a bit cartoonish. Still, he released a song about five years ago with Lil Wayne that coincided well with the latter really starting to get some serious exposure and it was consequently a big hit. It was called 'My Life' and this is embedded below. Listen out for Lil Wayne's attempt at having the most auto-tuned and processed hook ever recorded. Once you've done that give the reworked jj effort above a try. It's a million times colder, realer and harder hitting than Game's. This is how a song should sound when it's been reimagined. Rebuilt from bottom up and in this case, ice pumped through its veins.

I'm grindin' until I'm tired
They say you ain't grindin' until you die
So, I'm grindin' with my eyes wide
Lookin' to find a way through the day
The life of the night

Dear Lord, you took so many of my people
I'm just wondering why you haven't taken my life
What the hell am I doing right?

Song of The Day #18 - Ryan Adams - 'Meadowlake Street'

2011-04-18T13:30:00.001-07:00

Not that easy to get a picture of this guy off google without him looking like a ridiculous idiot.

I use to absolutely adore Ryan Adams. I mean that too. I think I've seen him live six times. I've bought all his albums a couple of times. I've got merchandise and I've got posters. Hell, I've got vinyls and I haven't even got a record player. Serious shit friends, serious shit. At some point down the line though, I fell out of love with him spectacularly. The stupid stoner behaviour he started indulging in like creating 'funny' websites and writing rambling rants on (his own) messageboards about space and pizza might've done it, yes, that'd be a fair assumption. Ultimately though, as I've stated many of times, you have to separate the artist from the music as much as you can lest you ruin everything. So I tried to ignore all that. Their gift is their tunes, not their personalities, beliefs or moral stances. So I let the stupid shit slide. Nah, for Ryan and I it was the records. They just kept getting worse and worse and worse. The live shows too. No self control and sometimes almost no awareness for about 95% of the audience. i.e. those of us that DON'T want to see a 18 minute Grateful Dead cover noodling jam that goes on and and on and on until it arrives nowhere.

Ryan Adams - 'Meadowlake Street'

Count 'em back to nothing till I got to you.

There are, of course, reasons that I was so taken with this guy once. His old band, Whiskeytown, remain one of my favourite acts and once upon a time as a solo artist he was on a particularly 'golden' (oof, poor pun) run. This song is taken from a double record called 'Cold Roses' that really did hit many more times than it missed and it's impossibly pretty. The drumming is really great and beautifully understated on this song right until about halfway through when it starts to build and build and build. Props to the kick drum. It's solid and ever present and absolutely vital. It's a kick drum as a heart beat. To be frank, this song from the line 'I feel like a dream that's not worth having/like a nervous joke/ain't nobody laughing' onwards really is breathtaking. Listen to it on summer nights when you're with people you care about, c'mon, share the warmth man.

I feel like a dream that's not worth having
Like a nervous joke ain't nobody laughing
Like somebody with nothing 'cause they don't know
What they're wanting
Tiny like the sand in the cracks of the drift wood
Washed up on the shore of an ocean of you

Song of The Day #17 - Jay-Z - 'U Don't Know Remix (Ft. M.O.P)'

2011-04-17T12:26:00.000-07:00

Al Capone swag.

Main thing I love about hip-hop: now and then it throws up songs that can only be described as ridiculous. There's something about a boundless beat versus one guy going crazy and snapping on it for all he's worth which you just don't get in other genres of music. This song right here showcases three individuals/groups at the very top of their game and the result leaves you bouncing, breathless and usually stretching for the repeat button. TOP TIP: Best listened to in the safety of your home so you can wild out and not worry about what "the world" thinks of you. Definitely not studying music or anything lame like that.

Jay-Z - 'U Don't Know Remix (Ft. M.O.P)'

You dudes is noodles, I gots more ziti to bake

The reason this song works so well and bumps so hard is quite simple: everyone on it is playing to their (considerable) strengths. Just Blaze is the king of chopping samples to his own end and that hyped up horns and hard as concrete snare sound he's copyrighted is just such a heady concoction when it's working right. Jay-Z is a jack of many trades and that's why he's the best but I've always thought that his A game is when he's on those spit-in-yer-face braggadacio verses like he lays down here. MOP are just damn good thugs, that's all. This remix needed some thugged out verses, Jay was only ever going to ask one group. Quite simple when you look at it like that isn't it. For once, a rap song with big name features really is worth more than the sum of it parts.

The original version of 'U Don't Know' is wicked too but you all know that right? It also benefits from not being taken from 'The Blueprint 2: The Gift & The Curse' like today's song. That album, of course, was total SHIT.

Razorblades under the tongue,
I will eat ya face.
Appetite for destruction, I aint gon starve anyday
Got a money hungry lawyer that'll eat the case
And thats just food for thought,
Don't let it go to waste
Nigga, bite the bullet until you stuffin ya face
I done forgot more than you ever learned
What you dont know will make your home a permanent urn, nicca.

Song of The Day #16 - The Replacements - 'Unsatisfied'

2011-04-16T14:18:00.001-07:00

No danger posed in sitting on the train track around here -trains are never running ffs.

I'm having serious computer issues over here dear readers. This virus I probably wrote about on here last month is back and it's worse than ever - a bit like that new Scream film then I suppose. It's hidden every file on my computer and as I type it is probably emptying my bank account of all £14.76 that I have left in there. I'll say it now - if you write viruses for a living and you're sending them to anyone but nasty bastard companies that steal from orphans or whatever then you should be shot. Look, I'm just a super cool brother tryin' to go about my daily business whilst still writing a very successful popular culture blog (that's this site, by the way), what have I done to deserve this error message polluted hell? Riddle me that nerdlingers.

The Replacements - 'Unsatisfied'

Everything you dream of is right in front of you.

I'm starting to get down to serious songs now. It's mainly because most of these posts are rushed last minute jobs (You would never guess right? RIGHT?) so I have to think of songs up on the spot. The songs that come most readily to my mind are the ones that are ingrained in me from literally thousands of plays. This is one of those songs.

As they did to many other people, The Replacements meant an awful lot to me during my late teens. I heard 'Tim' first and I can remember feeling almost relieved to have found a record like that. The fact that it was performed by these messy guys who just didn't give a shit about anything just probably helped too. I suppose people see aspects of themselves in the songs and albums of their favourite bands and back then these were the kind of dudes I would've liked to associate myself with.

What really appeals to me about the band, both then and still now, is how sometimes they'd really dumbfound you with a song that you just did not see coming. Take a listen to 'Here Comes a Regular' or 'Skyway' or 'Sadly Beautiful'. These are just beautifully simple quiet sad songs that you'd never expect in a million years from a band who released a song called 'Garys Got a Boner'. The choice here, 'Unsatisfied', showcases this incredible bands talents really well. I use to absolutely adore this song when I was 17. I still do.

Look me in the eye
And tell me that I'm satisfied

Song of The Day #15 - Townes Van Zandt - 'Mr Mudd and Mr Gold'

2011-04-15T12:49:00.001-07:00

So serious about country-folk music.

Everyone calls Townes Van Zandt "the songwriter's songwriter" which isn't really as big of a compliment as it originally sounds. That quote essentially means that TVZ is the choice person who writes songs of those that write songs themselves. It can work, of course, if you're say Bob Dylan's favourite songwriter then that's pretty cool but if you're the favourite songwriter of some shitheap then, not so much. As an artist, you can't choose who you influence in the same way you can't choose your family. Thems the breaks of being widely known and loved. Kurt Cobain, for example, is probably pretty pleased he offed himself when he did because there's no way he would've wanted to hear Pearl Jam.

Townes Van Zandt - 'Mr Mudd and Mr Gold'

Amigo, lay them raises down...

TVZ isn't a million miles away from the guy featured in yesterday's 'Song of The Day' - Brother Ali. It's a comparison often drawn but when you listen to the top lyricists in the folk/country music game and then the best rap rhymesayers then you've simply got two sets of people that are pretty similar as both are, first and for fantastic storytellers. In 'Mr Mudd & Mr Gold' Townes spins a tale about a card game that twists and turns and personifies at every junction. Quite brilliantly, the lyricism is as spellbinding as trying to follow which hand each person is holding is confusing. Townes's ability as a fingerpicker is also something that cannot be overlooked. Let me tell you now that I got an acoustic guitar for my 15th birthday along with a head full of dreams about sauntering off into the sunset and mesmerising whoever I came across with my magical songs and golden guitar ability. This song was my 'goal' song. The one I was aiming for, the one I wanted to learn above all others. I had a crack at it one Saturday morning and never picked the guitar up again. If anyone wants to take it off my hands they can have it for a fiver. It's at my parents house as I type, covered in sweat and old tears. Townes Van Zandt and his other worldy ability ruined my career. For that, he should be damned and blessed in equal measure.

Now Mudd he checked
and Gold bet all
Mudd he raised
and Gold did call
And his smiled just melted off his face
when Mudd turned over that diamond Ace

Song of The Day #14 - Brother Ali - 'The Preacher'

2011-04-14T03:14:00.000-07:00

Kiss me beautiful.

Yeah Brother Ali is a big white guy. Yes, he's muslim. Oh and he's albino too. Let's get all that stuff outta the way first. I find it really boring to talk on all that when the guy makes tracks like he does. When he's on top of his game like he is here on 'The Preacher' he's, put simply, a fire exporter. Infectious and furious, songs like these are made to be adored on first listen.

Brother Ali - 'The Preacher'

Hit me hard now.

II've been throwing in a few TOP TIPS to these posts recently. For this song I'll just say listen to it loud. Get those horns blasting out of your speakers whether you're in beaten up hatchback, your parents house or your own palace - it doesn't really matter. Blast this to the point of distortion. This is going to have to be a bit of a short post today because I'm off on a little city break for the night. If anyone sees me when I'm out and about, be sure to say hello and buy me a drink. I'm about 10 inches tall, mainly green and furry. I'll also roar at you and rip yo ass to shreds with my sharp teeth and hands that are, if I'm honest, a little pathetic and stunted. Peace.

If you know me, you know I
Love my family love my God
Before I knew either I loved my art
So I'm married to the pen till death do us part

Song of The Day #13 - Arctic Monkeys - 'Don't Sit Down 'Cause I've Moved Your Chair'

2011-04-13T13:47:00.000-07:00

Foolishly googled 'white monkey' as I thought it would find a picture of an arctic monkey. Apparently, they don't have monkeys in Antarctica.

ANOTHER new song. God DAMN I'm getting relevant again and all down wit da yoot and the internet. I almost feel sixteen again - where the britpop and 'Grand Theft Auto' at? This fantastically titled song is due to be the first official single from the not so fantastically titled fourth Arctic Monkeys album 'Suck It and See'. That album, incidentally, will also feature a song called 'Love Is a Lazerquest' which I think I may have even mentioned on here before. That's song title of the year hands down, I don't care what the song is like. Why? Well, because love is like a lazerquest isn't it? It usually involves guns, dark rooms and somewhere along the line there's usually a fat guy with a ponytail telling you your "breaking the rules" by "covering your targets up". Okay, enough about my love life already.

Arctic Monkeys - 'Don't Sit Down 'Cause I've Moved Your Chair'

Play that one about looking good on the dancefloor why dontcha fellas! Huh?

I like this. Big BIG riff which despite what you may think from reading these diatribes I write on here - I do like. If I were an intolerable bore I'd say something about working with Josh Homme on that last record rubbing off on the Arctic boys but as I say, I'm not a snore. This is a proper comeback single and I'll say here, I thought exactly that when I heard 'Crying Lightning' too and the album that followed that was just tuneless I thought.

Arctic Monkeys will, as long as they exist and even if everything else goes wrong, always have one redeeming feature though. That being Alex Turner's lyrics of course. Quintessentially British, he is blessed with a turn of phrase that is often as comic as it is clever and 'Don't Sit Down.....' is no different. Here he pretty much runs through a list of things that are inadvisable. Running with scissors, breaking mirrors, going to watch that Charlie Sheen stand up show. Things like that. I really admire his courage to use popular culture references and slang that sometimes seem so small time and so insular to the places he knows well. It's something I try to steer well clear of doing when I write lest I look like a little town loser that sucks his thumb yet when Alex Turner does it, it makes his songs sound and perhaps more impressively, read, fantastically well. Welcome back lads.

Find a well known hardman and start a fight,
Wear your shell suit on bonfire night.
Fitting a circular hole with a peg that's square,
But just don't sit down 'cause I've moved your chair.

Song of The Day #12 - Jamie xx - 'Rolling In The Deep (REMIX) ft. Childish Gambino'

2011-04-12T14:01:00.000-07:00

Totally like an inverse ballot card.

First things first, The cool kids are gonna love this. 1. It's by Jamie xx (of, DUH, the xx) 2. It's a really good pop song (uncool) remixed (cool) 3. It's got Childish Gambino on it. You know what though? It's more than the sum of its parts this. Simple really because it's very well put together and Adele's single was fantastic and Gambino is killing everything he touches these days so yeah, shoot me, I guess I'm a cool kid too.

Jamie xx - 'Rolling In The Deep (REMIX) ft. Childish Gambino'

There's a fire starting in my heart.

Adele is really owning at the moment isn't she? It's almost unbelievable how many records she's sold both here and 'across the pond' as tossers say. I look at her success this way - Amy Winehouse had it for a while before she started resembling a goblin more and more each day. She then passed the (by then) cracky and soiled baton to Duffy who fully capitalised on this backwards looking pop that has heard a motown/soul record or two thing. Duffy couldn't keep it up for too long either. Maybe too much diet coke. So ultimately the baton, which by now had a face that looked like a Welsh duck, was passed to Adele and that's where we at right now. I can't think who's next. Probably Bieber with a wig on.

This remix is fantastic though and I'm not at all surprised by that - all three artists involved are just damn good at what they do. Extra kudos to Jamie xx for remixing a tonne of songs recently and doing them properly - i.e. he's actually adding (or can be taking away to similarly good impact) to songs with his chops and changes. Essentially, if you're not going to add to something by dabbling about with it, just leave it alone man. DJs that do those commercial dance remixes of songs from the 80s/early 90s PLEASE TAKE NOTE IN PERMANENT MARKER. I'm talking to you Ian Van Dahl etc.

Come back to me like hipsters to blogspot.

Song of The Day #11 - of Montreal - 'The Past Is a Grotesque Animal'

2011-04-11T13:51:00.000-07:00

If you can write a song like this, you're allowed to look like that.

I make no secret of how much I love music. I try to do it in the nicest way possible and I genuinely hope I come across more enthusiastic than I do anything else. Still, these outward pourings of passion often lead me to talking to people about music. People who like all sorts. Good stuff, bad stuff, The Script. Everything. Still, there are some songs that - when asked for recommendations - I know are sure fire winners. 'The Past Is a Grotesque Animal' is undoubtedly, hands down, a die cast example of this. It's 11:53 long. It's a sprawling mess of heartbreak, regret, sex, defiance, classic literature, beauty and the gestapo. It runs and swaggers, swaggers and runs. Falls over, gets back up, falls over again. It's just incredible. It's a song for when everything has gone wrong, gone the opposite way to how it should in every conceivable manner. This is how venting, in the most brilliant and reckless of ways, sounds.

of Montreal - 'The Past Is a Grotesque Animal'

Do I have to scream in your face?

I'd say here that this is the best song I've posted so far in this 'Song of The Day' simply because there's nothing else like it. 'Let's Not Shit Ourselves' by Bright Eyes perhaps is vaguely similar but that's mainly just because it's really long, raging and all over the place. This song truly stands alone and I've listened to it many many times since I discovered it a while back. In fact, considering it's length I've probably spent like a day just listening to this song. Sounds a lot but then again, my game time on Call of Duty is around ten days so yeah, comparatively productive.

With a song of this size, it's difficult to pick favourite parts. If pushed I'd say it's between the below moments I guess:

- That crazy robotic sound (could be a warped guitar effect or a synth) after "We're always touching by underground wires."
- The line "We want our film to be beautiful, not realistic." - Pretty much sums up life for me.
- "Let's tear this shit apart." EXACTLY what I do every time I listen to this. Pillows be gettin' punched, floors jumped on with little care for the neighbours downstairs beating off or whatever they do down there. Transcendent shit.
- The bass line that introduces the song and just about holds the sprawling riot together for the duration.

Stop reading this blog and listen to the song. I mean that for once.

I'm flunking out,
I'm flunking out,
I'm gone,
I'm just gone,
But at least I author my own disaster,
At least I author my own disaster.

Song of The Day #10 - The National - 'Think You Can Wait'

2011-04-10T13:31:00.001-07:00

Not on at any cinemas near me, in case you were wondering. They're still showing 'The King's Speech'.

FINALLY he posts a new song! I thought it was the best idea. Y'know. Try and keep my little corner of the internet current and relevant instead of just going on and on and on about songs that have been out for decades every day. So, this song from The National is featured on the soundtrack of the above film and it's really great too. As is the way of this band, it's a real sad slow burner that probably doesn't sound too hot on a sunny day in the park but when things are generally a bit grey, inside and out, there's no one who does music like this better.

TOP TIP: Best enjoyed when you're walking home pissed looking at streetlights and trying to attribute some sort of misguided poetic meaning to them.

The National - 'Think You Can Wait'

I'll pull the devil down with me one way or another.

Sharon Von Etten adds guest vocals to the track and they really blend beautifully with Berninger's down at heel and matter of vocal rumble. I'll be damned if she doesn't sound exactly like Lisa Hannigan who use to sing with Damien Rice a few years back. Anyone remember her? No? Thought not, still they sound identical is what I'm saying. Video above is taken from YouTube and is spliced with scenes from 'Win Win' which is out now. Naturally the YouTube comments listed for this video are interesting. There's about a hundred people moaning about how audio from the film is dubbed over the band in this clip. I guess they've got a point but as we all know people on YouTube comments lists are usually one or more of about seven things: moaning bitches who'll whinge about anything, thick as shit, racist, 12 years old, thick as shit, something about Bieber or thick as shit.

The main reason I've included this song today is the same as it is every day with these posts - 'Think You Can Wait' (like the past nine entries) is a special special song I cannot listen to once. It starts, I get lost, I press repeat. That's a magical thing.

We've been running a sleepless run
Been away from the baby way too long
We've been holding a good night gone
We've been losing our exits one by one

Song of The Day #9 - Sin Fang Bous - 'Lies'

2011-04-09T14:34:00.000-07:00

So serious about indie rock.

Until about three minutes ago, I didn't know what this guy from this band looked like. I've got his record and I've listened to it an awful lot of times but still, I've never google image searched him or read any reviews that have featured a picture so yeah, now I know he looks like that. I'm not exactly shocked. I mean, I didn't exactly think he was going to look like a member of Scooter or a bouncer. Still, thanks for making 'Clangour' generic Scandinavian indie man, I've listened to it a tonne and I love it.

Sin Fang Bous - 'Lies'

She's the sun when I'm the rain.

It sounds bad to say but I only really dig this Sin Fang Bous record for one reason - in places it sounds a lot like 'Lovers' by The Sleepy Jackson and that album was amazing. Essentially, I've been trying to find 'Lovers II' since I first heard it. No, don't tell me to listen to the second Sleepy Jackson album - it was a mess. Anyway, this song particularly could really slot into the middle section of 'Lovers' perfectly. That's my overriding though but I also think it sounds how Animal Collective should sound if they stopped pissing about.

Essentially, it's all about the drums here. Drumming, and good examples of it, have become a bit of a feature on this blog over the past year. I still know nothing about the discipline but I'm certainly learning how to appreciate the old skins and spot great examples when I come across them. 'Lies' builds and builds upon a central drum beat that adds a fantastic energy and urgency to the record. Let it sweep you away.

I wanted to sleep but when I closed my eyes
I wanted to write something true
I wanted to sleep but when I closed my eyes
Saw something real but only came up with
Lies, lies, lies, lies

Song of The Day #8 - Neil Young - 'Philadelphia'

2011-04-08T14:49:00.000-07:00

"Hi! Just so you know - I go mouldy within three minutes of being opened."

In 1993, 'Philadelphia' director Jonathan Demme asked songwriting giants Bruce Springsteen and Neil Young to write a song each to be featured on the OST of his groundbreaking film. Now for me, that's a pretty tough gig. To give you a bit of context here in case you live under a multitude of rocks, the film's about a guy (Tom Hanks) who sues a law firm for unfair dismissal and was one of the first major motion pictures to tackle AIDS discrimination. In short, it ain't exactly squirting a quick pop song out to accompany 'Finding Nemo' or whatever. Neil and Bruce approached this task in totally different ways yet both got similarly stunning results. That's why they're both bosses. Neil, however, won out.

Neil Young - 'Philadelphia'

HD video is for pussies.

I'd like to quantify that statement up there a little further actually. The Springsteen song from this film, 'Streets of Philadelphia' is amazing as well. Please don't get that twisted. It's just this song from old shakey here is a stone cold wounder. It's just so delicate, so unsure of itself in its beauty. It assumes nothing and doesn't ask for much more. I've played it seven times in a row now and each time I've heard a new favourite part. I've now settled on the very start when the main piano part comes in after the sweeping 'Phhillaadeeellphhhiaaaaa...'. That piano can roll on forever as far as I'm concerned.

Obviously that video of Neil up there is a live take. You should've guessed that by the fact that its taken from an awards ceremony with an audience and tuxedoes and is introduced by Johnny Depp, you idiot. Still, I think it kinda suits. It's clearly ripped from a VCR which is cool with me. Songs like this weren't made to downloaded as FLAC files from iTunes and played through your HD stereo system you "hi fidelity" geek.

City of brotherly love
Place I call home
Don't turn your back on me

Song of The Day #7 - Elton John - 'I Want Love'

2011-04-07T13:54:00.000-07:00

Actually no holds barred old.

"ELTON JOHN?! Elton....John...As in that guy that would look like a proper old man (as in OAP) if you stripped him of his ridiculous wig and even more ridiculous sunglasses?...you mean *That* guy?" "Yeah, that Elton John." "Elton John though?! That guy who says something a bit edgy/shocking about whoever happens to be getting column inches on a certain day now and then to stay in the news - that guy?" Yeah, that guy. "And the song your posting isn't even one of those good old ones like 'Rocket Man' and shit?" Nah, it's a sort of new song.

Enough of that already. Elton John released in an album in 2002 called 'Songs From The West Coast' that no one apart from me liked. It got little press at its time of release (aside for the star turns of Robert Downey Jr. and Justin Timberlake in the videos of the accompanying singles) and I'm utterly damned if I've heard anyone mention it since but, yeah, I still listen to it all the time. The two leading singles from the record were good old piano ballads about wanting love and rueful reflections on times that have passed and I'd be lying if I was to say those aren't central themes of the majority of the record but yeah, put all your predjudices to one side, forget about that possum wig and listen to the man. He's got and always had a great great voice. TOP TIP: Just try not to picture his face as he's singing.

'I Want Love' is a beautiful song and the choice of Downey Jr as the star and subject of this video is an inspired choice. I'm all over this MOR piano shit.

Elton John - 'I Want Love'

Cheer up Robert. Everyone likes that film of yours - 'Iron Man' - despite me thinking it was SHIT.

I want love, but it's impossible

A man like me, so irresponsible

Song of The Day #6 - Ciara - 'Oh'

2011-04-06T12:51:00.000-07:00

Ciara, after going to the gym presumably.

Before you say it, yes, I do listen to current music too. Please try and remember that there are a lot of days in the month of April (30 if you must know) so I'm trying to keep the latest next level shit for later in the month when both my and your interest in this ridiculous 'Song of The Day' proposition is seriously on the wane rooney. Why have I chosen this song? This song quite simply does the classic chart R&B turn of smooth female verse/guest male rapper spot better than any other I can recall. That's why.

Ciara - 'Oh'

Turn it up and make the speakers bleed.

Released in 2005, 'Oh' is a song I've returned to time and time again since. It sees three artists at the top of their respective games who, if we're being brutally honest, only went one way after this single. Just at different speeds. Ciara, whilst never a one hit wonder ('Goodies', '2 Step') never topped this song. Ludacris, back then, was the best rent-a-verse commercial rapper in the game. Finally, producers Dre & Vidal make this song with that smooth southern beat that they never got anywhere near matching at any other point in their career(s). Everything in its right place. I still find it utterly exhilarating when Ludacris' self-shoutouts give way to that first line of his "Southerrrn styyyle, get willlddd, old skkool comin' downnn in a differrrunnt colour whip whip whip." and I'm quite positive I always will.

They got that southern cookin'
They got them fellas lookin'
Thinkin' I was easy I can see it
That's when I say no, what fo'?

Song of The Day #5 - Johnny Cash - 'God's Gonna Cut You Down'

2011-04-05T14:01:00.000-07:00

Some people you don't mess with.

I visited the Grand Canyon four years ago and it left, like it always does, quite an impression on me. It's enormous, imposing, encompassing, otherworldly. It's many things like that. Not too long after that visit I was listening to Johnny Cash and thought similair things. Cash is one of those artists that is sewn into the very fabric of America. He's someone millions can identify with for different reasons. He's huge, he's the Grand Canyon.

Johnny Cash - God's Gonna Cut You Down

This video got a fair bit of press on its release due to the multitude of stars it features. If you haven't seen it, I mean actual stars there by the way. Rick Rubin, Jay-Z, Keith Richards. Proper heroes like. It's filmed as a stop start motion that works really well with the montage of famous faces. More than that though, the song resonates a lot louder than all these mugs you see adorning your papers and magazines on a daily basis. This song is a rumble from the earth. If anything , this song sounds like it is sung by God himself. This thing strikes fear into all wrongdoers so you all better know who you are.

Song of The Day #4 - Eels - 'Grace Kelly Blues'

2011-04-04T13:33:00.000-07:00

More Grace than (R) Kelly.

There's always a different reason why I pick the track that will feature on here as 'Song of the day'. Some bang (K.R.I.T yesterday), some are sweet (The Elected on Friday) and some just do something to me that I can't put my finger on and that's Eels today. See I was just scanning through my iTunes library trying to find something particularly standout and although there's some great music on there, nothing was really offering much resistance to my grubby little digit hitting that shuffle button. Then I saw 'Grace Kelly Blues'. Now I use to be an enormous Eels fan in my youth. ENORMOUS. In fact, buying 'Beautiful Freak' was a massive moment for me as it's the first proper album I can remember having on cassette. By 'proper' there, I mean I've conveniently forgotten a whole truckload of shit I got before that record. BF was the first good album I bought at the age of about 12. That's what I really mean. So alt man, just so alt.

Eels - 'Grace Kelly Blues'

The kid in the mall works that hot dog on the stick.

I mainly dig this song because it's really nice to drift away too. And there's a viola. And a marching band. And it was the first song to be released following the boldly beautiful yet strikingly bleak 'Electro Shock Blues'. I particularly dig how that grandiose funeral opening melts away for E to come in in with that voice of his. A voice which is made for cliche music writing where you basically say plenty of synonyms for words like "weathered" and "worn". To me, it's just great and sounds like an old friend that's been through some tough times and come out the other side.

But me I'm feeling pretty good as of now
I'm not so sure when I got here or how
Sun melt in the fake smile away
I think, you know, I'll be okay.

Song of The Day #3 - Big K.R.I.T. - 'Tell Me Different'

2011-04-03T13:11:00.000-07:00

King Revealed.

Big K.R.I.T. is finally getting some recognition. Several solid mixtapes and numerous killer guest spots have taken K.R.I.T. from unsigned outsider to XXL freshman in double quick time and whilst that all sounds pretty impressive, it's important to remember that jokers like Lil B are part of the freshman class this year too. To put that record straight, K.R.I.T. owns every single one of the other freshman this year over and over again. If they're freshman, this guy has already finished his PhD.

Big K.R.I.T. - 'Tell Me Different'

Play yo' iPod and don't say shit.

'Tell Me Different' displays K.R.I.T.'s best characteristics well. It's clever, sharp and so accomplished it really sounds like it has been cut by a seasoned pro. It's an obvious and oft observation to make but this could be Pimp C or one of them OG's on this thing right here. K.R.I.T's going put the hip hop game in the chokehold this year like 50 threatened to ten years ago now. Thing is, he means it. King Revealed In Time indeed.

C'mon, who's gon' tell him different?

Go get you a singing hook
a beat with an 808
some "ays"
and some "ohs"
and that's all it takes

Song of The Day #2 - Calexico - Guns of Brixton

2011-04-02T13:49:00.000-07:00

All guns blazing.

Guess what? Well, I'm already wishing I hadn't entered this competition to write on here every day. Quelle surprise. Wanna know why? Here's why. I was planning to write this post at home but then at the last minute plans changed and I'm now at a friends for some drinks. Imagine that for a second if you could. So, I get around here and start drinking with a couple of bros. I then recall having to make this post and say "can I borrow your laptop to post on my blog please?" This isn't what bros were expecting me to say but nevertheless they give me the laptop. So they're drinking and im blogging. Essentially, I'm the guy at the hardcore orgy who gets a Rubik's cube out and starts trying to furiously solve.

Calexico - 'Guns of Brixton'

Goodbye to Brixton sun.

Today's song, it doesn't take a genius to know, is a cover. It's an incredibly famous song by The Clash and that's why I love this version so much. Calexico have completely reimagined this tune and coated it in dust and wire like only the can. The lead vocal is astounding and is delivered in a way that sounds so defiant it's very difficult not to be stirred by it. Songs like this really will not back down. When the verse below is delivered and your left with that question, you know that there really isn't any choice.

When they kick out your front doors
How you gonna come?
With your hands on your head
Or on the trigger of your gun?

Song of The Day #1 - The Elected - Fireflies In a Steel Mill

2011-04-01T14:52:00.000-07:00

So I was talking to the guy who writes the evening's empire earlier and he was chatting about how he was planning to post a song of the day every day this month. I've thought about doing this before but never done it because a) I'm lazy and b) everyone does it. However, said guy then commented about how I couldn't do it because I've never applied myself at any point in my miserable little life*.

So, not being a man to shy away from a challenge unless it involves any massive amounts of effort or physical exertion, I thought I'd take it on. A song a day, throughout April. Song one below. Let's go!

The Elected - 'Fireflies In a Steel Mill'

Your cheque's signed in disappearing ink...

Oh this is a good song and the album it comes from, 'Sun, Sun, Sun', is just perfect for the summer that might arrive someday soon. It's chockful of harmonies, some really great swearing (you know I love that) and to be honest, it sounds a quite a lot like The Eagles in a really cool way. Yes, that is possible.

Back to 'Fireflies In a Steel Mill' though. For me, this song is nice enough to a point and benefits from some lyrics that are actually a lot better than you might first think. However, there's a key change just after the songs title is sung where the whole thing ramps up a fair few notches and explodes. It's just fantastic, a joy to behold. Like fireflies in a steel mill.

And it was hard
When he told her
Those ideas that never get finished
Well, that's what we are
We're like the places
You just never see
You'd read about them, you know you'd love 'em
That's how you fell in love with me

*He didn't actually say that.

The State of The Cinema Today

2011-03-28T13:22:00.000-07:00

Annoying 15 year olds texting and being 15 and annoying out of shot.

I usually go to the cinema fairly often. I like it. I like the whole process of it. Sitting in the dark for a couple of hours, eating/drinking some unhealthy stuff, coming out and being amazed when you look at your watch each and every time. It's really pleasureable. This all depends, of course, on what film you watch. Usually, I find that there's something to watch. I'm not talking the best film you've ever seen here, oh no, more just a film that you can passably watch for a couple of hours which you can then call "alright" when you leave. The latest big credible release usually sates my desires - recently The Fighter, Black Swan, Inception etc etc. If nothing like that is on, the reserve list can include many things. Some of those Judd Apatow films that are all very similar are okay, the odd indie film can be interesting from time to time and animation films often are pretty entertaining.

There's a reason I'm sounding so disinterested here - I wanted to go to the cinema tonight. Or at least I wanted to go to the cinema until I saw the goddamn listings. Now, I'm one to judge a film outright without knowing nothing about it so here's my rundown of what's on at the cinema at the moment. It's dire.

Limitless

Retirement taxi for De Niro!

This film stars Bradley Cooper and that old bloke. Bradley Cooper I find impossibly smug and I've only ever seen him in 'The Hangover' - a film I watched sat motionless waiting for LOLs that never arrived. 'Limitless' is about a guy (Bradley Cooper) who somehow discovers a pill that allows him to create a perfect version of himself. I'm guessing he makes himself attractive to women, good at untraceable crimes and probably pretty dope at backflips too. Either way, he'll be doing it to a cinema audience that doesn't include my slacker ass.

Battle: Los Angeles

Why can't aliens be hellbent on destroying Hollywood studios?

Seriously? C'mon. "Earth is attacked by unknown forces hellbent on destruction..." is something I just read about this thing. How many times must Hollywood roll this shit out and more importantly, who is still paying to watch this sort of dreck? I honestly can't believe it. Can I just also say here that I saw 'War of The Worlds' at the cinema and was firmly siding with the alien robots or whatever those things after Tom Cruise and his family were. Doesn't he believe that aliens gave birth to the first human in the heart of a mountain anyway? Why not turn that into a film whilst you're at it Tom? Huh?

Anuvahood

Give me strength.

This has got Richard Blackwood in it.

Paul

"We've got how much in our joint account?!"

The best review I found of this film online was from the New York Daily News and they wrote "A decent comedy, good-natured if unspecial, amusing if rarely hilarious." Now, to me, that's pretty much how I'd review someone's Grandad. Old blokes are usually pretty funny aren't they? I mean, they don't have you rolling in the aisles but they might say something un-PC which you might chuckle at. That's how I feel about Paul. It's probably alright but if I wanted to be mildly amused I'd go and eat some Spam fritters with your Grandad. Plus, these two have far too much money and I'd rather not contribute anymore thanyouverymuch,

Rango

I've been cracking up at this face for about five minutes. Ha. Look at him!

Aight, I'll give you this one. This actually does look pretty cool and if it was on at the right time I would've seen it. This film is about a cowboy lizard. I'm down with things like that. Tom Cruise probably is too but only because he probably believes cowboy lizards created the heavens and the earth. Someone on metacritic has given this film a rating of 0/100 because they went to see it for their son's 7th birthday and it was appropriate. Things like that get me down. For example, say I had a son andsay I took him to the cinema to see a film called 'Cock Wars' expecting it to be about an innocent flick about cartoon chicken fights...and it wasn't. Say instead it was a hardcore porno, well, I'd be shocked and appalled but I'd still probably give it 1/100 on metacritic. ZERO OUT OF A HUNDRED. Come on man..

Sleeping With The E-nemy

2011-03-27T14:18:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to get your attention with this elephant playing basketball.

I've done some writing for another blog. I know I know. Judas Iscarot etc etc. If you're really bored or you're in prison or something, check out OH YEAH ME TOO. I've just started writing for it and if you're as cynical, sarcastic and bitter as I am then the chances are that you'll enjoy it too.

My articles, if you must know, are 5 Easy Ways to Stay Cool This Summer and Five Institutions That Are More Awesome Than They Used To Be.

Also, can I just say that there probably was some cruelty involved in getting that elephant to play basketball up there. It's not the kind of sport I imagine they take to naturally. If you look at his face, though, he looks like he's loving it. Look a bit closer and you'll see it's a misplaced smile that hides a thousand secrets.

"Now if there's a smile on my face/it's only there tryin' ta fool the public."

Gambino is a Mastermind

2011-03-15T13:50:00.000-07:00

"This game is ablaze, call me arcade fire."

Donald Glover is an American actor and comedian that, stateside at least, has made a pretty good name for himself. He stars in a hit NBC comedy series called 'Community' which naturally I've never seen nor heard of and a few checks of little known search site Google suggest that, yeah, this guy is a decent sized deal over there. Piers Morgan, however, also has a primetime show in America now so maybe they just price mega big dickheads highly over there.

Donald Glover is also Childish Gambino. Childish Gambino is his rapping side project which, to be frank, has absolutely no right whatsoever to be as quarter as good as it actually is. I stumbled across his new single 'Freaks and Geeks' the other day and my God, this funny man has made the best rap song I've heard this year. He very much reminds me of Lil Wayne when Wayne hit that golden run of form where he had reined his crazy in just enough but was still off the chain line after line, bar after bar. I'm talking 'Da Drought 3' through to 'The Leak' EP and upto and including about half of 'Tha Carter 3' here. In fact, listen to 'Freaks and Geeks' a couple of times and tell me it doesn't remind you a fair bit of 'A Milli'. It's those handclaps buried deep in the beat and the flow that sounds like it's being made up on the spot as it flies outta your speakers. There's also a tonne of dirty ass lines about women which sum up Wayne from that era up until, well, present day really. The man has a song called 'Pussy Monster' lest we forget.

'Freaks and Geeks' is taken from a 5 track EP of the same name and is very much a hallmark of that mini album. DOWNLOAD IT HERE VIA PRETTYMUCHAMAZING. The songs are very concise and a lot of the beats actually sound like they could be culled from parts of electro indie songs. The rhymes are sharp as anything and Gambino sounds so urgent at every turn, like he's been waiting for this platform his whole life. Quite simply, I haven't been able to stop listening to these five tracks since I got the EP a few days ago. 'Freaks and Geeks' also has such a cool video. See that and an acoustic version of the song below, both are equally worth your time. People as multi talented as this guy make me sick to my stomach with my own mediocrity.

'Freaks and Geeks'

'Freaks and Geeks (acoustic)'

Who doesn't need a doctor?

2011-02-25T15:18:00.000-08:00

Real talk: Who would you most like to perform open heart surgery on you - Dr Dre, Dr Seuss or Dr Evil?

Dr Dre's second single 'I Need a Doctor' is his real comeback. It's not the first single to be taken from the long awaited 'Detox' but its definitely set to be the biggest. Firstly, it sees Dre reunited with his protege Eminem Secondly, there's actually been a bit of a build up for this one with snippets being leaked all over the internet forthe last couple of weeks and the video budget is pretty big. It's massive actually. Put it this way, it covers stacking a Ferrari, for starters. Still, there's a few things I was thinking whilst watching it for the first time and, as always, I thought I'd share them with you splendid bunch of halfwits and geniuses.

+ Dre's body is ridiculous. Just look at him. He looks like he's made out of lilos (if anyone knows the plural of lilo then let me know) for God's sake. In fact, I've got Dr Dre worked out here. Let's look at the facts - 'Straight Outta Compton' came out in '88. 'The Chronic' in '92. That's 23 and 18 years ago respectively. What I'm trying to say is, dude's old. In fact, Dre is 46. To that end, and being in the entertainment business and all, he's gotta try and look young, I get that. That body though. C'mon Andre. He's basically doing the body equilavent of that thing where you're talking to someone who's eating a plate of chips and you go "Woh! Look! a monster!" they turn around, and you steal a chip. It's called a distraction technique. If ya get big muscles people might not look at your old ass face. That sorta thing.

+ MTV often run 'Making The Video' programmes where they show you backstage and all that. These programmes don't even begin to convey how awkward I think making music videoes must actually be. Take 'I Need a Doctor' and in particular, the scene where Eminem is getting his first encounter with the comatose and broken Dre. He looks at him, is overtaken with emotion upon seeing his mentor in such a bad state and then spits his verse about saving Dre because Dre once saved him etc. What is this scene actually though, in real life? Well, really its Dre laying down in some warehouse studio, closing his eyes and then putting an oxygen mask on. Eminem then has to lip sync his verse and bust his hand movements out over Dre's horizontal (mammoth) frame. Pretty funny mental image. At some point someone then has to shout "CUT!" and they all just slunk off back to their Hollywood Hills mansions and prescription drugs addictions.

+ Respect to Dre for splicing the video with flashback shots and clips of his past. Particularly N.W.A. shots. Mainly because this song is a far, far cry from all that. In every way possible. Tone, years and let's be honest, basic quality.

+ Eminem with brown hair still looks wrong. You can't help but think you've caught him off guard when you see a picture of him with that sad little brunette buzz cut. It's like walking in on your dad putting his toupee on. Dad can say nothing. All he can do is look at you, his face racked with shame and disappointment. All you're left with is the thought that under that Elvis quiff of his, Daddy actually looks like a boiled egg.

+ 'irlm2414' on the YouTube comments of this video says " dont understand how people dislike it... the people who dislike it probably dont know about music or they not even fans of dre nd em,, well if ur not a fan dont come watch the video nd that way you dont loose loose your time." I don't know what any of that means.

It's good to have Dre back anyway. I'm not massively keen on this song, I must say. I quite like the female hook but other than that, nah. Eminem's and Dre's verses are exactly what you'd expect from them, regrettably. Yeah, you know what I'm saying, this plane is on auto-pilot, yet again.

"I'm the one who's fighting."

2011-02-20T13:25:00.000-08:00

What has happened to Bruce Wayne? Chill on the crack Bruce, God.

The first quarter of 2011 was always going to be about three films for me. 'Black Swan', 'The Fighter' and 'True Grit.' Last Saturday, I saw 'The Fighter' at my local cinema and if you'll allow me to assume the character of Meat Loaf momentarily, I'll say "...two outta three ain't bad." By that, I mean I've only seen two out of three so far (True Grit this week) and they were more than 'ain't bad' actually, both were, very much in their own ways, very very good films. That really didn't work there, I'll admit. I just wanted to mention Meat Loaf, okay?

'The Fighter' centralises around the relationship between two brothers. Dickie (Bale) is a washed up former champion who is hooked on crack and bad living. Delusional about making his "big comeback" he is his little brother Micky's (Wahlberg) hero, biggest fan and in equal amounts, main source of inspiration and overriding negative influence. My readers are all people with good taste and I'm sure you'll watch this film, for that reason I won't spoil the story too much here. I'll just say that based on the true story of ex WBU champion Micky Ward, it's safe to say that Micky's fights and battles are fought outside of the ring as much as they are in it. Bale has, naturally, lost an incredible amount of weight to play the crack addled Dickie and if you read reports that I just googled maybe as much as a THIRD of his body weight. Reports that Madonna is on the 'Dickie Diet' still remain unconfirmed.

I'm hung up on you.

As always, a film is only as good as its actors/actresses. 'The Fighter' excels here with Bale, Wahlberg and Melissa Leo all putting in memorable performances. Bale's madcap and unpredictable, Wahlberg put upon and downtrodden and Leo is fantastic as the dominating matriarch. Above all, though, what makes 'The Fighter' a story worth telling and a film worth watching is the fact that the producers had, due to the nature of the film, a real need to include what I like to call 'emotional sporting moments set to music'. I'm not sure if anyone else experiences this like I do but man, emotional sporting clips just tear me up. Whether it's someone clinching victory in the dying seconds or breaking down in tears at a cruel defeat, things like this always coincide with me getting something in my eye. Micky's final championship shot fight is a great example of this and for me, was pretty emotional. I went to watch this film with my girlfriend and we've been going out for years now, for that reason she's cool with me wearing sunglasses to the cinema if we're watching emotional sporting films.

Oh because I haven't done any puns so far,'The Fighter' is a real knockout that keeps you hooked into the final round etc etc. Ten points for including 'How You Like Me Now?' by The Heavy on the soundtrack too. Tune is the definition of inspiring next level shit. Fact fans, I just played it three times consecutively whilst doing topless sit-ups. I am, however, happy to concede that I still look more like Mark Zuckerberg than Mark Wahlberg :*(

Indie Rockers Can Swear Too - #4 - Wilco

2011-02-02T13:30:00.000-08:00

Wonder if anyone has ever been to A&E after burning themselves by burning a flag. Smash the state!

Music can be like a life yardstick sometimes. You can peg memories onto songs, albums or musical movements and know that forever and a day those notes will make you instantly recall something or another. Happy and sad, meaningful and inconsequential. It really can be quite powerful. For me, I still can't hear 'Wannabe' without wanting to be 10 again sliding on my knees around the local disco with the girls looking on adoringly. I think it was adoring glances, I didn't really have any concept of reading emotions back then. They were probably thinking "He's going to ruin his trousers doing that. The child." Still, you know what I'm getting at here.

Today's swear song, for quite a long time, reminded me of being naked. Yes, I know. Grotesque. Still, read on and all will become clear. Like, erm, how clear you can see once the rain has gone.

4. Wilco - Ashes of American Flags

"All my lies are always wishes..."

'Yankee Hotel Foxtrot' is my favourite album of all time. I make no secret of it. I say that because I believe it to be faultless from start to finish and I'm still amazed by how every single second of it feels deliberate, considered. I bought 'Yankee...' when it was released in 2002 and for the first few months of my ownership, a weird pattern started emerging. For some reason or another I was struggling to find the time to listen to new CDs I had bought then. The only real window I had was when I was in the bath so this is what I did with 'Yankee...'. Thing was, for about a month I only listened to it in the bath and after a while the only thing I could associate the album with was, of course, bath times. Tweedy would chime in with some of his cryptic and coded lines and all I'd be thinking of would be lavender bubble bath and looking down at my exposed little beer gut and enormous appendage. In short, I nearly ruined this record with my ridiculous mental associations. With time, though, 'Ashes of American Flags' was the song that started to hook me in. I started listening to the song obsessively and then the record and before long, I didn't listen to anything else for the rest of the year.

A few years ago I use to have this recurring dream that was pretty interesting. It was more dramatic, in a dark way, actually but yeah, here's how it played out. In the dream, I'd be in an exam hall doing, guess what, an exam. Not alone, there'd be a whole load of people all doing the exam too. Anyway, I'd turn over the page and the only question on the paper read "Write out a song word for word overleaf. If you make any mistakes, your life will end." So, as I said pretty dark, isn't it? Simple rules really, write a song out, get it right and live. Ever since then I've often thought about what song I'd do if that situation ever occurred.* I'm now quite sure it would be 'Ashes of American Flags'. Simply beacause there aren't any records I know better than 'Yankee...' and no songs I love or have listened to more than 'Ashes..'. This song, for me, is the archetypal Jeff Tweedy lyric too. Obtuse and abstract to a point yet still catching you off guard now and then with stunningly simple lines that need no deciphering, "I know I would die if I could come back new," it doesn't get any plainer or remorseful than that.

As if it wasn't good enough anyway, there's also a great curse here. A curse that actually makes a beautifully poetic point. Listen out for it and then change all your forum signatures and engravings on your iPod. Go on, it'll make you look coolly detached and clever. I promise.

# of words - 1
Severity of words - The second worst one to youknowwhat
Manner of delivery - It's a good point.

Indie Rockers Can Swear Too - #3 - Elliott Smith

2011-02-01T12:46:00.000-08:00

Face of a boxer, voice of an angel.

Three days into 'Indie Rockers...' now and we're yet to have a really sad one so, without any further ado, here's Elliott Smith. Don't look at me like that now. I mean, like I was ever going to write a succession of these posts without featuring him at least once, c'mon man.

3. Elliott Smith - I Didn't Understand

"Tonight, tomorrow and every day..."

This entry is inspired by an exchange I recently had on my Twitter about Elliott Smith and in particular this song. If you know the man's music fairly well, you'll know that I could've picked about ten songs of Elliott's for this list. Safe to say, he was down with a naughty word. 'I Didn't Understand' is a bit different to most simply because it just takes your breath away, away, away. It starts out a little like 'Because' by The Beatles (which Elliott once covered, incidentally) and ends up as the best acapella song you have, and ever will, hear. Not once do you notice the lack of instruments when there's so many angelic voices swirling around beneath that crushingly resigned and impossibly pretty lead vocal.

This is one of those songs that you absolutely cannot have on in the background - seriously, try it. Really all you can do is sit still and listen. Only when it is finished can you then get on with your little life and whatever you were doing. Just listen to the song, you'll see what I mean.

# of words - 3
Severity of words - The second worst one to youknowwhat x 2, an everyday one it is sort of okay for kids to use.
Manner of delivery - Sad but very listenable. Over and over again.

Indie Rockers Can Swear Too - #2 - Rilo Kiley

2011-01-31T12:22:00.000-08:00

"Hey. Do you wanna talk about computer games and our insecurities?"

Indie kids lose their shit for Jenny Lewis. The girls wanna be her and the boys wanna date her. Actually, they want to take her on a kitsch little date to an American diner where they can get a big sundae to share and Jenny'll get a bit of cream on her nose or some cutesy ting like that. That's her in the middle in that photo up there, by the way. She's not amazingly attractive but she's certainly not ugly and she's in a credible band, that really is enough for most people. The best thing about Jenny Lewis and Rilo Kiley, of course, is that they made a great swear song.

2. Rilo Kiley - A Better Son/Daughter

"Sometimes in the morning I am petrified and can't move..."

This swear song came to me on the way to work today. I didn't have a moment of revelation or anything, it just came on shuffle on my iPod. Just want to say here that I defintely don't listen to my iPod on the way to work whilst driving, in case the police are reading. Anyway, 'A Better Son/Daughter' is a great song about self improvement, y'know, getting right with yourself. It's a central subject to a lot of tunes if you think about it. In contrast to those rappers and their braggadocio, indie rockers find it a lot easier to sing about being or getting better than actually doing it. It's the chasm between making a New Year's resolution and actually quitting smoking or getting a six pack I suppose.

The curse words arrive in quick succession in this song and they're extremely pronounced too which gets Rilo Kiley ten more points on the, erm, fuck-o-meter. I genuinely think they were added in at the last minute because if you sing the lines without those words they definitely need a bridge word and "...the good seems bloody cheap," just doesn't hit quite as hard. One of the band members probably just went "Ay yo Jenny. Throw a coupla fucks into that verse if you can't think of nuttin'," and the rest was, as they say, history.

# of words - 2
Severity of words - The second worst one to youknowwhat.
Manner of delivery - Fuck with a cherry on top.

Indie Rockers Can Swear Too - #1 - Okkervil River

2011-01-30T13:52:00.000-08:00

Johnny Cash firmly in F.U.R.B mode.

This post is something I've had kicking around the dust bowl of my brain for quite a while now. It's about swearing, cuss words, cursing. Those words you hear day in, day out from just about everyone yet won't hear on the TV before 9pm. I don't need to give you any examples. Just think about Piers Morgan for a second now for me....yeah, those words.

People often ask if I'm a breast or leg man. Well, I've always been a lyrics man. If a song is especially well written you could back it with a blindfolded raccoon hitting a tin of beans and I wouldn't really care. I listen to lyrics over and over until I've committed them to memory, I listen to songs with the liner notes out in front of me, I google lyrics and get viruses from 'lyric' sites that always immediately offer to send ringtones to your phone for free via a ominous looking pop-up. I'm just a freak for them.

What of swearing though? Does it have a place in music? Are lyrics that include curse words necessary? For me, I think resolutely yes - if they are used well. That's an enormous caveat there, I'll concede.Please note that this post solely relates to indie or alternative rock only because, let's be honest, there'd be little point in writing this about Hip-Hop. Case in point, Rick Ross' 'Hustlin'' which has a first line that reads "Who the fuck ya think ya fucking with I'm the fuckin' boss..." That line right there is twelve words long and includes three curses. That's goddamn 25%.

I'm going to think of a song each day that includes one good use of a bad word and post it up. BTW, in case you were wondering, I'm revelling in the immaturity of writing about naughty words. Revelling in it.

1.Okkervil River - 'Red'

"Yes is my favourite answer..."

This really is an amazing song from the world's best band^TM and it dropped pretty early in their career too. 'Red' is written from the perspective of a guy that knows a mother and a daughter that have grown apart. The daughter has grown up to be a stripper and this could be partly due to her upbringing. At separate times, both mother and daughter confess to the songs protagonist that they miss each other and it is in this daughter's confession that we get a golden swear that goes:

"I know that it's easy to have me/but I have seen some things/That I cannot even tell to my family pictures/And I'm full of fictions and fucking addictions/And I miss my mother."

It's lines like these that make you appreciate how good Will Sheff really is. I can't be the only one that pictures a pretty girl choking these words out as her mascara runs. This swear is one of impact that adds a real spit and kick to its line and especially works well, in more ways than one, with the word 'addictions'.

Along with a helpful youtube link and a paragraph or two of my bollocks, each song will also be judged using the below criterion for my records:

# of words - 1
Severity of word - The second worst one to youknowwhat.
Manner of delivery - Poetic

Vampire, You Should've Come Over.

2011-01-24T12:05:00.000-08:00

If I was dating Kirsten Stewart, the last thing I'd want would be to live forever.

I've spent the last hour or so just loitering around the internet like a pervert in a public toilet. You know how it is - clicking on ridiculous stories that you hope are true on reddit and reading about LOLS on wikipedia - things like that. At some point along this journey I stumbled across this story. For those that are too lazy to even click a damn link, it reads about how Robert Pattinson is "desperate" to play Jeff Buckley in a biopic of his life that is due to be made. It also has some made up vague words from 'sources' saying that Pattinson has asked to play the role. I don't know who these sources are but I'm guessing they're the same ones that comment on celebrity romances, football transfer rumours and WikiLeaks releases.

So, Robert Pattinson as Jeff Buckley. Can you even begin to imagine what that would do to teenage girls around the world? Sensitive tragic dreamboat musician + Sensitive tragic dreamboat vampire = the mass running of mascara and the lightening of parents wallets on a scale never before witnessed. I'm amazed it's taken them* this long to make a film like this in all honesty. I dare say that Jeff Buckley's seemingly endless 'vaults' will somehow provide yet another posthumous release to coincide with the film's launch. Either that or we'll get an album of Buckley covers from some of the music industry's leading lights. I don't know about you but I'd love to hear Ellie Goulding's spin on that "I heard there was a secret chord/that David played and it pleased the Lord..." song. I can't get enough of that one.

Jeff Buckley is known for many things. Drowning in a river, 'Grace' always being on sale, having a really cool Dad. It's amazing that all you hear about him comes off the back of a (admittedly fantastic) debut album and a tragically premature death. He might not have made many songs but the ones he did really were proper songs. It's only right that we honour his memory by having someone like Pattinson playing him in a film about his life.

*them being those dicks in Hollywood just trying to make money off of anything, all the time.

A goldfish could burp a cover of this song and I'd still like it. Yes I know it's not a Buckley original.

"I Was Perfect."

2011-01-23T13:26:00.000-08:00

Swan Lake was composed in 1875-1876 and is still being run today. D'ya reckon 'We Will Rock You' will still be going in 136 years?

I've been pretty stressed recently. Incredibly stressed actually. It's nothing to do with my family, my love life or my health. I haven't moved house nor has my car broken down. It's worse than all of that. Yes, I've got a new laptop and I've had to reinstall and reorder iTunes. If you've done this, you know exactly what kind of trick I'm on. I've got albums with missing tracks, misspelt band names and don't even get me started on album artwork. iShambles.

So an Apple program a day keeps nothing at bay aside from satisfaction and fulfillment then. That's what I've learnt. Things threatened to get too much yesterday when I actually typed 'how much does it cost to have someone do your itunes for you' into google. I'd really hit the wall. In my frustration, I got out of the house and went to see 'Black Swan'. That being Darren Aranofsky's new 'psychosexual thriller' starring Natalie Portman as the newly cast Queen Swan in a performance of 'Swan Lake'. Safe to say, things don't exactly go to plan. Nina (Portman) struggles to come to the terms with the physical and mental demans of such a high profile role. She starts to find that her truest enemy resides in the mirror and as opening night approaches, her life starts to unravel and mirror the tragic tale that 'Swan Lake' has been telling for such a long time now.

I don't really want to say too much and spoil a film that truly has you sitting on the knife edge of your seat but man, it's quite a ride. At the film's core is a contradiction that I should think mystifies many performance artists and people of that sort of disposition - how do you keep precise control of your body whilst simultaneously letting go and giving yourself to a character, an idea, an audience? It's a tough one but Portman is fantastic in a lead role that, much like the one she portrays in the ballet production, is incredibly demanding. 'Black Swan' is one of those films where you think that something or someone truly horrid is waiting around every corner. My mood flitted between tense, mega tense and Mr Tense of Mount Tenseington St essentially. It's a film you have to see at the cinema too so please put your torrents to rest for an evening you freeloading nerds. I really urge you to watch this film at the cinema, just don't see it as a first date. Chicks on first dates ain't quite as down with psychosexual thrillers as you probably imagine.

Also, I only found out after the film that one of the characters is played by Winona Ryder. I can't decide if this passed me by because she looks really different now or whether it's just that I don't recognise her if she isn't on the arm of an indie rocker or another. Can I also take this opportunity to inform you that apparently Mila Kunis use to spend nights playing World of Warcraft for hours and hours when she was dating Macaulay Culkin. Just sat next to each other on different computers. Playing World of Warcraft. For ages. That's what they did.

"Shall we have the LAN party at yours or mine?"

Yeah, I'm trying to work out what's worse between playing WoW or dating Macaulay Culkin too. Answers on a postcard to the usual address. Also, if you know how much money Macaulay has I'd like to know that too. A few films decades ago and being MJ's boyfriend doesn't pay that well, does it?

Two Thousand and Eleven.

2011-01-09T07:17:00.000-08:00

This year will be your best one yet.

Hangovers have crawled back into their shells, party poppers have been swept up and everything feels distinctly similiar to last year. The new year is ten days old tomorrow and my 2011 post count is unsurprisingly at a whole round zero. I'm almost shocked.

Still, it's a new year and there's loads of things to look forward to even in the these dark pit months of January and February. Here's a little rundown of what falls into that category for me, from the top of my head, at 18:31 on this overcast Sunday.

If you do go to see Janelle Monae, make an effort and dress well forchristsake.

Amazing shows -Janelle Monae and Aziz Ansari both head to these recessed shores next month for the first time. Expect to dance until you're breathless at the former and laugh until you're in tears at the latter. Whatever you do, make sure you got to at least one of the aforementioned. They will be yardsticks you'll use to measure everything else you see during the rest of the year. Drake is also here in London, Manchester and Birmingham over the coming week. If you haven't got tickets to those dates yet then fully expect to be logging on to eBay and remortgaging your house in the near future.

Do you think Mila Kunis makes Culkin do the home alone face when they sleep together? The freak.

Amazing films - January is oscar month and 2011 sees two massive hotly anticipated releases. Darren Aranofsky is back with 'Black Swan' with Mila Kunis, Natalie Portman and the amazing Vincent Cassel. Christian Bale has (as always, the only variance is whether he's big or small) gone through an incredible body transformation to drop a third of his body weight for his role in 'The Fighter'. If you don't like films about ballet, you'll probably like films about boxing, right? This month, at the cinema, everyone is a winner. 'Black Swan' is released on January 21st, 'The Fighter' hits (geddit?) cinemas 4th February.

Pharoahe Monch bucks Hip-Hop stereotypes by posing for a photoshoot with a revolver.

Amazing records - The early part of the year sees new releases from The Decemberists, Iron & Wine, Pharoahe Monch, James Blake, Drive By Truckers, Wire, Talib Kweli and some sort of Glee release that they recommend you use for a coaster/frisbee to through at wild animals that trespass in your garden. The rest of the year could bring something from Radiohead, Gaga's 'Born This Way', Dre's 'Detox' (yeah, right), Jeezy's TM103 and the return of the best band on the planet, Okkervil River.

So yeah, plenty of things to make you hang around for a bit longer before you choose to hop off your mortal coil. Happy new year all of you mad men and women.

Listasaurus: The Top 20 Songs of 2010: 05-01

2010-12-24T09:11:00.001-08:00

Oh wow. Here we go. It's Christmas Eve and ~~snow is falling~~ neck breaking amounts of sludge are everywhere. As I walk the streets of this humdrum town I can see families huddled around computer screens. What are they looking at? What can unite all these people like this? Oh cot damn. It's my twitter feed and they are all waiting for a tweet to say that this blog post is up. Happy holidays.

05 Rihanna - 'Only Girl (In The World)'

"...be my prisoner for the night."

I'd say the same thing about Gaga but I'm really thankful Rihanna is around. You know by now that pop stars of her magnitude are unavoidable in everyday life. Regardless of your age, gender or anything else you will be hearing songs by artists like Rihanna on approximately a thrice daily basis. In the launderette, in the bakery, on the car radio on the way to work, from the annoying girl singing in the office. Rihanna and Gaga, though, are different to the rest. Why? Well, I find them both genuinely interesting for one. I find a vast majority of their music really very listenable for two. Perhaps you could say that this has more to do with the people behind the scenes than the actual artists themselves and perhaps you could be right. I'll tell you one thing about that though, I don't really care either way.

'Only Girl (In The World)' initially sounded like a bit of a cash in on this recent R&B/dance crossover trend. Originally, I heard it two or three times and dismissed it as a bit of a dissapointment and got on with my life. However, as the days and weeks rolled on and I kept hearing the song through my own choosing or otherwise, I started to dig it more and more with each listen. As always with Rihanna, the song is shot through with a high voltage sexiness but its a sexiness that is edged with some yearning and some real innocence. It's like reading the diary of the hottest girl at school and finding out that she's got it bad for some kid that couldn't give a shit about her. Something like that anyway. Either way, it's fantastic.

04 Freddie Gibbs - 'National Anthem (Fuck The World)'

"All my shit still be bumpin'..."

Aside from the song at #02 in this list, this is my most played rap song of the year and it takes few listens to work out why. Gibbs really works with LA Riots' beat here so much so that you really cannot imagine them as divided entities. The way in which he slows down to a thug crawl for that chorus and shifts up to a blinding Twista speed for his verses really is spellbinding. As is often the way, Gibbs has really been through a lot in his short life but it's moments like this that make you thankful he came out the other side.

Freddie Gibbs has a lot of material out there. He's a mixtape fiend and filtering this slew of content down to its rawest and purest form can be difficult. I mean, where to start? Well, the easy answer to that is to start with "National Anthem...," because this isn't just Freddie Gibbs' best track, it's one of the best rap tracks of the year. Perhaps more importantly, it marks Gibbs out as a true contender and one to watch very closely come 2011 and beyond.

03 Laura Marling - 'Goodbye England (Covered in Snow)'

"True love is frail and willing to break..."

I posted about Laura Marling earlier in the year when 'I Speak Because I Can' was first released. Back then, I was reeling at how good that album was and how amazing it is that Marling is 20 years old or whatever. Since then I've listened to ISBIC and more specifically 'Goodbye England...' many, many times and with each listen I've realised how irrelevant it is what age Laura Marling is. This is a song that just sounds completely classic. It could've been released at any time over the past fifty years, it really doesn't matter.

Marling has written a song that reads as well as it sounds. It could be read to you as a poem and you'd have nothing to say other than to praise its beauty. You've probably never read a sentence that includes both Freddie Gibbs and Laura Marling before but much like that guy at #04, it's songs like this that mark Marling out as a different breed to her competitors.

There's nothing I like more than being surprised and at no point in the past did I think Laura Marling had a song this good in her. It's simply beautiful and I have my hand on my heart when I say this placing is in no way influenced by it being Christmas nor snow falling in and around this country that Laura and I were born in.

02 Kanye West - 'Monster'

"The best living or dead hands down, huh?"

Who on earth saw this coming? C'mon, hands up. Naw, me neither. When Kanye launched back into the world with his weekly G.O.O.D Friday series no one really knew what to expect. What I didn't foresee was the actual content of these free, weekly released, songs. Firstly, the vast majority of them were pure fire and secondly, the guests Kanye roped in weren't just session musicians or anything, it was stellar major players of (mainly) the rap game. I'm talking Jay-Z, Lupe, Common, Mos Def, Pusha T here. Some of these GF tracks (albeit reworked versions) were later used for 'My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy' and 'Monster' was one of these. It's just too undeniable to be left as anything else.

It's a difficult track to describe to someone without them listening to it as you do. The basics are that it features Rick Ross, Kanye, Jay-Z, Nicki Minaj and Bon Iver (!). Other than that, the shit's plain ridiculous. Kanye quite typically came up with an entirely untypical beat that jumps all over the place and the rest is down to the respective artists and their verses. Ross is on damage control and only gets a couple of bars (how he is best used) and Kanye's swagger is set on ultra high. Jay-Z's verse I don't actually like very much at all but abide for one reason - it sets up Nicki Minaj to stomp through and rip everyone's balls off. Nicki's verse is my musical moment of the year. It's all crazy voices chasing a beat that just doesn't know where its going to go next. She sounds like Godzilla wearing skyscrapers for stilettos. Her verse forms part of a song that is quite simply, if you'll excuse my language, a motherfuckin' monster.

01 The Walkmen - 'Angela Surf City'

"You took the high road..."

I've hinted at how much I adore this song at several separate occasions this year. This adoration was cemented when I got to witness it performed live last month and it did not dissapoint in any way. This one, dear reader, soars.

The Walkmen never get their dues. They do the rounds, tour incessantly and for an indie band in 2010, are pretty prolific too. Even then, I don't feel they get half the press they deserve. For me, they should be spoke about as loftily as The National are. Now I'm aware that The National aren't exactly U2 but even so, there's a big difference in between being in that band and being a member of The Walkmen. Album sales, gig revenues, merchandise. It all counts in a pretty important way. The reasons why I dig this band so much are right there, a mile high, for all to see in 'Angela Surf City'.

To get the obvious out of the way first, they're incredible musicians and if you can't hear that in this song then you're either an idiot or deaf. The most obvious example of their musicianship is the drumming. Always incessant yet strictly melodic, Matt Barrick could just be the best drummer around. It's clear that rest of The Walkmen know this and Barrick often finds himself at centre stage. 'Angela Surf City' kicks off with him rolling out a typical drum beat, for example.

The Walkmen's finest and most famous hour was a song called 'The Rat' which was released in 2004 to raptourous acclaim. Since then, it's often been a case of "yeah they're alright but they'll never top 'The Rat'..." and if the band we're honest up until the release of 'Lisbon' then they might've just agreed. 'Angela Surf City' changes all of that. It shows that 'The Rat' wasn't just a one off. It shows that its possible to go from sounding almost bored in an opening verse to launching into a chorus that's as unstoppable as a runaway train. It shows that you can really achieve something amazing in three minutes and nineteen seconds.

So, that's it. List over. Hope you all enjoyed reading, a spotify playlist of the complete list can be found here*. Have a good christmas and I hope next year is better than this year for all of you.

*some songs aren't on spotify. They've been substituted in a 'next best' sorta way apart from Jeezy and Arcade Fire who are just plain difficult and not on there at all.

Listasaurus: The Top 20 Songs of 2010: 08 - 06

2010-12-22T15:16:00.000-08:00

We are now one post away from the top five. That's simple mathematics right there. If you can't work that out then you probably can't read anyway so this blog is completely lost on you. No, I don't do screen readers, braille or large font translations.

08. Arcade Fire - 'Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains)'

"I need the darkness someone please cut the lights..."

When it comes to indie releases in 2010, they didn't get much bigger than 'The Suburbs'. When it comes to disappointments in 2010, yeah, you can use the second half of that first sentence again. Again, my problems with 'The Suburbs' were much publicised on this blog and on my twitter but if there's one thing I couldn't be accused of, it's not trying enough. I gave that record listen after listen, hour after hour and it just never happened. Amazing if you consider that after hearing 'Funeral' and 'Neon Bible' I couldn't conceive of living my life without those records. They were just that big to me. Epic statements of heart, inspiration and perseverance they are albums that are now four and six years old respectively. They are albums I still listen to on a weekly basis. That says it all, I think.

My problems with 'The Suburbs' may have been plentiful but in 'Sprawl II (Mountains Beyond Mountains)' I found a saving grace that knocked me off my feet and carried me away. It's a song that you swear you've heard before. It could be Kate Bush. It could be Blondie produced by The Knife. Whatever. It's the kind of song that makes mountains beyond mountains seem entirely surmountable.

07. Young Jeezy Ft. Plies - 'Lose My Mind'

"My house stupid dumb big, my rooms got rooms..."

My God this is a banger. There's no other way to put it. In many ways you can hold it up as the archetypal Young Jeezy song. By that I mean it's big, it's dumb and it smashes you in the face like a sledgehammer. As the lead single from the eagerly awaited 'Thug Motivation 103' 'Lose My Mind' did exactly what it was meant to. It banged and made you think "Man, that new Jeezy album is going to be some ridiculous shit." The only issue, OF COURSE, is that there is no sign of that album at the moment and the release date seems to change with the wind direction.

This is all to take nothing away from the song though. Clocking in at just under four minutes, Jeezy bosses his two verses just as we've come to take for granted whilst Plies spits his out like he's been chewing on concrete and barbed wire for the past coupla weeks. Plies is Plies, I'll give you absolutely nothing if you guess the content of his lines, let's put it that way. Again, God, this is a banger.

06. Robyn - 'Call Your Girlfriend'

"And then you let her down easy..."

Much like Drake, 2010 has been truly a year to remember for Robyn. In a year that saw her release two EPs and a full length, she is now reaping the rewards and also finds herself at the business end of just about everybody's end of year lists.

The biggest compliment I can pay to Robyn is that this song could've been one of about five. If I was intending to include more than one song per artist in this list then she would've had multiple entries. 'Indestructible', 'Hang With Me', 'Dancing On Your Own' and 'Cry When You Get Older' could all be substituted in place of this song I've chosen here quite easily. 'Call Your Girlfriend' is different though. It's simply the most mature, most accurate and incisively written pop song I've heard this year. In her first verse Robyn sings "Tell her not to get upset, second-guessing everything you said and done..." and man, that's a hell of a line. We've all been there haven't we? One thing goes wrong and there you are left wondering if the whole thing was a sham from day one. This is something Robyn does better than anyone. She can take minute details of life, of love, and she can retell them in these amazing songs so they sound anything but small. Oh, and all this to tunes you can dance to. The best way to put this is to say that, at the moment, there is no one making music who can soundtrack tears on a dance floor better than Robyn.

Listasaurus: The Top 20 Songs of 2010: 11 - 09

2010-12-20T13:19:00.000-08:00

Computer has contracted a virus to end all viruses which has greatly impacted my ability to post on this blog and observe hardcore pornography. Yet, we journey on, in spite of all, we journey on.

11. Lady Gaga Ft. Beyonce - 'Telephone'

"Sometimes I feel like I live in Grand Central Station..."

Lady Gaga really understands the concept of the music single. She understands that singles were once real events. Memorable events that you could map your years and decades by. From a rough count I just conducted in my head I reckon she's head seven in this country now. Seven singles and each one stands as tall as the one that precedes it. It's quite a run and when 'Telephone' was released earlier in the year it was a run that you couldn't really ever see coming to an end.

From a song that starts so sweetly 'Telephone' has a hook so massive and so dirty it sounds like it turned your stereo up on its own. This hook is one of many aspects of this song that play exactly to Gaga's strengths and for me her main virtue is her voice. It's powerful and it works for these massively commercial singles that sell millions yet it still retains a lot of character. Give the tune a listen, she even eats Beyonce off the track and by and large, that isn't too easy to do.

Not a bad video either. 34,668,998 views* can't be wrong.

*and counting. Safely say I'm responsible for the 98.

10. Big Boi Ft. Gucci Mane - 'Shine Blockas'

"All the ladies say 'Hooooeeeee'..."

The second entry on my list that owes a lot to a great, great sample/beat. Here it's a sample of Howard Melvin's 'I Miss You'* that sets 'Shine Blockas' up to be a summer staple for years to come.

It's not a great leap to be reminded of 'International Players Anthem' when listening to this slab of southern magic because all the hallmarks that made that song so colossal are here too. This is a slick tune that just rolls and rolls and get this - even Gucci Mane can't ruin things. I think I've been pretty vocal with my opinions on Gucci but in case you missed them, I'll repeat briefly here. Yeah, I find him really boring. Still, on 'Shine Blockas' he really fits and I can't actually think of another rapper who could take his role here and do something better. For that, I say hats off Gucci Mane, hats off.

*Yes, I had to google it, hater.

And we move into single figures. The excitement is barely containable! This is as exciting as HTML code gets you worms. Show some love.

9. Big K.R.I.T - 'Hometown Hero'

"Not a day off but I'm still Ferris Bueller..."

Big K.R.I.T is the artist that got me more excited than any other this year. He sums up all I love about discovering new music and in this case, what I really dig about the internet too. I'd never heard of BK three months ago. I mean that too, never heard his name or anything about him. Then I started hearing things here and there online. The usual suspects saying that this guy was something special and the fact that Sha Money XL made him a top priority when he took up his Def Jam seat started to pique my interest. I downloaded the cleverly titled 'K.R.I.T Wuz Ere' and was astounded. The mixtape and debut album is as tight as anything I've heard this year in rap aside from Kanye's record and genuinely stands up with any debut I've heard in at least the past five years.

'Hometown Hero' samples Adele's 'Hometown' to great effect. That is, there's touches of it here and there. It's used when it needs to be used in a way that only adds to the song. It really is an ingenious piece of sample selection that does seem to come from way out in left field whilst B.K's vocal sounds like UGK at their most mournful and reflective.

The K.R.I.T stands for King Revealed In Time by the way. On the strength of his debut record and songs like this one, that title might turn out to be a pretty good prophecy come a few years down the line. King revealed.

Listasaurus: The Top 20 Songs of 2010: 14 - 12

2010-12-10T15:18:00.000-08:00

The list continues apace. Three more pieces of solid gold.

14. Josh Ritter - 'The Curse'

She asks "Are you cursed?" He says "I think that I'm cured."

I still have a lot of time for good old fashioned songs and that's exactly what 'The Curse' is. It's nothing much really. There's little more than a repetitive piano piece, a lone trumpet and Ritter's well pronounced crystal clear vocal but it's truly a beautiful listen.

I'm not really sure what this song is about. Love, fame and ego perhaps. No one other than Josh Ritter can tell you that but since the release of 'So Runs The World Away' I've been really enjoying trying to decipher this one over and over again. Fantastic video too. The sort of video that you watch once and know that you will forever think about it when listening to the accompanying song in the future.

13. Drake - 'The Resistance'

"I'm living inside the moment, not taking pictures to save it."

I can really see why people dislike Drake. He's an actor, he's riding on Lil Wayne's coattails, he ain't 'real', some of his lines are just so goofy/hammy. Truly, I understand all that. 'Thank Me Later' though, is a record that I've returned to time and time again this year. I've come to the conclusion that (for a change) it's all down to those beats. Drake's long term bro 40 produced a fair chunk of 'Thank Me Later', including 'The Resistance', and it really is wonderfully done. That withdrawn almost isolated beat backs up Drake, who sounds as conversational as ever, fantastically well. It's barely there, I mean, you've really gotta listen out for it but what it does is just so vital.

Lyrically, Drake's got issues man, he doesn't know whether he's coming or going actually. He's carrying his city's weight like a cargo ship but he can't find the time to call his Gran who's just gone in the nursing home. That sort of thing. If you listen to the record you'll discover that finding this balance between blowing up yet staying 'normal' and a relatively decent man is a recurring theme and I dig that a lot actually.

2010 has been an enormous year for Drake with his debut album selling 447,000 copies in its first week and his profile going stratospheric but when success sounds like this, it's hard to begrudge.

12. The National - 'Afraid of Everyone'

"Your voice is swallowing my soul, soul, soul, soul."

The National stick to the 'write about what you know' maxim better than anyone else I can think of. Fears, worries, anxieties, doubts. The murky sides of the human condition, the things we'd all probably eradicate if we could, that's the bands bread and butter.

Since its release, I've gradually come round to the thinking that 'High Violet' is a record of two halves. The second of which ('Afraid of Everyone' onwards) is of such a high quality it's almost scary. In fact, if the first half was as good as the second, album of the year questions would be little more than foregone conclusions. Perhaps it's this consideration - that this song is the start of something amazing - that has assisted me in growing so fond of it. Either that or I've simply fallen in love with a very good song that reassures me that it's alright not to be so sure of everything all the time.

After listening to the song again a minute ago, I think its those ghostly backing melodies that do it for me. Strip them away and this'd probably sound a bit like a demo of a really great song. Leave them in and you have one of the best songs of the year.

Oh, you also definitely have the best outro of the year

All together now, Your voice is swallowing....

Listasaurus: The Top 20 Songs of 2010: 17 - 15

2010-12-08T13:43:00.000-08:00

Without further ado, songs 17 - 15 listed below. I must say writing a list like this certainly has a big influence on what you listen to as you write. Below a screen grab of my listening as I typed up songs 20 - 18 yesterday.

Variety is the spice of life.

17. Wild Nothing - 'Live In Dreams'

"I'd rather live in dreams and I'd rather die..."

Music really doesn't care for geographical boundaries. It happily spans oceans and continents touching all that it crosses on the way. Now, at some point during the 80s a few heavyweights (Cocteau Twins, The Cure even MBV) of the UK indie scene released some records that over time found their way to a guy called Jack Tatum in Virginia. Jack Tatum took this music, channeled his influences and started releasing music under the moniker of Wild Nothing and whilst its not strictly fair to say that 'Live In Dreams' and the rest of WN's fantastic debut, 'Gemini', is little more than a run down of what was good in Manchester in 1985, it does sound very much that way. That, of course, is completely a good thing.

I think people have been calling this sort of thing dream pop which sounds about right. Yet with that said, it's probably easier to just say that this song reminds you of times you can only just remember and bands you'll never forget.

16. Mavis Staples - 'You Are Not Alone'

"Every tear, on every face, tastes the same."

I'll be straight: I only sought out Mavis Staples' record 'You Are Not Alone' when I heard about Jeff Tweedy's involvement in it. There you are, I said it. Wilco are one of my favourite bands so when the lead singer lends himself to a project like Tweedy did with Staples, it's only natural that I'm going to check it out. I didn't know what to expect, I definitely didn't expect a song like 'You Are Not Alone'.

'You Are Not Alone' is as tender and warm is they come. It's a comforting song, it's the sort of song you listen to when you think the title is a complete and utter lie. If someone you cared about played you this song, you'd probably care for them a bit more afterwards. It's all of those things but one thing that struck me when I heard it was how much it sounded like a Wilco song. I mean no disrespect to Mavis Staples there and I know that Tweedy wrote it and played on it so it's not a surprise but shit, this would slot right into 'Sky Blue Sky'. Thing is, if Tweedy sang it you might think it was nice, pretty or whatever. When Staples sings it, you feel like you've known it your whole life.

15. Cee Lo Green - 'Fuck You'

"Now ain't that some shit?"

This song had to be included at some point, didn't it? 'Fuck You', quite simply, just works in every single way. It's so much fun, most people can relate to it and at some point everybody has found themselves singing it. It's all in the juxtapostion of those heartbroken jealous words vs the ludicrously joyous R&B, it's all in the "..and I'm like" that precedes each 'fuck you', it's all in that smile that crosses your face each time the chorus rolls back around.

I've not heard Cee Lo's new album but I'd be astounded if there's another song like 'Fuck You' on it. You know what though? Cee Lo Green made one of the best singles of the past decade and with this song he's made one of the best of this brand new one too so, well, fuck you.

Listasaurus: The Top 20 Songs of 2010: 20 - 18

2010-12-07T14:34:00.000-08:00

There's a time and a place for clever, witty or lengthy post titles and this, I believe, is not it. Now, I've spent the past few weeks doing a couple of things:

a) Not posting on the blog. This is clear for all to see. I offer no excuses. "November spawned a monster..." Morrissey once sang. He neglected to mention that it definitely doesn't spawn blog posts, the nimby little fop.

b) Whittling a long list of songs down to twenty entries so I can post a list of them on this perverse little corner of the internet.

A disclaimer of sorts first though. I don't think 2010 has been a vintage year by any means and I fully expect my list to overlap with other sites and blogs. Anyway, here goes. Lists are serious shit people. Serious. Shit.

20. The Hold Steady - 'The Weekenders'

"She said 'the theme of this party's the industrial age,'...and you came in dressed like a train-wreck."

'Heaven Is Whenever' really didn't last very long in my CD player. Regrettably, it didn't hook me like The Hold Steady records have in the past and by that I mean fish hook in your mouth that will never let go hooked. I remember the artwork being incredibly cool yet I barely remember five songs from the actual record. Still, 'The Weekenders' is one of my most played songs of the year.

Craig Finn opens proceedings with "There was that whole weird thing with the horses..." and from there on in you find yourself living in a Hold Steady dreamworld. As powerful as it is unsure of itself, 'The Weekenders' just begs to be played over and over again because it simply has everything you want from rock song. That irresistible soft/loud verse to chorus pattern, those big riffs and all those lines you just wanna tattoo on your skin. The Hold Steady do what they do and when they do it right, it's unforgettable.

19. Rick Ross (ft. Styles P.) - 'B.M.F (Blowin' Money Fast)'

"I built it ground up/you bought it renovated..."

I'm not writing a separate list on the best beats or producers I've heard this year. I mean, I'd love to but I've got a job and stuff. Even so, I don't mind admitting that the main reason that 'B.M.F...' finds itself in this list is the absolutely ridiculous beat Lex Luger pulled out for this joint. I can't remember the last time I heard something that just breathed enormity. This thing is like Godzilla with skyscrapers for feet pounding down the street. With backing like that Ross could've done pretty much anything on this beat and it would've sounded monstrous but he steps up to the plate pretty well too. It's Rick Ross after all, it's going to be big and it's going to be dumb but that beat, well, it's two things; irresistible and undeniable. Just listen to it man. Listen to it loud and then get someone to help you up off the floor.

18. Broken Bells - 'The High Road'

"Come on and get the minimum..."

When I first heard about the Broken Bells collaboration I was excited and worried in equal measure. On one hand you had one of the best lyricist and singers in indie rock and the most sought after producer going working together. Yet, in the other negative and dirty hand you have that nagging doubt that Dangermouse tries to do too much sometimes. He can really suffocate songs and albums with too many ideas, that one trick too far. Hey, there's a reason no one remembers any Gnarls Barkley songs aside from 'Crazy'. Yes, I agree that once you have made a song like 'Crazy' your talent should never really be questioned ever again but whatever.

Still, on 'The High Road' everything fell into its right place. Mercer was given space to breathe, the drums were perfectly paced and stated and that "...it's too late to change your mind" coda could sing a sunburnt baby to sleep.

Time You Enjoy Wasting, Is Not Wasted.

2010-11-01T15:05:00.000-07:00

Chuck Norris is also 70 this year. If alive, do you think Lennon would swop his musical career for Chuck's internet popularity in his latter years?

Miraculously the title is not another hammy line ripped from the delightful pages of Facebook Quotes that I linked to in my last post about 'The Social Network'. Oh no, that's a quote from Mr John Lennon right there. It really states the obvious too, doesn't it? Whether you've wasted time on something is entirely subjective as well. If you enjoy watching paint dry then you'd probably consider staring at a wall of wet paint for hours on end quite a worthwhile activity.

John Lennon was 70 this year of course. I've been listening to 'Plastic Ono Band' a whole lot in the car recently too. An album that really stands up regardless of Lennon's unmistakable celebrity and any bands he happened to be in before it was released, I'd hasten to add. It's a raw listen, it really is. I've always loved how the first thing you hear on this whole record aside from that funeral gong is Lennon's "Motherrrrrrrr...." which comes in a millisecond before any percussion does. Really sets the tone of that wonderfully helpless song beautifully.

In more important news, the Royal Mint are going to feature John Lennon of John Lennon Airport fame on a new commemorative £5 coin they are pressing. These coins are due to sell for £44.99 each. Now I like John as much as the next man but there's something wrong about handing over £45 and getting back a £5 coin in return. You could call the coin an investment but me being me, I just know that there'd be a time over the next couple of years where I'd have no change at the Petrol Station and that shiny coin would be used to buy a bottle of Lucozade, a pack of Monster Munch and a Sherbet Dib-Dab. I just know it.

This vocal on this song below just rips. Swear you can hear vocal chords shredding at some points.

"Innn the mornniinnnn', wannnnaaa dieeeee."

Why Keep Your Life on Hold, For Hope?

2010-10-31T13:31:00.000-07:00

You can get to 8 blog followers without making any enemies though. Who's laughing now ZSuckerberg?

The title of this post is taken from a ridiculous site I just stumbled across called Facebook Quotes. As expected, this site solely consists of quotes people can use for their Facebook statuses. They're arranged in lists under titles like 'Hope' and 'Missing you'. If I told you that they're all hideously spelt and just a little bit melodramatic would you be surprised? Thought not.

I've just got back from holiday so I haven't been posting on here nor have I been tweeting. If you've noticed then, well, I'm flattered actually. Meanwhile, I've been a bit slow with cinema releases this year which is to say that whilst I've watched things, I've usually only got round to seeing them after they've been out for weeks. For evidence of this read my post I made earlier in the year hating on 'Inception' and then subsequent awkward opinion reversal posts when I'd actually *seen* it and realised that, oh wow, it's really quite good. Hey, don't look at me like that. I always judge things both too early and, by and large, by their cover.

With the above paragraph considered, I finally got around to watching 'The Social Network' last night and it was really good. I'll say here that when I originally heard the premise of the film I was a bit put off. I mean Facebook, at the absolute best of times, is pretty painful* and these guys are making a film about this time waster. I mean, seriously? It was when I was thinking thoughts like these that someone nudged me and told me about all the fascinating power struggles Facebook had encountered during its inception (oh! nice link) and more importantly that the film was going to be directed by all round nice guy and really-good-at-what-he does-man, David Fincher.

This success of this film for me is largely down to two factors. Firstly, the script is brilliantly lean and really conveys what it probably was like when some nerds decided to, by hook or by crook, set up this site that we now waste all of our lives on. These guys aren't portrayed as being amazingly charasmatic nor are they especially witty and that was something I thought might have been lost in translation. It'd be easy to write the creators up as prodigious upstarts that saw what they wanted in life, what they aspired to be and just went out there and got it. Life is, of course, rarely like that and whether some of the decisions we witness being made in this film were by accident or design, it's sort of hard to tell. The film reflects all this brilliantly.

Secondly, the acting (Zuckerberg's character in particular) is faultless. Jesse Eisenburg plays Zuckerberg as a 'coding genius'. That term right there 'coding genius' may as well be a synonym for 'geek', let's be honest here. The crucially important thing about Mark Zuckerberg in real life and as he is portrayed here is to remember that he was never in any doubt about his abilities. He knew and still knows how good he is. Eisenburg underpins his performance with a knowing self satisfaction that makes him look obnoxious pre Facebook taking off but completely vindicated as the users log on in their thousands, his HTML coding gets him groupies and he becomes BFFs with the extremely annoying Sean Parker played by Justin Timberlake. Here bringin' SexyBack with that stupid perm looking thing he use to rock in N*Sync's dying days.

So 'The Social Network' becomes the second big film of the year to completely exceed my expectations. The first one being 'Inception', of course. I was going to end this post with a joke that links those two films but to be honest, I don't think you could find two films more diametrically opposed unless you were watching 'Mean Girls' on one screen and 'Jurassic Park' on another, so I gave up.

*I understand that the quality of your own Facebook experience depends totally on who you have on your friends list. It just so happens that my friends list is made up of people I'm not friends with, people I don't know and people that can't spell. Thems the breaks.

Lost In The World

2010-10-25T03:39:00.000-07:00

Despite being male, I'd still swop my talking voice for Nicki Minaj's in a heartbeat.

Kanye West's film 'Runaway' premiered on the US networks at the weekend. Naturally, it was all over the sick, twisted and quite brilliant internet within a moment's notice.

The film is an interesting one, to say the least. I was going to try and write a small summary of what happens but I feel that you will all think I've finally lost it if I do. Let's just say that the film includes an asteroid smashing into earth, a phoenix being born, Kanye and phoenix watching a fireworks display whilst a massive Michael Jackson papier mache head is paraded and some ballerinas dancing around to a song that includes the line "24/7 365 pussy stays on my mind." All this and its only 34 minutes long. Take note James Cameron with your shitty little blue world boring everyone into submission for hours on end.

For a fan boy like me, the main draw of this film is to hear the vast majority of songs included on 'My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy', albeit in snippet form. Safe to say that the ones I haven't already heard sound very interesting. Really digging the Rihanna featuring 'All of The Lights' I must say. The film is beautifully shot and at times is remarkably vivid, I've never seen anything like it before. My monitor is ancient and dusty as anything too. It's like it was recently salvaged from Tutankhamun's tomb. How much Mr West has to do with the actual cinematography and all I don't know, but either way, it's definitely worth watching. Gotta say that Kanye's acting when he has a line (which is rare) is a bit lame but he cleverly distracts you by wearing some super sharp suits. The mischievous, badly acting and well dressed little scamp.

In Memoriam - Elliott Smith

2010-10-21T11:11:00.000-07:00

I remember October 21, 2003 really well. It was the day my favourite artist, Elliott Smith, died. It was a normal day really, nothing extraordinary happened to make it stand out from any other. I remember that I heard the news and I remember that I went to the supermarket for something and it absolutely poured down. On the way there the radio was playing a recently released R.E.M song called 'Bad Day'. I won't attribute any greater meaning or anything to this weather or this song but both sort of made me think that I didn't wanna be out of the house that evening. I got home a little later and played Elliott's albums back to back like I had a million times before. I wasn't overwhelmed with sadness or loss, I remember just feeling very, very strange.

Seven years have now passed since that day and a lot has happened to me since then. The good and the bad, the ups and the downs. Nothing more or less than this life game promises us all, I suppose. Elliott's music, however, has always been a constant. He remains my favourite artist and I'm still regularly surprised by a turn of one of his phrases or a melody buried deep in one of the many astounding songs he released. I remember the day I first heard 'Either/Or' and couldn't help but think that I was the only person in the world to ever listen to the record. You'd listen to these songs and feel like you'd just shared a secret and a beer with the man. To this day, I'm still a little taken aback when I read an article about him or overhear someone discussing him. I always want to say "You're in on this thing too? I thought it was just me."

Since his death I've also come to understand why I felt so strange on that rainy day in October. I think it had something to do with knowing that someone like Elliott was out there, making the music he was making, on this same planet I was inhabiting. It was comforting, in a strange way. There was always the promise that he'd announce a tour and I could go see him or that he'd release some details of a new record that I could get stupidly excited about. When he died, he took this promise and this comfort with him. Whilst I'm eternally grateful for the body of work he has left behind, it's also difficult, from a purely selfish viewpoint, not to rue what could've been and what he could've done.

Elliott seemed to be a conflicted character that didn't get along with himself too well sometimes. I know that's a extremely basic way to put it but so much is written about his life, his death and everything in between that's it's almost easier to look at it that way. Whilst his life may have acted as the catalyst (be that for good or for bad) behind his art, I prefer not too look into it in too much detail. It's simply not my place to. Clearly, Elliott went to some dark places in his thirty four years. To me, however, it's now more important to stress that the man had an amazing gift for writing songs that speak to your very core. Songs that sometimes sounded more like whispered reassurances that everything's going to be okay than a guy with some instruments and a ludicrous amount of talent.

I'm trying to keep this short and not too gushing so I'll sign out here and just say, keep Elliott Smith in your thoughts for a minute or two this week. In fact, I'll help you with that one. Watch the video below, there's a couple of minutes or so right there that'll lodge him in the forefront of your mind.

Elliott Smith - 'Alameda'

This Job Is Killing Me.

2010-10-08T15:23:00.000-07:00

You know when people get stranded by the tide coming in? They must be really thick, right? It's happened to me three times in my life thus far :*(

Not this one. I haven't blogged for so long that you couldn't really call this a job. Those lovely fellas in sportswear queueing up down at the jobcentre do more work in a day than I've done on this blog in the last three weeks. As always, no real reason. Life just tends to get in the way. If you aren't already, follow me on twitter at @manmeetdinosaur. I post far more frequently on there. The material is identical to this blog though, I warn you now. Posts containing content that mainly conform to a music/popular culture focus whilst often shot through with biting sarcasm and historical inaccuracies. Safe to say if you hate my blog, you'll despise my twitter.

I've decided to post because I'm avoiding (or trying to) eBay right now, if you must know. Not because I've bought some old shit that i'm trying to avoid paying for. I'm not just sat here as vitrolic negative feedback piles up. Oh no. I just always buy rubbish on ebay I don't want. In fact, in my university days someone once found me typing 'weapons' into the eBay search bar FFS. I wasn't even doing it in a Anarchist/kid about to go postal way either. I just thought it'd be cool to buy some ninja stars or something like that. Maybe some of those ninja sticks. I often wonder where my student loan went y'know.

So, whilst I'm here, I'll talk about The Walkmen. I was just reading this great little feature over at the ever brilliant FADER site about these guys and it got me to thinking about them and how truly magnificent they are. One thing I probably overstate when writing about bands/artists on here is consistency. I always seem to be lauding bands for being consistent when I can understand people who argue that if someone makes a record that is a stone cold classic, yet also a one off that they'll never match again, then what's wrong with that? Well, nothing really but The Walkmen are one of those bands that make great albums time and time again. They aren't unknown, sure, but the amount of inches you'll read on bands that don't stack up to the knees of this lot is enormous. Trust me when I tell you that they are far more than just 'The Rat'. Although, I must say here that song still makes me go absolutely mental when I hear it. Proper beating-my-heart-and-shouting-to-the-heavens style like I'm Brian Blessed after a full fat Red Bull. "CAN'T YOU HEAR ME! I'M BEATING ON THE WAAALLL!" I scream at the mirror. "Yeah I can, STFU!" wail the neighbours.

Anyway, I've just ordered The Walkmen's new record 'Lisbon' from the ever speedy* Play.com and I highly suggest you do too. I have the highest of hopes. The title video of this post is a song called 'Stranded' (horns baby! horns) and the song below is called 'Angela Surf City'. I think these two tunes highlight the quality of this band well and also, they couldn't really be more different. (Somebody give that drummer a glass of water. Boy on fiah.) Both songs are taken from 'Lisbon' which is out on Monday.

Can't imagine too many surfer chicks being called Angela, I must say.

* Haha. I told a lie.